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A handbook offering "reassurance, sympathy, and sound advice on how to cope with a family that is splitting up."
Welcome to The Relationship Guide For Optimists. F. Scott Fitzgerald said, "There are no second acts in American lives." He was a literary genius, but a relationship dummy. Or pessimist, anyway. Of course there are second acts in our lives. And nineteenth and 100th acts, too. If you're an optimist, that is. If you optimistically reject that a few words-say, til death do us part-eliminate forever any chance to begin anew. Or that bad decisions, or ones that despite good intentions and efforts turn out poorly, are final. No, optimists think unfortunate, even horrible, situations are natural, inevitable challenges in a well-lived life. Many-most-serious relationships don't last a lifetime. They just don't. But when that happens, here we don't mourn or seethe. Optimistically, we say, well ok, time for a reality check. Recommit and dig in for another attempt at rebirthing the relationship? Maybe. But, maybe not. Perhaps it's time to gently, thoughtfully, caringly put things in order. And take loving care of others. Then go back to that hopeful you, start fresh, search for happiness again. That's what optimists do, right? Fall down but get back up, brush off and keep moving ahead? Sound like you? Or a person you'd like to be, or be again? Then this guide's for you, optimist.
Definitive advice from the author of the bestselling "Get out of my life". Divorce, argues Anthony E. Wolf, does not have to do long-term damage to a child. In his groundbreaking new book, he shows parents how to steer children through the pain and the complex feelings engendered by divorce, feelings that, if not resolved, can create continuing problems for a child. Wolf also explains how to deal with the difficult issues that so frequently accompany a divorce. How do you tell your child about the divorce? How do you keep your children from being caught between you and your ex-partner? What do you do if that other parent gradually fades out of their lives? Or, how do you maintain strong ties with your children if you are not the primary custodial parent? How do you help them cope with new living arrangements, as well as stepparents or stepsiblings? "Why did you have to get a divorce?" is filled with stories that parents will recognize with relief. Positive, at times even funny, and, above all, effective, this guide will speak directly to divorcing and divorced parents.
Seventy now-adult children of divorce give their candid and often heart-wrenching answers to eight questions (arranged in eight chapters, by question), including: What were the main effects of your parents' divorce on your life? What do you say to those who claim that "children are resilient" and "children are happy when their parents are happy"? What would you like to tell your parents then and now? What do you want adults in our culture to know about divorce? What role has your faith played in your healing? Their simple and poignant responses are difficult to read and yet not without hope. Most of the contributors--women and men, young and old, single and married--have never spoken of the pain and consequences of their parents' divorce until now. They have often never been asked, and they believe that no one really wants to know. Despite vastly different circumstances and details, the similarities in their testimonies are striking; as the reader will discover, the death of a child's family impacts the human heart in universal ways.
A step-by-step approach to making your marriage loving again.
You Can Love God and Still Get a Divorce. And get this, God will still love you. Really. Are you in a destructive marriage? One of emotional, physical, or verbal abuse? Infidelity? Neglect? If yes, you know you need to escape, but you're probably worried about going against God's will. I have good news for you. You might need to divorce to save your life and sanity. And God is right beside you. In "The Life-Saving Divorce" You'll Learn: - How to know if you should stay or if you should go.- The four key Bible verses that support divorce for infidelity, neglect, and physical and/or emotional abuse. - Twenty-seven myths about divorce that aren't true for many Christians. - Why a divorce is likely the absolute best thing for your children. - How to deal with friends and family who disapprove of divorce. - How to find safe friends and churches after a divorce. Can you find happiness after leaving your destructive marriage? Absolutely yes! You can get your life back and flourish more than you thought possible. Are you ready? Then let's go. It's time to be free. This book includes multiple first-person interviews. Explains psychological abuse, gaslighting, the abuse cycle, Christian divorce and remarriage, children and divorce, domestic violence, parental alienation, mental abuse, and biblical reasons for divorce. Includes diagrams such as the Duluth Wheel of Power and Control (the Duluth Model) and the Abuse Cycle, as well as graphs based on Paul Amato's 2003 study analyzing Judith Wallerstein's book, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce. Includes quotes by Leslie Vernick, Lundy Bancroft, Shannon Thomas, David Instone-Brewer, Natalie Hoffman, LifeWay Research, Kathleen Reay, Gottman Institute, Glenda Riley, Martin Luther, John Calvin, Steven Stosny, Michal Gilad, Leonie Westenberg, Nancy Nason-Clark, Julie Owens, Marg Mowczko, Justin Holcomb, Barna Group, Justin Lehmiller, Alan Hawkins, Brian Willoughby, William Doherty, Brad Wright, Bradford Wilcox, Sheila Gregoire, E Mavis Hetherington, John Kelly, Betsey Stevenson, Justin Wolfers, Norm Wright, Virginia Rutter, Judith Herman, and Bessel van der Kolk. Recommended reading list includes: Henry Cloud, John Townsend Boundaries books, Richard Warshack books.
'When is [Daddy] coming home with the divorce? Is it a toy to play with? Is it a special kind of pet? Where did Daddy have to go to get it? Mommy, what is a divorce anyway?' Fred doesn't understand divorce, but his parents are getting one. As he learns about what it is, your child will also begin to understand what a divorce is and that Mom, Dad, and God still love him or her very much. Help your child in this difficult time by reading 'We're Getting a Divorce' together.
“Potent, accessible tools for your family and your future.” —Gwyneth Paltrow Marital strife and divorce can be your chance to profoundly transform yourself, your mindset and your relationship with a more harmonious and steady vision. While many of us may be better together, some of us can actually become better apart. What if you emerged from your divorce stronger and more resilient than ever before? Better Apart is the first book to apply the life-changing, healing wisdom of meditation and yoga, combined with practical advice, to help anyone going through the painful and seemingly intractable realities of divorce. Gabrielle Hartley and Elena Brower are warm and caring guides who can help you compassionately part from your partner. Whether your separation is amicable, or your ex is combative, Better Apart can help you find peace, calm, and hope. Blending practical advice from a legal perspective together with spiritual wisdom, Gabrielle and Elena are experts and realists who have created a simple five-step process that uses original meditations, perspective-shifting exercises, and fresh suggestions to help navigate the common legal and emotional pitfalls of divorce. Don’t worry if you’ve never tried yoga or mediation; Gabrielle’s insight buttressed by Elena’s practices and exercises are accessible for all. Together, they show you how to meaningfully shift your mindset and to move forward though any—or all—parts of this emotionally fraught process. Better Apart radically reframes the way couples experience, execute, and recover from when “for better or worse” is no longer an option, and helps you find the road to a new mindset and better life.
In this captivating and radical look at “work-life balance,” Lara Bazelon reframes our understanding of working women—and shows how prioritizing your career benefits mothers, kids, and society at large. In this singular cultural moment, mothers have unparalleled opportunities to succeed at work while continuing to face the same societal impediments that held back our mothers and grandmothers. We still encounter entrenched gender bias in the workplace and are expected to shoulder the lion’s share of labor and burdens at home while being made to feel as if we’re never doing enough. All the while we’re told that the perfect work-life balance is possible, if only we try hard enough to achieve it. It’s time to change the conversation—about work, life, and “balance.” Work and life are inextricably, intimately intertwined. We need to celebrate what we do give our children—even and especially in moments of imbalance—rather than apologizing for what we don’t. In this way, we can model for our children how we use our talents to help others and raise awareness about the issues closest to our hearts. We can embrace the personal fulfillment and financial independence that pursuing meaningful work can bring as a way of showing our children how to live happy, purpose-driven lives. Bazelon argues not only that we can but that we should. Being ambitious at work and being a good mother to our children are not at odds—these qualities mutually reinforce each other. Backed up by research and filled with personal stories from Bazelon’s life, as well as that of her mother and the many other women she interviewed across the cultural and financial spectrum, Ambitious Like a Mother is an anthem, a beacon for all to recognize and celebrate the pioneering women who reject the false idols of the Selfless Mother and Work-Life Balance, and a call to embrace your own ambitions and model your multiplicities for your children.
When a marriage ends, the most important thing divorcing parents can do is to help their children through this difficult transition and remain united as parents even if they are no longer united as a couple. In Parenting Apart divorce coach Christina McGhee offers practical advice on how to help children adjust and thrive during and after separation and divorce. She looks at all the different issues parents may face with their children of different ages, offering immediate solutions to the most critical parenting problems divorce brings, including: ·When to tell your children about the divorce and what to say ·How to create a loving, secure home if your child doesn't live with you full time ·What to do if your child is angry or sad ·How to manage the legal system, including information on family law and issues of custody ·How to deal with a difficult ex This is an invaluable resource that offers parents quick access to the information you most need at a time when you need it most.