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We live in a culture—especially at work—that prefers harmony over discord, agreement over dissent, speed over deliberation. We often smile and nod to each other even though deep down we could not disagree more. Whether with colleagues, friends, or family members, the tendency to paper over differences rather than confront them is extremely common. We believe that the best thing to do to preserve our relationships and to ensure that our work gets done as expeditiously as possible is to silence conflict. Let’s face it, most bosses don’t encourage us to share our differences. Indeed, many people are taught that loyal employees accept corporate values, policies, and decisions—never challenging or questioning them. If we want to hold on to our jobs and move up in our organizations, stifling conflict is the safest way to do it—or so we believe. And it is not just with our bosses that we fear raising a dissenting opinion. We worry about what our peers and even our subordinates may think of us. We don’t want to embarrass ourselves or create a bad impression. We don’t want to lose others’ respect or risk rejection. We often associate conflict with its negative form—petty bickering, heated arguing, a bloody fight. But conflict can also be a source of creative energy; when handled constructively by both parties, differences can lead to a healthy and fruitful collaboration, creation, or construction of new knowledge or solutions. When we silence conflict, we avoid the possibility of negative conflict, but we also miss the potential for constructive conflict. Worse yet, as Leslie Perlow documents, the act of silencing conflict may create the consequences we most dread. Tasks frequently take longer or never get done successfully, and silencing conflict over important issues with people for whom we care deeply can result in disrespect for, and devaluing of, those same people. Each time we silence conflict, we create an environment in which we’re all the more likely to be silent next time. We get caught in a vicious “silent spiral,” making the relationship progressively less safe, less satisfying, and less productive. Differences get glossed over, patched over, and suppressed . . . until disaster happens. “Saying yes when you really mean no” is a problem that haunts organizations from start-ups to multi- nationals. It exists across industries, levels, and functions. And it’s exacerbated by a down economy, when the fear of losing one’s job is on everybody’s mind and the idea of allowing conflict to surface or disagreeing with others seems particularly risky. All too often, the conversation at work bespeaks harmony and togetherness, even though passionate disagreements exist beneath the surface. Leslie A. Perlow is a corporate ethnographer, an anthropologist of corporate culture. Anthropologists like Margaret Mead spend years in the field studying exotic cultures. Perlow does the same, although the field for her is the office and the exotic people are us—those who work in the world of organizations. But the end result is no less surprising or rich in insight. Whether it’s a Fortune 500 firm, small business, or government bureaucracy, Perlow provides a keen understanding of the hidden issues behind what people say (and don’t say). And more important, she shows how to create relationships where individuals feel empowered to express their genuine thoughts and feelings and to harness the power of positive conflict.
A practical three-step method for saying no in any situation—without losing the deal or the relationship, from the author of Possible and Getting Past No “In this wonderful book, William Ury teaches us how to say No—with grace and effect—so that we might create an even better Yes.”—Jim Collins, author of Good to Great In The Power of a Positive No, William Ury of Harvard Law School’s Program on Negotiation teaches you how to take the next step toward getting what you want. It all begins with the most powerful and perhaps most important word in any situation: No. But saying the wrong kind of No can destroy what we value and alienate others. That’s why saying No the right way—to people at work, at home, and in our communities—is crucial. You’ll learn how to: • Assert your own interests while respecting the other side’s • Use power effectively • Defuse the other side’s attack, manipulation, and guilt tactics • Reduce stress and anxiety • Develop healthier relationships • Stand up for yourself without stepping on the other person’s toes In today’s world of high stress and limitless choices, the pressure to give in and say Yes grows greater every day, producing overload and overwork, expanding e-mail and eroding ethics. Never has No been more needed. And with The Power of a Positive No, we can learn how to use No to profoundly transform our lives by enabling us to say Yes to what counts—our own needs, values, and priorities.
Yes, you can learn to say what you mean and mean what you say. This bestselling guide has already transformed thousands of lives—and can change your as well. The authors’ pioneering Assertiveness Training Technique can help you gain recognition and promotion on the job, renew your marriage, put more zing in your sex life, deal with your children more effectively, and make new friends. Change your life as you learn how to: • Target your own assertiveness difficulties and set your own goals. • Follow your progress with a workshop that gives you step-by-step reinforcement. • Visualize and actualize through exercises designed to perfect new behavior patterns. • Develop self-control that comes from within. • Change habits that keep you from getting what you want in every area of your life.
The creator of "Grey's Anatomy" and "Scandal" details the one-year experiment with saying "yes" that transformed her life, revealing how accepting unexpected invitations she would have otherwise declined enabled powerful benefits.
The urge to say yes, to please everyone around you can be overwhelming. It is not just a matter of being a "nice person." It can be rooted in your desire to maintain your self-image, the product of chronically low self esteem. It may even be the result of situations in which you feel you will gain from constantly saying yes. But the truth in life is that knowing when to say "No" when you usually say "Yes" is one of the most fundamentally important things you can do for yourself and for your relationships. Forcing others to respect you regardless of your positions and to establish a clear and comfortable persona for yourself rely on this ability. This book walks everyone who has ever felt uncomfortable denying something to others through the process of recognizing how you truly feel and tapping into your inner self so that you can relay to others how you truly feel, saying no when necessary and yes only when you truly agree or are willing to do something. You will learn everything you need to know to recognize what it is about your personality that creates a need to say yes. From understanding what it is you want to get out of other people to accepting that you do not need their validation, you will learn how to separate your insecurities from what you really think so that you can start telling people how you truly feel. Learn how to set priorities and therefore know when it is okay to say yes. By understanding the proper time to say yes, you will quickly learn how to tell the times when it is not okay and you must say no. In various interviews with parents, educators, psychologists, and every day citizens, this book provides a complete world view that helps any individual understand what it is about their personality that causes them to consistently say yes when they should not. You will ultimately learn what it means to give in and what the psychological results are of making these decisions repeatedly. For anyone who has ever found themselves unhappy due to constant willingness to sacrifice their own happiness, this book is for you. Atlantic Publishing is a small, independent publishing company based in Ocala, Florida. Founded over twenty years ago in the company president's garage, Atlantic Publishing has grown to become a renowned resource for non-fiction books. Today, over 450 titles are in print covering subjects such as small business, healthy living, management, finance, careers, and real estate. Atlantic Publishing prides itself on producing award winning, high-quality manuals that give readers up-to-date, pertinent information, real-world examples, and case studies with expert advice. Every book has resources, contact information, and web sites of the products or companies discussed.
Find hope even in these dark times with this rediscovered masterpiece, a companion to his international bestseller Man’s Search for Meaning. Eleven months after he was liberated from the Nazi concentration camps, Viktor E. Frankl held a series of public lectures in Vienna. The psychiatrist, who would soon become world famous, explained his central thoughts on meaning, resilience, and the importance of embracing life even in the face of great adversity. Published here for the very first time in English, Frankl’s words resonate as strongly today—as the world faces a coronavirus pandemic, social isolation, and great economic uncertainty—as they did in 1946. He offers an insightful exploration of the maxim “Live as if you were living for the second time,” and he unfolds his basic conviction that every crisis contains opportunity. Despite the unspeakable horrors of the camps, Frankl learned from the strength of his fellow inmates that it is always possible to “say yes to life”—a profound and timeless lesson for us all.
Details a five-step process for learning how to communicate effectively in order to improve health, strengthen relationships, and reduce stress, while becoming comfortable with having honest exchanges.
Stop negative thoughts, assuage anxiety, and live in the moment with these fun, easy games from improv expert Clay Drinko. If you’ve been feeling lost lately, you’re not alone! Even before the Covid-19 pandemic, Americans were experiencing record levels of loneliness and anxiety. And in our current political turmoil, it’s safe to say that people are looking for new tools to help them feel more present, positive, and in sync with the world. So what better way to get there than play? In Play Your Way Sane, Dr. Clay Drinko offers 120 low-key, accessible activities that draw on the popular principles of improv comedy to help you tackle your everyday stress and reconnect with the people around you. Divided into twelve fun sections, including “Killing Debbie Downer” and “Thou Shalt Not Be Judgy,” the games emphasize openness, reciprocation, and active listening as the keys to a mindful and satisfying life. Whether you’re looking to improve your personal relationships, find new meaning at work, or just survive our trying times, Play Your Way Sane offers serious self-help with a side of Second City sass.
Are you tired of living with the stress of an overwhelmed schedule and aching with the sadness of an underwhelmed soul? Do you find yourself unable to say no even when you should? Are you stuck under the weight of endless demands and responsibilities? The good news is: it doesn't have to be this way. In The Best Yes, New York Times bestselling author Lysa TerKeurst guides you through the insightful lessons she's learned about what it means to live out the purpose that God has in store for you. Lysa demonstrates the incredible power of two words--yes and no--and the way that these simple, daily decisions can shape the story of our lives. Lysa has learned firsthand that there's a big difference between saying yes to everyone and saying yes to God. Drawing from applicable scriptures and her own personal experiences, Lysa teaches us that if we know and believe that God has a plan for each of us, we'll live it out--serving as living proof of His never-ending grace and kindness. Throughout The Best Yes, Lysa will give you the practical tools you need to: Stop people-pleasing by embracing a biblical understanding of love Escape the guilt of disappointing others by learning the secret of the small no Overcome the agony of hard choices by grounding your decisions in wisdom Grow closer to God as you sharpen your own discernment Learn to be intentional with your time, your choices, and yourself Incorporate the Best Yes as a filter for your daily decision making If we take time to slow down and rise above the rush of the world's endless demands, we can rest assured that God's wisdom will help us make decisions that will still be good tomorrow. No matter what season of life you find yourself in, you deserve the chance to make decisions that bring out the best you.
You’ve heard the expression, “It’s the little things that count.” Research has shown that little daily practices can change the way your brain works, too. This book offers simple brain-training practices you can do every day to protect against stress, lift your mood, and find greater emotional resilience. Just One Thing is a treasure chest of over fifty practices created specifically to deepen your sense of well-being and unconditional happiness. Just one practice each day can help you: Be good to yourself Enjoy life as it is Build on your strengths Be more effective at home and work Make peace with your emotions