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This authoritative guide to explaining the tragic life of individuals addicted to sex, offers helpful information to their partners who struggle with it.
This practical guide helps spouses to understand what drives sexual addiction and how to find healing after betrayal. When Jason Martinkus confessed his infidelity to his wife, Shelley, she wasn’t sure she could ever trust him again. Together they began a difficult but redemptive journey of understanding sexual addiction. In this book, Jason and Shelley join Stephen Arterburn to address the following: What sexual addiction is and how to know if someone is addicted How to understand the roller coaster of post betrayal emotions Guidance in developing boundaries What to do if a spouse doesn’t want to recover This is a valuable resource for anyone who loves someone addicted to sex or pornography.
With the revised information and up-to-date research, Out of the Shadows is the premier work on sex addiction, written by a pioneer in its treatment. Sex is at the core of our identities. And when it becomes a compulsion, it can unravel our lives. Out of the Shadows is the premier work on this disorder, written by a pioneer in its treatment. Revised and updated to include the latest research--and to address the exploding phenomenon of cybersex addiction--this third edition identifies the danger signs, explains the dynamics, and describes the consequences of sexual addiction and dependency. With practical wisdom and spiritual clarity, it points the way out of the shadows of sexual compulsion and back into the light and fullness of life.
Sexual addiction and compulsive sexual behavior often steal a person's ability to achieve emotional or sexual intimacy. Both addicts and their partners may suffer in isolation, ashamed and afraid, not knowing where to turn for help. Your Sexually Addicted Spouse shatters that stigma and shame and provides understanding and empathy for the addict and his or her spouse. Barbara Steffens' groundbreaking research was the first to show that partners are not codependents but post-traumatic stress victims, while Marsha Means' personal experience provides insights, strategies, and critical steps to recognize, deal with, and heal partners of sexually addicted relationships. Firsthand accounts and stories reveal the impact of this addiction on survivors' lives. Chapters end with "On a Personal Note" questions and propose new paths that lead from trauma to empowerment, health, and hope. Useful appendices list health and mental health care providers and clergy. Barbara Steffens, PhD, LPCC, CCPS, CPC specializes in helping women recover from sexual betrayal and is a sought-after speaker and presenter on special issues related to partners of sexual addicts. She was the founding President of the Association for Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists, an organization that provides training and certification of Clinical Partner Specialists and Partner Trauma Coaches. She has counseled and coached betrayed spouses/partners for over twenty years and her research on trauma after betrayal has changed the field. Barbara also consults with other professionals and provides training for those who want to help partners heal. Marsha Means, MA, founder and director of A Circle of Joy Ministries, is trained as a Marriage and Family Therapist, and writes and speaks on the topic of betrayal trauma and sex addiction. Her work is based on both her personal and professional experience. She has written several books on the topic. Marsha and her team of coaches offer individual and group support for partners of sex addicts. In addition, Marsha facilitates couple's groups to help them learn to heal the damage done by betrayal trauma.
2. What is a Sex and Love Addiction? Definition of Addiction, The High, Tolerance, Dependence, Craving, Withdrawal, Obsession, Compulsion, Secrecy, Personality Change, Getting It All Together: Diagnostic Criteria. 3. The Disease Concept of Addictions: Competing Theories of Addictions, The Disease Model of Addiction, The Disease of Sex and Love Addiction, Severity of Sex and Love Addictions. 4. Short-Term Treatment and Recovery: Twelve-Step Programs - H.O.W., Bottom Lines and Triggers, Secrecy, Why Me?, Masks and Attitudes, Relapse and Relapse Prevention. 5. Long-Term Treatment and Recovery: Self-Affirmation, Support Systems, Families, Boundaries, Nurturing and Discipline, PTSD, Healthy Intimacy.
Like other psychiatric disorders, sexual addiction is a condition that affects peoples' relationships with others as much as it affects their own mental state. Individuals suffering from sexual addiction typically pursue sex through any means possible and often engage in risky forms of sexual activity such as exhibitionism, promiscuous sex with multiple partners, online sex, etc. It's easy to see how a couple's relationship may be challenged by the manifestations and reality of a disorder like this one. A Couple's Guide to Sexual Addiction discusses common relationship issues within the context of sexual addiction and provides the reader with exercises, information, and advice on the following topics: Trust Communication Healthy sexuality & sexual behaviors Family By understanding the reality of sexual addiction and what it means for a relationship, couples will be able to better relate to each other and plan for a successful future.
In Love and Addiction, published 40 years ago and sold as a mass-market paperback on love, Stanton Peele and Archie Brodsky laid out every major issue confronting the addiction field today. This pioneering classic, which was excerpted in Cosmopolitan and spawned the codependence movement, is the first-and still the definitive-book on addictive love. But it is much more than that; it is the book that explains why addiction is not what we think it is. Love and Addiction focuses on dependent love relationships to explore what both love and addiction really are-psychologically, socially, and culturally. Addiction is an overgrown, dependent, destructive relationship. Love is the opposite, a sharing, growth-inspiring one. The authors' analysis makes clear that an addiction is an experience that takes on meaning and power in light of a person's needs, desires, beliefs, expectations, and fears. By showing how addiction grows out of ordinary human experience, Peele and Brodsky offer a liberating understanding of all addictions-to alcohol, drugs, tobacco, food, gambling, shopping, electronic media, sex, or love. In 1975, Love and Addiction boldly proposed ideas whose truth is only now being recognized: Addiction is not limited to drugs, and drugs are not necessarily addictive. AA's 12 steps are not the last word in addiction treatment. On the contrary, practically oriented addiction treatments are more effective. The goal of addiction treatment and recovery is not abstinence to the exclusion of all else, but to build a life that rules out addiction. Love is the opposite of the self-protective constriction of addiction; it is the expansion of your spirit with another human being. Remarkably, all of these issues-the widespread application of the addiction diagnosis, the limited value of AA and its disease theory, the possibility that people can continue using but still eliminate addiction (harm reduction)-are as hotly debated today as when Peele and Brodsky first analyzed addiction forty years ago. Most remarkably of all, the answers Peele and Brodsky arrived at in Love and Addiction are only now being embraced by progressive thinkers in the field. "Destined to become a classic " Psychology Today proclaimed in 1975. Rereading Love and Addiction 35 years later, addiction researcher Rowdy Yates wrote that the book "still reads absolutely true as an understanding of addictive behavior." Reading today this clairvoyant analysis of the most challenging issues we face in the twenty-first century-the meaning of love and the cure for addiction-you will recognize both the current relevance and enduring value of Love and Addiction, now reissued with a new (2015) Authors' Preface, the Authors' Preface written for the 1991 paperback reissue, and a brief new introduction to each chapter. Otherwise, nothing has been changed in the original book.
A brilliant new guide to understanding the origins of codependence and the path to recovery by a nationally recognized authority on dependency and addiction. In this fresh new look at codependence, Pia Mellody traces the origins of this illness back to childhood, describing a whole range of emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical, and sexual abuses. Because of these earlier experiences, codependent adults often lack the skills necessary to lead mature lives and have satisfying relationships. Recovery from codependence comes from clearing up the toxic feelings left over from childhood and learning to reparent oneself by intervening on the adult symptoms of codependence. Central to Mellody's concept is the idea of the "precious child" that needs healing within each adult. She creates a framework for identifying codependent behavior and describes an effective approach to recovery that includes both therapy and self-help processes. Designed to be used with her new workbook for codependents, Breaking Free, this is a powerful tool for understanding the nature of codependence.
When your partner betrays, what are the first steps to picking up the pieces of your shattered heart? Many unsuspecting people wake up every day to discover their loved one, the one person whom they are supposed to trust completely, has been living a life of lies and deceit because they suffer from a disease-sex addiction. This is a disease shrouded in secrecy and shame. This is your go-to-guide for what to do when you discover your partner is a sex addict. Each chapter is based on frequently asked questions by partners such as: Should I Stay or Should I Go? Is This Going to Get Better? How Do I Set Boundaries and Keep Myself Safe? and What Should I Tell the Kids?
Daily reflections for those searching for lasting recovery from sex addiction. The supportive and motivational thoughts in this bestselling collection of daily readings promise to spark the healing, hope, and personal growth anyone addicted to sex needs to embrace recovery. Part of the Hazelden Meditation series, each thought of the day inspires the strength, courage, and mindfulness readers need to overcome patterns of sexual compulsion. Featuring 366 affirmations that complement any Twelve Step program for love addiction or an unhealthy dependence on sexual behavior, this book will become the touchstone to your transformation.