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A powerful memoir about the joys and pains of making a family. In 2008, Ann and Dan made the life-altering decision to start a family. In their mid-forties and inspired by various stories that they had heard, the couple decided to adopt special needs children through foster care. Not wanting to separate siblings, Ann and Dan’s family eventually grows to seven, first with the adoption of Jimmy and Ruby, and then Jason, Susie, and Anthony. But, the transition was not without its challenges. The children, aged five to ten years old, had been neglected, abused, and diagnosed with behavioral, cognitive, medical, and psychiatric conditions, none of which could be treated medically. Their first months in their new home were intense, overwhelming, and on occasion, violent. With numerous outbursts and incidents, Ann and Dan’s patience and resolve were constantly tested. But slowly, when surrounded with stability, warmth, compassion, and love, the children settled in and became a family. Poignant and heartfelt, We Adopted Five Special-Needs Foster Kids is for any reader who has ever been part of a family.
A powerful memoir about the joys and pains of making a family--with a new epilogue! In 2008, Ann and Dan made the life-altering decision to start a family. In their mid-forties and inspired by various stories that they had heard, the couple decided to adopt special needs children through foster care. Not wanting to separate siblings, Ann and Dan’s family eventually grows to seven, first with the adoption of Jimmy and Ruby, and then Jason, Susie, and Anthony. But, the transition was not without its challenges. The children, aged five to ten years old, had been neglected, abused, and diagnosed with behavioral, cognitive, medical, and psychiatric conditions, none of which could be treated medically. Their first months in their new home were intense, overwhelming, and on occasion, violent. With numerous outbursts and incidents, Ann and Dan’s patience and resolve were constantly tested. But slowly, when surrounded with stability, warmth, compassion, and love, the children settled in and became a family.
“Kids are important… They need safe places to live, and safe places to play.” For some kids, this means living with foster parents. In simple words and full-color illustrations, this book explains why some kids move to foster homes, what foster parents do, and ways kids might feel during foster care. Children often believe that they are in foster care because they are “bad.” This book makes it clear that the troubles in their lives are not their fault; the message throughout is one of hope and support. Includes resources and information for parents, foster parents, social workers, counselors, and teachers.
“Toni walks us through the experience of having foster children with undiagnosed mental illness . . . moving and heart-wrenching” (Marcia Stein, PHR, CA, author of Strained Relations). As an infant, Daniel entered the foster care system as a result of severe neglect, which manifested in violence and aggression later in his childhood after he was adopted by Jim and Toni Hoy. Desperate to get him into a residential treatment center and keep their other children safe, Jim and Toni were given two options by the state of Illinois: either keep him in a psychiatric hospital or be charged by the Department of Children and Family Services with child endangerment for failure to protect their other children. Mental health professionals recommended abandoning Daniel at the hospital after the state denied all viable sources of funding for his treatment. So Daniel re-entered the foster care system for no other reason than he was mentally ill. A year later, Daniel’s mother discovered that his treatment was covered by a funding source that he was awarded as part of his special needs adoption. How could they get the state government to understand the federal law and re-gain custody of their son? Second Time Foster Child is the story of parents who never gave up on their son, despite being prosecuted and persecuted in exchange for his medically necessary treatment. “Toni Hoy bares her soul in this courageous true story of her family’s journey to help and heal her severely traumatized adopted son.” —Michael Groomer, founder, and Beverly Hansen, executive director, Advocates for Children of Trauma
"Birthdays may be difficult for me." "I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family." "When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hang in there with me." "I am afraid you will abandon me." The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame. With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the twenty complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love--that he must grieve his loss now if he is to receive love fully in the future--that she needs honest information about her birth family no matter how painful the details may be--and that although he may choose to search for his birth family, he will always rely on you to be his parents. Filled with powerful insights from children, parents, and experts in the field, plus practical strategies and case histories that will ring true for every adoptive family, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew is an invaluable guide to the complex emotions that take up residence within the heart of the adopted child--and within the adoptive home.
This comprehensive guide provides specific parenting strategies for the growing number of people who adopt children over two years old. Parents learn to identify their child's needs, meet such challenges as aggressive behavior and attention deficit disorder, and create a sense of belonging.
All families change over time. Sometimes a baby is born, or a grown-up gets married. And sometimes a child gets a new foster parent or a new adopted mom or dad. Children need to know that when this happens, it’s not their fault. They need to understand that they can remember and value their birth family and love their new family, too. Straightforward words and full-color illustrations offer hope and support for children facing or experiencing change. Includes resources and information for birth parents, foster parents, social workers, counselors, and teachers.
There are great rewards that come along with being a foster parent, yet there are also great challenges that can leave you feeling depleted, alone, and discouraged. The many burdens of a foster parent's day--hurting children, struggling biological parents, and a broken system--are only compounded by the many burdens of a foster parent's heart--confusion, anxiety, heartache, anger, and fear. With the compassion and insight of a fellow foster parent, Jamie C. Finn helps you see your struggles through the lens of the gospel, bringing biblical truths to bear on your unique everyday realities. In these short, easy-to-read chapters, you'll find honest, personal stories and practical lessons that provide encouragement and direction from God's Word as you walk the journey of foster parenting.
On one memorable day, while Bishop Martin and his wife, Donna, were in prayer together, God gave them a one-word message: "Adopt!" Over the next five years, the Martins would adopt four kids. Others in their church community have heard the call and have now adopted 72 children.
The church across North America has struggled to minister effectively with children, teens, and adults with common mental health conditions and their families. One reason for the lack of ministry is the absence of a widely accepted model for mental health outreach and inclusion. In Mental Health and the Church: A Ministry Handbook for Including Children and Adults with ADHD, Anxiety, Mood Disorders, and Other Common Mental Health Conditions, Dr. Stephen Grcevich presents a simple and flexible model for mental health inclusion ministry for implementation by churches of all sizes, denominations, and organizational styles. The model is based upon recognition of seven barriers to church attendance and assimilation resulting from mental illness: stigma, anxiety, self-control, differences in social communication and sensory processing, social isolation and past experiences of church. Seven broad inclusion strategies are presented for helping persons of all ages with common mental health conditions and their families to fully participate in all of the ministries offered by the local church. The book is also designed to be a useful resource for parents, grandparents and spouses interested in promoting the spiritual growth of loved ones with mental illness.