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How might it happen that a boy of five or six would be tortured by the question of the existence of God? How would this happen, even if that boy were raised to be an atheist by atheist parents? If the boy was never baptized and never taken to church? Was never told about any religion? This book records the spiritual autobiography of a boy who, raised in a household which discouraged belief in anything religious, nevertheless came at a young age to worry about the place of God in his life and family, and suffered from intense fears that he would be condemned to hell because he had not been baptized. Looking back, here is the way the author describes his early years: "I grew up in a household with no place for God or religion. My mother and father were atheists. They did not believe in any divinities, and certainly not in the divinity of Jesus. Perhaps like some of their intellectual friends, they dismissed the idea that Jesus of Nazareth ever existed. This was in America in the 1930's and 40's, a time when scientists and intellectuals challenged the claims of Christianity. For my parents the questions of who Jesus was and whether he had actually walked the earth were irrelevant. "Is there a God in heaven? Is creation a gift to us from God? Does God love and care for his children? These were not questions my parents would entertain. Such statements had been denounced as meaningless by the scientists and the rationalists, who insisted that all discussions of God are pointless." The author recalls his childhood swept by the cold winds of atheism as especially painful because his mother, suffering from the loss of meaning of the atheist's vision, sank into a deep depression and then into madness. She suffered a series of nervous breakdowns and spent most of the author's early years in and out of mental hospitals. As a child the author felt "spiritually bankrupt." He felt he "counted for little in my parents' world. I counted for even less in the larger world. I looked out at the vast universe that the scientists described and saw it as a frightening place. Darkness and frozen space extended for millions of miles in all directions, and there was nothing out there to comfort us or give our lives meaning." The author was born into the Great Depression and went off to grammar school during World War II, both events exerting a terrible impact on his family, contributing to his mother's mental imbalance and his own feelings of insecurity. "I was four years old," the author writes, "when World War II began. As the war grew more widespread and destructive, I watched with terror the newsreel reports of Nazi bombings. I listened horrified to the newscasts on the radio. Every week fresh issues of Time and Life magazines entered our house, and they brought new images of cities in flames or bombed to smoking rubble. There were close-up photos of the dead on the battlefield, of soldiers bleeding to death, of bodies on a beach. "I recall in particular a photo of a boy my age standing in the ruins of his apartment building somewhere in Europe. He looks lost, frightened, and utterly alone. He wonders if his mother, missing since the bombing, is alive in the ruins. Rubble and twisted metal are all that remain of the city street he had called his home. "Turning the pages of that Life magazine, a terrible fear and sorrow seized me. I identified with the boy. I feared what had happened to him would happen to me." The author speaks of how, from a source he could not name, powerful religious emotions, primarily fear of a God of Wrath, took hold of him and "initiated me into a secretive life I kept hidden from my father. The fears were brought into focus when I casually used words that had a religious meaning I didn't understand. The words were these: Cross my heart and hope to die.' "I had heard other kids utter these words when they wanted to impress one another with the truth of an assertion. They often said them when it seemed fairl
A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days “A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. You just want a way out. But there’s hope. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better. Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.
Timing is everything, says St. Paul Daily Dispatch photographer Alan Jeffrey when he's asked why somebody always gets killed when he and Daily Dispatch reporter Warren "Mitch" Mitchell are visiting Martha's Vineyard. Mitch and Al and their cartoonist companion, Dave Jerome, are on the celebrated vacation isle to testify for the prosecution in the trial of identical twins Ima and Ura Jewell, who are accused of murdering Dave's uncle, Walter Jerome. The twins, who were Walter's financial advisers, had also tried to murder this answer-hungry trio after confessing that they'd killed Walter because he'd caught them stealing $500,000 from his account. As the trial of the glamorous twins begins, a new mystery arises when two visitors from St. Paul are shot to death by a professional killer on Grand Illumination Night on the grounds of the historic Martha's Vineyard Camp Meeting Association. While Mitch, Al and Dave puzzle over who hired the killer and why, another shooting takes place in the same Campgrounds cottage. The search to identify the person who paid the killer leads the three friends, who fashion themselves as The Three Musketeers, into a fast and furious deep water boat chase and a too-close encounter with a fast-moving airplane. Meanwhile, the murder trial moves on toward an uncertain verdict as the defense goes on offense against Mitch, Al and Dave.
The Leon Lewis Band is the story of a rock band in the sixties and seventies. It traces the lives of the fascinating characters who comprise the band—the musicians as well as family, friends, and other unique characters they meet along the way. The story is narrated by Jackie Klein, the childhood friend of Leon Lewis. It begins in the working-class Brooklyn neighborhood of the fifties and sixties, which binds the two Jewish boys together as they navigate the anti-Semitism and racist battleground of their inner-city environment. Leon Lewis’s life is deeply impacted by his family—an emotionally disturbed mother, a high-achieving younger sister, and a father who blames his wife for preventing him from achieving his dream of becoming a professional jazz musician. Lee’s family struggles drive him to leave the city as soon as he finishes high school. He takes to the road with his acoustic guitar and musical ability. While Lee is gone, Jackie hooks up with three amazing musicians at Café Flo in Greenwich Village. When Lee returns, now a seasoned troubadour and accomplished musician, he reconnects with Jackie, and the Leon Lewis Band is formed. Along the way, they find a flamboyant country boy, a hippie manager, a smooth café manager, an eccentric concert promotor and recording engineer, and the loves of their lives. Catalina Blake is a sensuous young Latina and a budding, progressive journalist. When she falls in love with Lee, the band’s surprising events ensue. On the behalf of her estranged father, a talented artist, she finds herself on a dangerous mission to Central America, where her family secrets intersect with Lee and the band and with the ghosts from Lee’s old neighborhood.
Adam Silvera reminds us that there’s no life without death and no love without loss in this devastating yet uplifting story about two people whose lives change over the course of one unforgettable day. #1 New York Times bestseller * 4 starred reviews * A School Library Journal Best Book of the Year * A Kirkus Best Book of the Year * A Booklist Editors' Choice * A Bustle Best YA Novel * A Paste Magazine Best YA Book * A Book Riot Best Queer Book * A Buzzfeed Best YA Book of the Year * A BookPage Best YA Book of the Year On September 5, a little after midnight, Death-Cast calls Mateo Torrez and Rufus Emeterio to give them some bad news: They’re going to die today. Mateo and Rufus are total strangers, but, for different reasons, they’re both looking to make a new friend on their End Day. The good news: There’s an app for that. It’s called the Last Friend, and through it, Rufus and Mateo are about to meet up for one last great adventure—to live a lifetime in a single day. In the tradition of Before I Fall and If I Stay, They Both Die at the End is a tour de force from acclaimed author Adam Silvera, whose debut, More Happy Than Not, the New York Times called “profound.” Plus don't miss The First to Die at the End: #1 New York Times bestselling author Adam Silvera returns to the universe of international phenomenon They Both Die at the End in this prequel. New star-crossed lovers are put to the test on the first day of Death-Cast’s fateful calls.
This book includes Donald Hall, Jack Kerouac, Robert Kelly, Bill Lee, Paul Metcalf, Anne Waldman, Tom Clark, and Bernadette Mayer. The quality of the work in this anthology varies widely, but the sheer unlikeliness of a volume of neo-beat baseball poetry and new-age-inflected essays cannot help but inspire generosity. The photography is remarkable, and the photo essays of baseball stars of the 1950s and 1960s have this awe-inspiring sense of the mundane about them.
Dear Reader,This book is a compilation of words that Christ spoke to me, so that I could pass them along to you. This book is not my own but Christ's, I am merely a servant of Him.I hope this book inspires you to just sit down and listen to what He wants to tell you. Thank you for reading.-Yaeli Popovici
Making it in Hell, says Bruce Jackson, is the spirit behind the sixty-five work songs gathered in this eloquent dispatch from a brutal era of prison life in the Deep South. Through engagingly documented song arrangements and profiles of their singers, Jackson shows how such pieces as "Hammer Ring," "Ration Blues," "Yellow Gal," and "Jody's Got My Wife and Gone" are like no other folk music forms: they are distinctly African in heritage, diminished in power and meaning outside their prison context, and used exclusively by black convicts. The songs helped workers through the rigors of cane cutting, logging, and cotton picking. Perhaps most important, they helped resolve the men's hopes and longings and allowed them a subtle outlet for grievances they could never voice when face-to-face with their jailers.
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A revelatory primer on what it means to be human, from "the perfect guide for a course correction in life" (Deepak Chopra)—and a mind-opening manual of initiation into the central mystery of existence. At the root of human conflict is our fundamental misunderstanding of who we are. The illusion that we are isolated beings, unconnected to the rest of the universe, has led us to view the “outside” world with hostility, and has fueled our misuse of technology and our violent and hostile subjugation of the natural world. To help us understand that the self is in fact the root and ground of the universe, Watts has crafted a revelatory primer on what it means to be human—and a mind-opening manual of initiation into the central mystery of existence. In The Book, Alan Watts provides us with a much-needed answer to the problem of personal identity, distilling and adapting the Hindu philosophy of Vedanta.