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"Among the scores of books concerning divorce, rarely have the voices of the innocent victims--the children--been heard. In Dr. Royko's deeply moving assemblage of the kids' sometimes troubled yet revealing thoughts, we hear them at last" --STUDS TERKEL, author of Working "The silent sounds of family breakups are captured with startling clarity by Dr. David Royko, who helps us to hear the observations and intimate revelations of those who have the least control of the process and who are most affected by it. By giving voice to these silent witnesses, Dr. Royko confirms for us working in the field--lawyers, judges, mediators, social workers, and therapists--the devastating impact of divorce on those least able to cope, and the need for divorcing parents to develop an awareness of the child's perspective." --BENJAMIN S. MACKOFF, former presiding judge of the Cook County Domestic Relations Court and director of family mediation services, Schiller, DuCanto and Fleck "Dr. David Royko's Voices of Children of Divorce provides sage observations from the children who have been the witness of adult folly. The book is truly wonderful in that it allows children with vastly different experiences to share their perspectives with clarity and focus, in the process teaching adults how to better manage divorce." --BENNETT L. LEVENTHAL, M.D., Irving B. Harris Professor of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, University of Chicago "At last we hear from that silent majority, the children, who are always the victims in divorce. Dr. David Royko's collection of their candid observations should move divorcing parents to reevaluate their priorities and their behavior." --JENNY GARDEN, author of The (Almost) Painless Divorce: What Your Lawyer Won't Tell You
Seventy now-adult children of divorce give their candid and often heart-wrenching answers to eight questions (arranged in eight chapters, by question), including: What were the main effects of your parents' divorce on your life? What do you say to those who claim that "children are resilient" and "children are happy when their parents are happy"? What would you like to tell your parents then and now? What do you want adults in our culture to know about divorce? What role has your faith played in your healing? Their simple and poignant responses are difficult to read and yet not without hope. Most of the contributors--women and men, young and old, single and married--have never spoken of the pain and consequences of their parents' divorce until now. They have often never been asked, and they believe that no one really wants to know. Despite vastly different circumstances and details, the similarities in their testimonies are striking; as the reader will discover, the death of a child's family impacts the human heart in universal ways.
Is there really such a thing as a “good divorce”? Determined to uncover the truth, Elizabeth Marquardt—herself a child of divorce—conducted, with Professor Norval Glenn, a pioneering national study of children of divorce, surveying 1,500 young adults from both divorced and intact families between 2001 and 2003. In Between Two Worlds, she weaves the findings of that study together with powerful, unsentimental stories of the childhoods of young people from divorced families. The hard truth, she says, is that while divorce is sometimes necessary, even amicable divorces sow lasting inner conflict in the lives of children. When a family breaks in two, children who stay in touch with both parents must travel between two worlds, trying alone to reconcile their parents’ often strikingly different beliefs, values, and ways of living. Authoritative, beautifully written, and alive with the voices of men and women whose lives were changed by divorce, Marquardt’s book is essential reading for anyone who grew up “between two worlds.” “Makes a persuasive case against the culture of casual divorce.” —Washington Post “A poignant narrative of her own experience . . . Marquardt says she and other young adults who grew up in the divorce explosion of the 1970s and 1980s are still dealing with wounds that they could never talk about with their parents.”—Chicago Tribune
This book presents discourses of divorce and will report and comment on scholarly arguments about divorce in the 21st century. Book is intended for students, practitioners, and scholars interested in divorce in the disciplines of family studies; social, clinical, and developmental psychology; counseling; and family and interpersonal communications.
Adult children are often overlooked and forgotten when their parents divorce later in life, but in these pages they will find comfort and understanding for the many feelings, frustrations, and challenges they face. For more than two decades, a silent revolution has been occurring and creating a seismic shift in the American family and families in other countries. It has been unfolding without much comment, and its effects are being felt across three to four generations: more couples are divorcing later in life. Called the “gray divorce revolution,” the cultural phenomenon describes couples who divorce after the age of 50. Overlooked in the issues that affect couples divorcing later in in life are the adult children of divorcing parents. Their voices open this book, and they are the voices of men and women, 18 to 50 years old. Some of them are single; some are married. Some have children of their own. All of them are in different stages of shock, fear, and sudden, dramatic change. In Home Will Never Be the Same: A Guide for Adult Children of Gray Divorce, Carol Hughes and Bruce Fredenburg share their deep understanding gained during the innumerable hours they have spent with these women and men in their clinical practices. The result is a valuable resource for these too often forgotten adult children, many of whom find that, whenever they express their feelings and experiences, the most important people in their lives frequently ignore and dismiss them. As the divorce rate for older adults soars, so too does the number of adult children who are experiencing parental divorce. Yet, these adult children frequently say that they are the only ones who are aware of what they are going through, no one understands what they are experiencing, and they feel painfully alone.
Family Redefined: A Revealing Look Inside the World of Children of Divorce offers vivid personal accounts from those whose lives are most altered by divorce-the children-starting with their first comprehension of their parents' divorce through to their present lives. The vulnerable stories presented in the book offer insight, hope, and practical tips for anyone who is considering, going through, or has gone through a divorce. In addition to the personal accounts, professionals in the field of marriage and family counseling provide much-needed guidance, direction, and practical advice for divorced parents.
An internationally renowned authority on children and divorce reveals the latest research-based strategies for helping children survive and thrive before, during, and long after their parents divorce. The breakup of a family can have an enduring impact on children. But as Dr. JoAnne Pedro-Carroll explains with clarity and compassion in this powerful book, parents can positively alter the immediate and long-term effects of divorce on their children. The key is proven, emotionally intelligent parenting strategies that promote children's emotional health, resilience, and ability to lead satisfying lives. Over the past three decades, Pedro-Carroll has worked with families in transition, conducted research, and developed and directed award- winning, court-endorsed programs that have helped thousands of families navigate divorce and its aftermath. Now she shares practical, research-based advice that helps parents: -gain a deeper understanding of what their children are experiencing -develop emotionally intelligent parenting strategies with the critical combination of boundless love and appropriate limits on behavior -reduce conflict with a former spouse and protect children from conflict's damaging effects -learn what recent brain research reveals about stress and children's developing capabilities Filled with the voices and drawings of children and the stories of families, Putting Children First delivers a positive vision for a future of hope and healing.
An age appropriate story that navigates the concept of having a Mom's house and a Dad's house. This book takes the negative emotion out of the equation and assures the reader that living in two homes does not make them an outcast. The story emphasizes that a child with two homes is loved by both Mom and Dad no matter what, and that love is what makes each family special.
In this immensely moving book, nineteen boys and girls, from seven to sixteen years old and from highly diverse backgrounds, share with us their deepest feelings about their parents' divorce. By listening to them, all children of divorced parents can find constructive ways to help themselves through this difficult time. And they will learn that their own shock and anger, confusion and pain, have been experienced by others and are normal and appropriate. These boys and girls speak with extraordinary honesty and tolerance, and with a remarkable absence of rationalization, illusion, or attempt to justify their own often-trying behavior in response to their situations. Their stories are immediate and convincing, and their generosity in confiding their feelings should provide comfort to children and parents alike.
Interviews with adult children from the divorced families originally studied in the author's The good divorce, c1994.