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Wise, compassionate advice from one of the nation's most trusted grief counselors to help heal emotional wounds that prevent us from leading fulfilling lives. Renowned grief counselor Stephen Levine tells us that long after an initial loss has passed and the period of grieving has ended an unattended sorrow lingers, accounting for a host of physical, emotional and spiritual maladies. It is not uncommon then for those with unresolved grief to lean toward addictions or dangerous behaviors or other forms of self-destruction. In Unattended Sorrow, Levine addresses the grief from fresh loss but also attends to the pain and troubles caused by the unresolved anguish, sadness and delayed stress than can accumulate over a lifetime. He notes that we may never entirely overcome sorrows but we can confront them with mercy and self-acceptance that smooths the path to healing the heart. “There is no one better to turn to in times of loss than Stephen Levine. This book is an invaluable tool for anyone recovering from any type of major loss. A must, must read.”—Richard Carlson, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff “Stephen’s work is magic. His work with the grieving and dying is among the most skillful and compassionate that I am aware of.”—Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
A guide to confronting and conquering unresolved issues of grief describes the ways unhealed emotional wounds can affect everyday life and offers a series of techniques for approaching and dealing with pain by a veteran grief counselor. 75,000 first printing.
The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and be stretched large by them. As seen on All There Is with Anderson Cooper Noted psychotherapist Francis Weller provides an essential guide for navigating the deep waters of sorrow and loss in this lyrical yet practical handbook for mastering the art of grieving. Describing how Western patterns of amnesia and anesthesia affect our capacity to cope with personal and collective sorrows, Weller reveals the new vitality we may encounter when we welcome, rather than fear, the pain of loss. Through moving personal stories, poetry, and insightful reflections he leads us into the central energy of sorrow, and to the profound healing and heightened communion with each other and our planet that reside alongside it. The Wild Edge of Sorrow explains that grief has always been communal and illustrates how we need the healing touch of others, an atmosphere of compassion, and the comfort of ritual in order to fully metabolize our grief. Weller describes how we often hide our pain from the world, wrapping it in a secret mantle of shame. This causes sorrow to linger unexpressed in our bodies, weighing us down and pulling us into the territory of depression and death. We have come to fear grief and feel too alone to face an encounter with the powerful energies of sorrow. Those who work with people in grief, who have experienced the loss of a loved one, who mourn the ongoing destruction of our planet, or who suffer the accumulated traumas of a lifetime will appreciate the discussion of obstacles to successful grief work such as privatized pain, lack of communal rituals, a pervasive feeling of fear, and a culturally restrictive range of emotion. Weller highlights the intimate bond between grief and gratitude, sorrow and intimacy. In addition to showing us that the greatest gifts are often hidden in the things we avoid, he offers powerful tools and rituals and a list of resources to help us transform grief into a force that allows us to live and love more fully.
Feeling Hurt in Close Relationships presents a synthesis of cutting-edge research and theory on hurt. Being hurt is an inevitable part of close relationships. What varies from relationship to relationship is not whether partners hurt each other, but how their relationship is affected by hurtful episodes. Given the potential influence of hurt feelings on people's interpersonal relationships, it is not surprising that scholars have begun to study the antecedents, processes, and outcomes associated with hurt. This collection integrates the various issues addressed by researchers, theorists, and practitioners who study the causes of hurt feelings, the interpersonal events associated with hurt, and the ways people respond to hurting and being hurt by others. To capture the breadth and depth of the literature in this area, the work of scholars from a variety of disciplines – including social psychology, communication, sociology, and family studies – is highlighted.
Caring for their mothers at the end of their lives and grieving for them after their deaths brought them together. Seven women from diverse racial, cultural, and religious traditions with differing sexual orientations and life experiences became seven "sisters in mourning," meeting to share their grief and to remember together--not only their mothers but themselves as daughters. This book is a rich compilation of narratives that emerged through vulnerable conversations--a spiritual, emotional, and existential exploration of the complexities of caring and grieving. As their grief transformed over time, and their friendship deepened, their understanding of who their mothers were and the nuances of their relationships with them continued to evolve. Sisters in Mourning invites readers to a journey of healing and insight.
What is the greatest, most precious, opportunity that life provides? It is not winning millions in a lottery. Money, fame, intelligence, beauty, a prestigious career, or mere existence will not simply provide us with a good life. We all have the potential to live well, to have a good life, but how can we do so? We can master complex subjects, attain advanced qualifications and demonstrate sound skills; we can become wealthy, and still make a mess of our lives. People can meet the accepted measures of success, yet still not live well. Gough Whitlam, Nelson Mandela, Pete Seeger, Luke Kelly and Ben of Kombi Life are used here to demonstrate the challenges and joyous rewards of living well. They inform, and teach us, that we can also live well when we cultivate awareness; altruism; wholeness of body, mind and spirit; resilience and persistence; passion; empathy; a sense of belonging; personal character; self-knowledge; and life-enhancing habits.
This Book Presents a Paradigm Shift About Toxic Anger: Anger Is An Addiction Using the wisdoms of John Bradshaw, Pia Mellody, Claudia Black, Alice Miller, and many other recovery giants, Verryl grew to understand himself in the context of his past traumas. He was finally able to apply all the theories of these authors to heal his anger and rage. This expansion of theory to the emotion of toxic anger results in a revolutionary new concept of anger as an addiction. This paradigm shift empowers a person to recover from rage as an ill person seeking to be well, as opposed to a bad person trying to act better. Telling yourself you are a bad person is a self-defeating message to your inner self, but an ill person can get well. He presents this new, simple, and enlightened treatment for anger in easy to follow language. Ultimately these conclusions are illustrated as a set of simple diagrams that outline the full path of angers development starting from the core emotion of pain from early losses through raging behavior that is life damaging. Using the revolutionary model of anger as an addiction, he demonstrates that anger can be healed. There is no need to rationally manage toxic anger (while remaining a bad person). Toxic anger practically evaporates as an emotional impulse as the underlying pain is resolved in the good, but ill person. Included: Research survey paper on Anger Management classes by Desiree Harris, M. C.
For most people, the pain of loss dominates their experience of grief. Grief then becomes something to be avoided or completed as quickly as possible. In her new book, Lisa Irish presents grief as our “ally” in the Land of Loss and offers pathways and resources to navigate the confusing and challenging terrain. She explores “conscious grieving,” as she gathers the wisdom of bereavement experts, spiritual leaders and everyday people walking their own individual paths. Lisa encourages us to let seeds of hope find their way into our grieving hearts, to allow self-compassion during the journey, and to trust grief’s healing process. Grieving - The Sacred Art makes a space for love in our sadness and leads us into a Land of Hope.
Rebound after loss, grief, and the other cruel crises life throws your way with this irreverent guide -- the perfect anti-self-help book. Sometimes your foundation crumbles. Sometimes you realize there wasn't a foundation to begin with. Maybe your relationship ended in a breakup or divorce, or you lost your job, or a loved one died. Whatever crisis showed up to screw with you, it brought everything else crashing down, and suddenly life became confusing, disorienting, out of control. A total shit show. You. Need. Help. Therein lies the problem: Traditional self-help guides just aren't for you. You're an individualist, an iconoclast, a follow-your-own-drumbeat kind of person. The typical sunshine-and-rainbows, "live your best life!" books in the "personal growth" aisle aren't going to speak to your worldview -- you need an embrace-your-weirdness vision for growth and rebuilding. Enter Ariel Meadow Stallings, who has experienced a few life catastrophes of her own and emerged from them with newfound clarity and strength. In From Sh!tshow to Afterglow, she offers a lifeline of support and outside-the-box thinking for times of crisis and confusion, sharing plenty of tactical tips for getting your shit together. Along the way, she never lets readers forget that sometimes a life has to be taken apart before it can be put back together better than ever. Without sugar-coating how deeply it sucks to have your world shattered, From Sh!tshow to Afterglow gives readers a reassuring plan to for putting the pieces back together and emerging stronger than ever.
Adult children of alcoholics have learned how to "survive," but often have difficulty "living" their lives. The trauma and grief of childhood losses affect every aspect of the life of an adult child of an alcoholic (ACoA). Now the authors of the bestselling After the Tears offer further insight into the origin and cost of childhood pain for those who grew up in alcoholic families. In this revised and expanded edition, Jane Middelton-Moz and Lorie Dwinell combine their years of experience in working with ACoAs, tackling issues such as intimacy, sibling relationships, codependency, breaking the alcoholic pattern, building a relationship with the inner child, forgiveness, and opening a window to spirituality.