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The ‘Travel Tales Collection, Toilet Stories,’ No. 8, March 2015, is part of Michael Brein’s ‘Collections’ travel tales series and contains among the best travel stories from Michael’s huge collection of travel tales that he has gathered in interviews with nearly 1,750 world travelers and adventurers during his four decades of travel to more than 125 countries throughout the world. ‘Travel Tales Collections’ are groups of very interesting similar travel stories of a kind on a variety of very specific travel subjects, themes, or countries, such as close calls, great escapes, pickpocketing, scams, safety and security in travel, Paris, Morocco, Mexico, and so on. Eventually, several hundred ‘Collections’ on all sorts of specific travel subjects, themes, and countries will be available on all the major eReaders. In the previous issue of ‘Travel Tales Collections,’ No 7 Feb 2015, I included a selection of food and drink experiences that you can have in your travels. Therefore, it is only fitting, after covering food and drink travel stories, that we now turn our attention to what inevitably comes next or later, namely, the subject of toilets in travel. After all, toilet experiences are an unfortunate but essential aspect of living that, like it or no, we all must come to terms with, whether on the home front or in strange exotic foreign lands. Being often beset with culture shock issues almost at every turn, especially in third-world countries, the necessity of dealing with toilets: where to find them, what to do about them, and how to use them even, elicits from many travelers nothing less than abject terror. Thus, for instance, when ‘nature calls,’ and you have barely a clue as to what to do about it or where to go . . . well, for many, it is in the least, horribly anxiety-provoking, and for others nothing less than horrifying and debilitating. For, in the best of all possible worlds—namely, in your home—where you have your bathroom all set up just as you like it, with an ample supply of paper toilet tissue rolls, a great functioning sink, fresh, safe water, nearby reading matter—in a word—you have conveniently all the first-world accouterments for dealing with the art and science of defecation fit for a king or queen, no less, at least in your own private castle, on your own private throne! But what if you find yourself in a third-world outback where you are bluntly faced with nothing but a bare hole in the ground and with NO paper of any kind anywhere in sight? And what if there are piles of human feces and hordes of flies at just about nearly every turn and in every corner? You have the stark realization that you are not in Kansas anymore. Are you of the proper mindset to deal with all of this? Be it as it may, there is, of course, much humor surrounding the subject of toilets in travel and considerable disgust as well. In this issue we pull no punches and deal with the subject of toilets overseas head on! (Pun intended!) They say, that in travel, people often ask the same basic sorts of questions over and over again when they meet for the first time. “Where are you from?” “What do you do?” “Where are you going?” and on and on. It should not be at all surprising, therefore, that one of the typical morning topics of conversation among travelers in the third-world often is—however disgusting and revolting this may be—and maybe the number one or number two (pun intended) things travelers talk about together during their early mornings (I swear this is true!)—whether they've had a good dump or not. Or, “Did, you have diarrhea again?” Or, “Did you drink the water?” It is about all this crap, literally and figuratively; there is no escaping it. Call it all TMI (too much information), but it's about what starts you off on a good or a bad day! And it IS, after all, what you really do talk about! Some of the toilet stories I've gathered are truly hilarious, and some, sad to say, are not! It's a third-world out there, and if you are not prepared for it—BEWARE! The pages in this ebook will make you much more aware! But be forewarned: this ebook is not for the faint of heart. Oh yeah, you will laugh your “okole” (Hawaiian for ‘butt’) off, and, if you're not quite ready for it, it just might dissuade you from really, truly roughing it. However, discouraging you from third-world travel is not my purpose; rather, it is to inform you, enlighten you, and prepare you, somewhat, for the inevitable consequences of drinking the ice or water, eating unpeeled fruits or veggies, eating some street food, or crossing that stream with an open sore, any of which may have some unpleasant and unintended consequences in store for you! My advice to you is this: if you are squeamish about toilets in the third-world, perhaps you should think about making alternate travel plans! In any event, the travel tales of toilets, which follow, should help prepare you for such adventures! When nature calls you and you have NO-where to go or not much of an idea of what you can do about it, well, you will have earned yourself a place in these very pages!
This collection captures the wackiest experiences of writers whose travels took a detour, such as Dave Barry vainly trying to learn more Japanese than how to order a beer, and Mary Roach, who discovers that utilizing an Antarctic outhouse at the very moment a seal chooses to use its opening as a blowhole may not be the best way to start the day.
The ‘Travel Tales Collection, Airplane Stories,’ No. 9, April 2015, is part of Michael Brein’s ‘Collections’ travel tales series and contains among the best travel stories from Michael’s huge collection of travel tales that he has gathered in interviews with nearly 1,750 world travelers and adventurers during his four decades of travel to more than 125 countries throughout the world. ‘Travel Tales Collections’ are groups of very interesting similar travel stories of a kind on a variety of very specific travel subjects, themes, or countries, such as close calls, great escapes, pickpocketing, scams, safety and security in travel, Paris, Morocco, Mexico, and so on. Eventually, several hundred ‘Collections’ on all sorts of specific travel subjects, themes, and countries will be available on all the major eReaders. An airline story is in the news today! And so it goes. There’s hardly a day now that an airline incident of some sort or another is not in the news. We’re taking a lot closer look at air travel these days than ever before. Therefore, as regards the psychology of travel, we should take a much closer look at what actually happens on airplanes. And so, in The Travel Psychologist Travel Tales Series, that's exactly what I do. Air-travel-life stories include the full range of the human air travel experience, from pre-boarding incidents to arrivals; from the cabin to the loo; from the public and private lives of airline personnel as well as passengers—from the pilots to the stews to you—from that which makes us laugh to that which makes us cry, as well as, unfortunately, to that which creates abject fear and terror in the skies. Air travel is now more in the public eye than ever before. Thus, it is no wonder now that regarding the experience of traveling in the skies—like any other aspect of travel—we are not only more circumspect than ever before—we are, on closer view, now much more aware of how air travel is now seen to elicit the full range of the human experience. And in this one particular unique microcosmic window of scrutiny we see that air-travel is but one unique travel environment in a cornucopia of many others, and one that is neither unimportant, insignificant, indistinct, nor independent with respect to the overall experience of travel. Love it, hate it, or simply endure it, the lure of traveling in the skies, whether as just a means to a place or as an end in and of itself, the activity of flying, per se—airplane travel stories not only endure, they are on the increase. Whether you've survived a crash, been bombed by terrorists, been part and parcel of other scares and frights, been harassed upon departure or on arrival, or even laughed yourself stupid on a flight, your tales are memorable, and it is my personal mission that some of them are repeated here! Introduction to Travel Tales of Airplanes: Terror in the Skies! Part 1 Travel Tales of Airplanes: Terror in the Skies! is divided into two parts simply because there is so much material. Part 1 appears here in the current Travel Tales Collection issue No. 9 Apr 2015 and serves as a general introduction to this subject matter. Part 2 The unabridged, expanded forthcoming ebook Travel Tales of Airplanes: Terror in the Skies, part of The Travel Psychologist Travel Tales Series, is a larger volume and includes both Parts 1 and 2. The travel stories in Part 1 consist mainly of the personal air travel tales of Michael Brein (me), the author, plus those of a few other contributors. The travel stories in Part 2 are, largely, the air travel stories of world travelers and adventurers whom I’ve encountered and interviewed all throughout my travels over the last four decades to 125 countries. Mostly, your own air travel will typically be exciting, interesting, and without incident, but odd things can and do happen to you at almost any turn along the way in your travels, and air travel is no exception. Unfortunately, the restricted, constricted, and microcosmic environment of the airplane lends itself sometimes to a variety of episodes illustrating the vagaries of the human temperament and behavior that rear their ugliness on airplanes from time to time, whereby air passengers and crew sometimes act and behave in ways that are often atypical and different from how we normally would behave at home. I hope only peaceful and laughable events happen to you in your air travels. I sincerely hope that the negative travel tales of airplanes do not happen to you in your own travels. If something interesting happens to you in your air travels, you deserve to also be in these pages! Got an interesting travel tale for The Travel Psychologist Travel Tales Series? Please contact Michael Brein at [email protected]. Note: Some stories may be repeated in other eBooks in the series depending on the countries and subjects covered.
Stand back! The tales in this raunchy round-the-world romp might get you dirty. We've all had unspeakable experiences while traveling that we're ashamed to admit, but these often become our best stories in the retelling. The writers in this collection cast inhibition aside and reveal their weirdest and worst moments and how they made the best of them. And memorable moments in exotic destinations come in all shapes and sizes: insects as big as Pam Anderson’s left tit, regrettable sex, stink-eyed officials, horrible healers, Lady Gaga’s shoes and Madonna’s special meal, trigger-happy militants, and peeping Tom rock stars. Adventure vicariously as: Spud Hilton (not Monty Python) finds the Holy Grail by accident. Meghan Ward squats, and then the toilet grunts back, in Goa. Kasha Rigby proved how tough she is on National Geographic’s Ultimate Survival Alaska, but is she a match for a 90-year-old bone breaker in Guatemala? Namibians stereotype Chinese men as Bruce Lee—Gerald Yeung wonders if attacking baboons will do the same. Keph Senett (hoping not to follow in the footsteps of Pussy Riot) braves bombs, police and a Soviet-era sofa bed to play soccer at the LGBT games in Putin’s Russia. Jabba-the-Turd versus Shannon Bradford in an epic showdown in Argentina. And many more….
A new collection of short stories from the woman Rick Moody has called "the best prose stylist in America" Her stories may be literal one-liners: the entirety of "Bloomington" reads, "Now that I have been here for a little while, I can say with confidence that I have never been here before." Or they may be lengthier investigations of the havoc wreaked by the most mundane disruptions to routine: in "A Small Story About a Small Box of Chocolates," a professor receives a gift of thirty-two small chocolates and is paralyzed by the multitude of options she imagines for their consumption. The stories may appear in the form of letters of complaint; they may be extracted from Flaubert's correspondence; or they may be inspired by the author's own dreams, or the dreams of friends. What does not vary throughout Can't and Won't, Lydia Davis's fifth collection of stories, is the power of her finely honed prose. Davis is sharply observant; she is wry or witty or poignant. Above all, she is refreshing. Davis writes with bracing candor and sly humor about the quotidian, revealing the mysterious, the foreign, the alienating, and the pleasurable within the predictable patterns of daily life.
Leave the Lipstick, Take the Iguana is the ninth book in the best-selling Travelers' Tales humor series, which began with There's No Toilet Paper on the Road Less Traveled and blossomed into the now classic "underwear" women's humor series, including the top sellers Sand in My Bra and More Sand in My Bra. This laugh-out-loud collection will resonate with experienced travelers and novices alike and includes hilarious misadventures with packing, travel fashion, border crossings, language faux pas, weird encounters with exotic cuisine, and romantic overtures abroad.
Michael Brein’s Travel Tales Collections is a monthly bookazine release of three very interesting similar travel stories of a kind on a variety of very specific travel subjects, themes, or countries, such as close calls, great escapes, scams, wildlife, Paris, Morocco, Mexico, and so on. Collections are small groups of similar travel tales making their way into ebooks in The Travel Psychologist Travel Tales eBook Series. Say, for example, you are interested in the subject of pickpockets. You'll read in the 'Collection' on pickpocketing several travel stories about how several people dealt with pickpockets in their travels. So, are you maybe Interested in specific travel stories about France, African safaris, safety and security overseas, mystical experiences, rogues and characters, ghosts and the paranormal, the Cold War Soviet Union, 'from hell' travel tales, or what have you? Eventually, there will be up to several hundred Collections on an extensive variety of very interesting travel subjects and themes to choose from. Simply select any Collections that suit your specific travel interests. You wouldn’t believe the incredible stories people have told me about their travels. These are—simply stated—great stories! Travel Tales Collections No. 2 Sep 2014: The USSR 1 Michael Brein’s Travel Tales Collection, The USSR 1, features three wild travel tales of unbelievable things that could have happened to you during the old Cold War Soviet Union communist era. These are—simply stated great stories! Of course, there are always the usual, typical, expected sorts of Eastern Europe (a la the Cold War) experiences. But there are also those incredible unexpected surprises that become all the more memorable just because they are so unique! The Travel Tales Collection, The USSR 1, features three Cold War, communist era Soviet Union stories of international intrigue in the form of spies, the KGB, the Secret Police, and even bugged hotel rooms. Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you! The Travel Tales Collection, The USSR 1, is part of Michael Brein’s Collections travel tales series and contains among the best travel stories from Michael’s huge collection of travel tales that he has gathered in interviews with nearly 1,750 world travelers and adventurers during his four decades of travel to more than 125 countries throughout the world. Travel Tales Collections are groups of three or more very interesting similar travel stories of a kind on a variety of very specific travel subjects, themes, or countries, such as close calls, great escapes, pickpocketing, scams, safety and security in travel, Paris, Morocco, Mexico, and so on. Eventually, several hundred Collections on all sorts of specific travel subjects, themes, and countries will be available on the Kindle. Future Collections of Soviet Union and Russia travel stories will include additional travel stories on both the earlier Soviet Union era as well as the post Cold War Russian Federation.
Rife with misadventures, brushes with death, and moments of existential insight, The End of the World Notwithstanding is a hilarious yet reflective look at the emotional experiences that make everyday life exciting--and the physical ones that remind us we're lucky to be alive. I'm traveling alone, renting a cabin at a normally tranquil spot--that's called foreshadowing--on the banks of the Big Laramie River at the edge of the Medicine Bow National Forest. So begins Janna L. Goodwin's lighthearted collection of nail-biting stories, all true, and all of which fill the listener with wonder ... as in, "I wonder how any of us survives?" Encounters with wildfire, insects, house pets, weather, gravity, predators, bullies, and the most potent force of all--fear itself--unfold in remote landscapes of the American West (and Midwest); on the neon-splashed sidewalks of Hollywood; at a Catskills summer camp for actors; in the lavish apartment of a famous senator; in a Hawaiian beach condo; on the side of a mountain above the Mediterranean Sea; and far beneath the streets of Paris. Goodwin looks for and ultimately finds meaning (if not security) in a clear-eyed acknowledgment of our shared, human condition--and in laughter.
Travel Tales: Toilet Stories is all about taking care of your daily business as best you can -- doing your daily duty, so to speak... finding and using toilets and the like -- in your travels. No matter where you are traveling to, no matter what you are doing, and no matter who you are when Nature calls, you had better answer. Talking about your bathroom needs is, indeed, one of the top ten daily topics discussed by fellow travelers among one another when they meet and talk and trade stories. Whether you are just a tourist or a seasoned traveler, rich or poor, old or young... King or pauper, no matter what and who you are, everyone shares this one absolute necessity in common of attending to your daily toilet needs post haste. Nature calls but waits for no one! Being under the weather toilet-wise definitely puts a damper on things -- on every thing! One thing is for sure, if you do not have your bathroom and toilet ducks all lined up in a row, you will for sure be dead in the water. Of course, there is much disdain and disgust expressed by travelers in regard to their daily bathroom needs, especially the often gory details! No one really wants particularly to have to talk about it. But one thing is for sure whether or not you are a seasoned traveler or one of the world's truly great adventurers, when it comes to bathrooms and such, you had better have your act together! Last but not least, despite how disgusting tales of travelers' accounts of dealing with their number "ones" and their number "twos" may be, there are nonetheless many riotous accounts of toilet stories, too. Some of the funniest travel stories are about this very subject matter. This book collects the variety of interesting situations travelers and residents sometimes find themselves in especially in regard to their daily toilet experiences and encounters. This book includes the true tales of the sorts of things that you might expect to occur when Nature just does happen to call you -- and know this for sure: Mother Nature will call you, sooner or later, sometimes even when you least expect it and often when you are not in a particularly appropriate space either to deal with it. You may very well be surprised when -- not IF -- Nature calls and you are just not prepared at that very instant to best deal with it. Nature cares not who you are, where you are, or what you are doing -- when Nature does call you you had better be prepared to deal with it right there and then on the spot!
Imagine, if you will, you're traveling through the unknown, hellbound, with no roadmap or stars to guide you. The light fades as you descend into a shadow realm where supernatural terrors make their lair and evil lurks at every turn. Here, dead things don't always stay dead, for this is a world where things that shouldn't be? are, and things that should be are not. In this world, it takes between 2,500 and 4,000 reading words to pay a visit to the smallest, but terrifyingly necessary, room, and stories are written precisely to chill the bones as you wait for nature to make its call. You open up the book, and one of the 32 tales skulking within its hellish pages chooses you?It's too late to turn back now.You are about to set foot into another dimension, so best watch out for that signpost up ahead...You've just crossed over into...