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Everyone wants to know the secret to getting and staying married. Research shows that married people are healthier than their single or divorced peers and that they tend to make more money and to report being far happier. But how to get there? In this special edition of TIME, we reveal:The new research on attraction and desire: what stokes it and what whittles it awayThe latest science on how a secure attachment to a spouse can measurably change your brain and protect your body from stressGreat advice from literature on love and commitmentWhat a healthy sex life looks likeThe one trait every marriage needsMoney moves every couple should makeWhy the divorce rate is at a 30-year low
“The most credible and interesting marital self-help book of all time.”—Newsweek Editor of The Washington Post's Wellness Department and former New York Times columnist Tara Parker-Pope is one of the most popular and e-mailed journalists in the nation. In this eye-opening—and ultimately optimistic—look at marriage today, Parker-Pope reveals the heart behind the statistics to bust the myths and share the true secrets to marital happiness. Among her surprising findings: • most marriages today are succeeding • newlywed couples who don't fight are at a higher risk for divorce than those who do • how couples divide household chores influences how often they have sex Whatever their stage of life or marital status, readers will be fascinated and buoyed by this classic in the making.
Do you think that getting married makes people happier and healthier and better off in all sorts of other psychological and interpersonal ways? Do you think that these are not just beliefs, but facts based on scientific research? No wonder. Celebrated scholars and authors such as Dan Gilbert and Dan Buettner have been telling us that. Judicial decisions point to those claims. Popular media narratives depend on them. There's just one problem: What we all think we know just isn't so. In THE SCIENCE OF MARRIAGE, Professor Bella DePaulo explains why these pervasive claims are just plain wrong. Dr. DePaulo is a Harvard Ph.D. with more than 100 scholarly publications. She taught graduate courses in research methods for decades. She is also the most eminent scholar of single life. If you are willing to examine beliefs that perhaps you have never questioned before, and think hard as you consider challenging arguments, read this book.
“After years of debate and inquiry, the key to a great marriage remained shrouded in mystery. Until now...”—Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success Eli J. Finkel's insightful and ground-breaking investigation of marriage clearly shows that the best marriages today are better than the best marriages of earlier eras. Indeed, they are the best marriages the world has ever known. He presents his findings here for the first time in this lucid, inspiring guide to modern marital bliss. The All-or-Nothing Marriage reverse engineers fulfilling marriages—from the “traditional” to the utterly nontraditional—and shows how any marriage can be better. The primary function of marriage from 1620 to 1850 was food, shelter, and protection from violence; from 1850 to 1965, the purpose revolved around love and companionship. But today, a new kind of marriage has emerged, one oriented toward self-discover, self-esteem, and personal growth. Finkel combines cutting-edge scientific research with practical advice; he considers paths to better communication and responsiveness; he offers guidance on when to recalibrate our expectations; and he even introduces a set of must-try “lovehacks.” This is a book for the newlywed to the empty nester, for those thinking about getting married or remarried, and for anyone looking for illuminating advice that will make a real difference to getting the most out of marriage today.
Full of practical advice, this bestselling book by Nicky and Sila Lee is easy to read and designed to prepare, build, and even mend marriages. The Marriage Book is essential reading for any married or engaged couple. This resource addresses questions like: How can we be happily married to one person for our entire life? How do we resolve conflict? How can we discover and rediscover sexual intimacy? The Marriage Course is a series of seven sessions, designed to help couples invest in their relationship and build a strong marriage. It serves as a bridge between the church and local community by recognizing the need to go beyond the social, as well as physical, walls of the church to help couples with their relationships. Marriage Course is easy to run; the talks are available on DVD (sold separately) and each guest and leader receives a manual. If you enjoy hosting people and have a passion for strengthening family life, you could run a course!
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else. Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
In this playful and informative exploration of the science behind how to choose a great mate, acclaimed relationship psychologist Dr. Ty Tashiro explores how to find enduring love. Dr. Tashiro translates reams of scientific studies and research data into the first book to revolutionize the way we search for love. His research pinpoints why our decision-making abilities seem to fail when it comes to choosing mates and how we can make smarter choices. Dr. Tashiro has discovered that if you want a lifetime of happiness--not just togetherness--it all comes down to how you choose a partner in the first place. With wit and insight, he explains the science behind finding a soul mate and distills his research into actionable tips, including: Why you get only three wishes when choosing your ideal partner. Why most people squander their wishes and end up in unfulfilling relationships. How wishing for the three traits that really matter can help you find enduring love. Illustrated using entertaining stories based on real-life situations and backed by scientific findings from fields such as demography, sociology, medical science and psychology, Dr. Tashiro provides an accessible framework to help singles find their happily-ever-afters.
This thoroughly revised second edition offers a child-centered, international perspective as it urges America to de-stigmatize alternate family forms. In this book's first edition, Philip L. Kilbride showed polygamy as the preferred marriage pattern in most parts of the nonwestern world and explained how plural marriage is surfacing in western countries to address economic and spiritual crises. In Plural Marriage for Our Times: A Reinvented Option? Second Edition, Kilbride and his coauthor, Douglas R. Page, update and enhance this thesis in light of contemporary circumstances, new studies, and current legal debates. This new edition examines plural marriage's benefits for children. It extends the discussion of polygamy and religion, especially the Muslim perspective on marriage and family; considers the illegal polygamy of immigrants; and looks at multiple marriage in African American communities, where "crisis polygamy" is a growing phenomenon. The authors suggest Americans consider plural marriage as a viable practice that can help reduce the divorce rate, better protect women and children, and serve as an alternative to the "fractured family" so prevalent in America today.
A must-read for anyone who has felt they are at a disadvantage simply because they are single or unmarried. Married Americans enjoy over 1,000 benefits and entitlements that are withheld from our non-marital counterparts. Health insurance, immigration rights, tax privileges (such as the estate tax), and hiring policies favor the married. Marriage is subsidized and incentivized by the federal government. Social customs such as blockbuster weddings, subsidized honeymoons, and gifts reserved for wedded couples reify matrimony as a centering norm and further the idea that "marriage is best," a commonplace in popular psychology, where marriage-averse people are often tarred as "commitment-phobes." Despite this blatant and widespread prejudice, non-marital Americans—non-marital people—have not galvanized as a group to demand equality and inclusion. Why? Moving Past Marriage argues that it is because of our troubled relationship to history. As women's history once was, non-marital history has been buried, so that the disenfranchisement that non-marital people share in wedlock-dominated societies, as well as our remarkable, far-ranging achievements, have been hard to spot. In recovering our own history, non-marital people can become self-aware as a group and begin to challenge marriage-centric thinking and practice.