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When you marry, your heart overflows with enthusiasm, exhilaration, and optimism. You can’t wait to start a new life with this one whose mere presence or voice causes an abundance of feel-good neurotransmitters to flood your brain. But soon after, differences in temperament, gender, family of origin, and marital expectations collide. You discover that the characteristics and behaviors you once found attractive in your mate, are now sources of irritation and frustration. Conflict erupts, causing reactivity in your temperament to surface more often. Before long, your dialogue degrades with frequent accusations and debates about perspective. In The Responsive Marriage, Dr. Donald W. Welch shows you the enemy in this fight isn’t your spouse. Unmanaged reactivity, those involuntary and unregulated reactive messages you inadvertently send your spouse when you’re triggered, is the culprit. Using practical tools and methods, sound biblical principles, and scientifically verified practices, he teaches you to recognize reactivity, understand its origin, and work together to eliminate it. Imagine a marriage with these characteristics: • No fights • Full choice and voice expression • Being fully understood • Constant positivity and thanksgiving Too good to be true? Come discover that this kind of marriage is within your reach.
As he revolutionized traditional teaching on hell in the phenomenal New York Times bestseller Love Wins, Rob Bell now transforms how we understand and practice marriage in The Zimzum of Love, co-written with his wife, Kristen. Despite the divorce statistics, people are still committing to each other, instinctively believing and hoping that theirs is a sacred union that will last forever. Yet when these couples encounter problems, they often lack the resources that keep them connected to this greater mystery surrounding marriage. Rob and Kristen Bell introduce a startling new way of looking at marriage, The Zimzum of Love. Zimzum is a Hebrew term where God, in order to have a relationship with the world, contracts, creating space for the creation to exist. In marriage, zimzum is the dynamic energy field between two partners, in which each person contracts to allow the other to flourish. Mastering this field, this give and take of energy, is the secret to what makes marriage flourish. Rob and Kristen Bell are brutally honest about their own struggles, their ups and downs, as together they pass along what matters most for couples. In this wise book, they explore the secret of what makes a happy union—probing the mystery at the heart of the extraordinary emotional connection that binds two people. With his down-to-earth charm, a dose of whimsy, and memorable stories, Rob, writing with his wife Kristen, changes how we consider marriage, providing insight that can help all of us create satisfying and sacred unions of our own.
What exactly does it take to make marriage strong? Ron and Jody Zappia were on the brink of divorce. It was their first year of marriage and already things were falling apart. They desperately searched for anything that would help. And then, suddenly, everything changed. Today, the Zappias lead The Knot Marriage Conference where they present seven transformative principles that saved their marriage. The Marriage Knot teaches these same principles to new audiences. Full of wisdom, humor, and refreshing transparency, The Marriage Knot unpacks the choices successful couples make. Marriage, like a knot, has to be kept tight. Left to itself, it loosens over time and can completely unravel. This highly practical book focuses on the everyday decisions you can make to rejuvenate and restore your marriage. Delving into topics like communication, sex, conflict resolution, and more, it offers the tools you need for life-long marriage health. Whether you’re engaged, newlyweds, or seasoned marriage veterans, this book will help make your marriage strong, no matter what pressures attempt to unravel it.
Although the debate over same-sex marriage in the United States has ended, no one seems to know what lies on the horizon. The conversation about what marriage could be like in the future is no longer confined to academics. In his dissent in Obergefell, Chief Justice Roberts linked the constitutionally-mandated legal recognition of same-sex marriage to the possibility that states may also have to recognize multi-person intimate relationships as well to avoid discriminating against plural marriage enthusiasts. The popularity of television shows like TLC’s Sister Wives and HBO’s Big Love suggests that Americans no longer can be dismissive of the possibility that in the foreseeable future, marriage could, and perhaps should, look very different than it does today. Rather than settling the question of whether states ought to abolish marriage, make it more inclusive, contractual, or call it something else, this book exposes readers to some of the normative, legal, and empirical questions that Americans must address before they can deliberate thoughtfully about whether to keep the marital status quo where monogamy remains privileged. Unlike much of the debate over same-sex marriage, they exchange reasons with one another as they discuss marital reform. This book is for ordinary Americans, their elected representatives, and judges, to help them ultimately decide whether they want to continue to define marriage so narrowly, make it more inclusive to avoid discrimination, or have the state leave the marriage business. This edited, interdisciplinary volume contains eight original contributions, all of which illuminate important but often neglected areas of the topic.
“After years of debate and inquiry, the key to a great marriage remained shrouded in mystery. Until now...”—Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success Eli J. Finkel's insightful and ground-breaking investigation of marriage clearly shows that the best marriages today are better than the best marriages of earlier eras. Indeed, they are the best marriages the world has ever known. He presents his findings here for the first time in this lucid, inspiring guide to modern marital bliss. The All-or-Nothing Marriage reverse engineers fulfilling marriages—from the “traditional” to the utterly nontraditional—and shows how any marriage can be better. The primary function of marriage from 1620 to 1850 was food, shelter, and protection from violence; from 1850 to 1965, the purpose revolved around love and companionship. But today, a new kind of marriage has emerged, one oriented toward self-discover, self-esteem, and personal growth. Finkel combines cutting-edge scientific research with practical advice; he considers paths to better communication and responsiveness; he offers guidance on when to recalibrate our expectations; and he even introduces a set of must-try “lovehacks.” This is a book for the newlywed to the empty nester, for those thinking about getting married or remarried, and for anyone looking for illuminating advice that will make a real difference to getting the most out of marriage today.
Since our first publication of Thriving Marriages, we have given seminars on its content to over 300,000 people across the United States. Two areas emerged that needed further clarification and elaboration: how to make conflict resolution more effective and how to communicate our needs more clearly. As a result, we have rewritten Chapter 10: Solving Conflicts with Wisdom and Respect. The new chapter simplifies the conflict resolution process focusing on the role of Understanding, Validating and Acting, which we refer to as the UVA response. This type of emphathic response allows people to integrate their differences and transform the conflict into an opportunity to grow in their unity. The chapter also includes a new questionnaire which covers the skills required and can be used as a tool to engage in constructive dialogue. For those of you involved in Marriage and Family Life, Religious Education, and Adult Faith Formation ministries, we invite you to include this new edition of Thriving Marriages in your curriculum and ministries as well as our different audio formation materials that accompany it.
“Elements of Good and Happy Marriages” is an excellent and practical tool to help with the “working out” of marriage. It is like a mirror to look into, it will help to reveal the true condition of your marriage, but at the same time it will encourage you and guide you to a Good and Happy Marriage. The quizzes after each chapter are very helpful and they encourage transparency and honesty. It also encourages the couples to read and work through this book together.
This progressive volume takes a nuanced approach to understanding systemic therapies with diverse client populations, leading to culturally responsive therapy. Synthesizing diverse streams of psychology, philosophy, and social theory, chapters focus on cutting-edge issues in couple and family therapy including social justice, power, and privilege in therapy, the role of evidence-based practices, and integrative approaches to couple and family therapy. Each contributor is either a recent immigrant to the U.S. or a person of color, bringing unique personal lenses and experiences to the exploration of the topics. And coverage also makes clear what white therapists need to learn—and unlearn—before they can work responsively with clients of color. This practice-building reference: Combines research with applied knowledge in its treatment of topics. Adapts systemic therapy practice into today’s culturally diverse contexts. Explores themes of power, privilege, and social justice in each chapter. Presents multiculturalism in terms of therapeutic responsiveness. Critiques approaches to systemic therapy with immigrant clients and clients of color. Challenges readers to access deeper concepts and realities of self, other, and trust. Updating familiar takes on cultural competence with both local and global implications, Cross-Cultural Responsiveness and Systemic Therapy describes numerous opportunities for and challenges to couple and family therapy, as well as cross-disciplinary opportunities for incorporating social justice and cultural responsiveness in training and supervision of couple and family therapists.
The interest in marriage and the future of marriage is urgent and increasing. This collection of expert research, analysis and discussion may be the most significant ever assembled on this subject. There are contributions from different continents and cultures; from Roman Catholic, Protestant, Anglican and Orthodox traditions; from theologians and many other professionals - including historians, social theorists, sex therapists, lawyers, psychiatrists and demographers - all in conversation with the idea of Christian marriage.There are introductions to each topical section by Adrian Thatcher: Marriage at the Start of the Millennium, Beginning Marriage, Love and Marriage, The Marriage Relationship, Children and Marriage, Single-Sex Marriage, Ending Marriage - Roman Catholic Perspectives, Ending Marriage - Anglican Perspectives.
The processes of modernization and globalization promise more wealth and health for many people. But they are also a threat to the stability and quality of marriage and family life. This new book -- at once sobering and constructive -- looks at the impact of these processes on marriage and asks what Christianity, in cooperation with other religions, can do to strengthen married life today. Among the deleterious effects of modernization and globalization on marriage are a worldwide drift of men away from the responsibility of parenthood and the tendency of mothers too readily to take on the task of childrearing alone. After looking at recent research on these and other problems, Don Browning suggests that the cure for modern marital disruption entails reforming and reconstructing the institution of marriage while also nurturing relevant forms of social support. Yet the effort to initiate a "world marriage revival" requires a complex cultural work, and Browning explores the key contributions that the religions of the world must make for such an effort to be successful.