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On his 40th birthday, community college teacher Eldred Duker feels he’s getting older faster and faster. Childless, he and his wife Marie visit the orphanage he and his now-estranged sister Anne lived in as small children and, as Marie has long wanted to do, end up adopting six-year-old Hope. Hope is sexually assaulted at age 16. Herself molested by one of their mother’s male friends as a child, Anne comes for a visit to help. After Hope is on her own, Marie is killed in a car accident. Slowly at first, Duke starts losing his grip on reality. He seeks revenge on the man whose vehicle killed Marie, looks for relief of his pain by taking a yoga class, falls in love with the instructor Rachel, marries her, sees his daughter Hope married to Dirk and helps Rachel bury her mother. During these years, Duke’s judgment deteriorates. He causes a car accident that kills Rachel, starts drinking regularly and tracks down the man who killed Marie to forgive him and thus himself. Hope and Anne eventually realize that he is no longer capable of taking care of himself and place him a Continuing Care Retirement Community. There, when ER tests given after he breaks a leg reveal that he has a fast-acting fatal disease, they move him back to his old home. Having separated from Dirk, Hope moves in to take care of him and arranges for hospice care. Along with her now-adult children, she and Anne attend his death.
A Dirty Old Man Goes Bad, by John Cowart, records the humor and happiness of a frustrated writer. John's daily blog, Rabid Fun, bears the caption, A befuddled ordinary Christian looks for spiritual realities in day to day living. Sounds like a downer. Yet, over 104,000 readers from 102 countries visited his website in 2005. A Dirty Old Man Goes Bad reveals John's happy joys as well as his struggles with temptation over bitterness, resentment, pornography, Microsoft, depression, laziness, Google, Blogger, pettiness, sloth, Krispy Kreme Donuts, and anger. All in all, this is a real-time love story told day by day by a man who loves reality.
A 2000-year-old man visits an elementary school and provides humorous answers to questions from a teacher and his students. Includes audio CD.
Katey is in elementary school. Her class has show and tell once a week. The kids usually bring in toys and other stuff from home. Katey decided she wanted all of her classmates to see that she has a cat named Old Man. She loves her cat which is why she wanted to show him off to everyone. Katey went to her teacher, Mrs. Twisdale, and asked if everyone can bring in their pets for show and tell. Mrs. Twisdale got the ok from the school principal. Permission slips were sent home with the children for the parents to sign plus a parent had to help each child bring in his/her pet. Since each child had a pet, it took several days for show and tell. Some of the children had dogs, cats, rabbits, etc. When it was Katey's day, Old Man was there. Old Man put a new meaning to show and tell. Read the book and find out what happens when it was Old Man's turn. It makes good reading for the parents and their children.
A massive collection of laugh-out-loud jokes—arranged A-to-Z by subject! •Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He finally decided to stick it out for one more year! •A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.” •Where do you get virgin wool from? An ugly sheep! •What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? “Oh look! Donut seeds!” •The police have reported the theft of a shipment of filing cabinets, document folders, and labeling machines—it’s believed to have been the work of organized crime. Keep yourself—and friends and family—laughing with a new joke every day. This book is packed full of thousands of jokes, alphabetically organized into hundreds of topics from accountants to zebras, providing one gigantic, over-the-top, laugh-out-loud collection.
Over 2,200 Jokes from America’s favorite live radio show A treasury of hilarity from Garrison Keillor and the cast of public radio’s A Prairie Home Companion. A guy walks into a bar. Eight Canada Geese walk into a bar. A termite jumps up on the bar and asks, “Where is the bar tender?” Drum roll. The Sixth Edition of the perennially popular Pretty Good Joke Book is everything the first five were and more. More puns, one-liners, light bulb jokes, knock-knock jokes, and third-grader jokes (have you heard the one about Elvis Parsley?). More religion jokes, political jokes, lawyer jokes, blonde jokes, and jokes in questionable taste (Why did the urologist lose his license? He got in trouble with his peers). More jokes about chickens, relationships, and senior moments (the nice thing about Alzheimer’s is you can enjoy the same jokes again and again). It all started back in 1996, when A Prairie Home Companion fans laughed themselves silly during the first Joke Show. The broadcast was such a hit that it became an almost-annual gagfest. Then fans wanted to read the jokes, share them, and pass them around, and the first Pretty Good Joke Book was born. With over 200 new and updated jokes, the latest edition promises countless giggles, chortles, and guffaws anyone—fans of the radio show or not—will enjoy.
Stories that move away from the norms of daily life to explore the side roads that take us away from the known. Where will those backroads and back alleys take us?
Tim O’Connor is paid to be violent. He plays for the El Paso Storm in the West Texas Hockey League. People call him Oak. He’s been an enforcer for longer than his hip or shoulder or back have been able to hold together. He is a broken machine of gristle and rage. And he has been away from home for too long. He’s called back to Boston by his mother’s death. There he confronts a life he failed to live, a daughter he doesn’t know, and a body that is quickly breaking down. Still, he can’t conceive of a future without hockey, even as he chews oxycodone and Adderall to numb his injuries and steady his brain. When a brutal encounter with the police places him in the path of Joan Linney, a haunted public defender, and Kip, a boy with a brave face, Oak and his chance companions roam cold streets from Castle Island to Quincy Point, struggling to believe in a different future. In spare, potent language, Jeff W. Bens builds a remarkable character from the skates up. The Mighty Oak is a visceral and emotional experience. The fact of Oak’s physical existence is powerfully rendered, and the bone-deep transformation of his character is one you will not soon forget.
A combat medic in Vietnam faces the chaos of war, set against the tranquil scenes of family life back home in small-town America. After returning home from war to stay with his grandfather, he confronts his own shattered personal history and the mysterious human capacity for renewal.