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Defining the narcissistic/borderline couple as "individuals who, when they are together, form a shared couple myth that gives rise to many collective fantasies," Lachkar explicates the network that underlies this type of relationship and demonstrates how two theoretical constructs--self psychology and object relations--can be integrated to create an effective conjoint treatment of marital pathology. Annotation copyrighted by Book News, Inc., Portland, OR
People with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorders are master manipulators; Caretakers fall for them every time. This book helps Caretakers break the cycle and puts them on a new path of personal freedom, discovery, and self-awareness, through the use of real stories and practical suggestions from a seasoned therapist.
Much has been written about narcissism, addressing not only its theoretical aspects, its psychodynamics and the defense mechanisms within the spectrum of various kinds of narcissists. Yet, little if anything has been written about how to actually communicate with one, or what Lachkar refers to as the “Language of Empathology.” This book focuses on specific communication styles in addressing patients with severe narcissistic personality pathology which can be extremely beneficial to mental health professionals, who are often inundated with technical terms rather than offered a practical guide on how to actually "talk" to a narcissist. How to Talk to a Narcissist is designed to be a guide useful to both beginning and seasoned practitioners. The book is recommended to all clinicians treating individuals, couples, groups, within the scope of various narcissistic personality disorders. The book has many applications, including use as a textbook for universities, clinics, graduate courses, and analytic training institutes. People in business, partnerships, commercial sales, and human resources will also find the approach to communicating with a narcissist most valuable.
Those raised by a BPD parent endured a volatile and painful childhood. This book offers readers step-by-step guidance to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of being raised by a person with this disorder. Readers discover coping strategies for dealing with low self-esteem, lack of trust, guilt, and hypersensitivity.
Recovering from any broken relationship is difficult, but when one partner is a narcissist, extracting yourself from the union and healing from the emotional damage can be overwhelming. Using stories from her practice, Margalis Fjelstad helps "caretakers" heal from their broken relationships and navigate the rocky waters post-break up.
Harvard Medical School psychologist and Huffington Post blogger Craig Malkin addresses the "narcissism epidemic," by illuminating the spectrum of narcissism, identifying ways to control the trait, and explaining how too little of it may be a bad thing. "What is narcissism?" is one of the fastest rising searches on Google, and articles on the topic routinely go viral. Yet, the word "narcissist" seems to mean something different every time it's uttered. People hurl the word as insult at anyone who offends them. It's become so ubiquitous, in fact, that it's lost any clear meaning. The only certainty these days is that it's bad to be a narcissist—really bad—inspiring the same kind of roiling queasiness we feel when we hear the words sexist or racist. That's especially troubling news for millennials, the people born after 1980, who've been branded the "most narcissistic generation ever." In Rethinking Narcissism readers will learn that there's far more to narcissism than its reductive invective would imply. The truth is that we all fall on a spectrum somewhere between utter selflessness on the one side, and arrogance and grandiosity on the other. A healthy middle exhibits a strong sense of self. On the far end lies sociopathy. Malkin deconstructs healthy from unhealthy narcissism and offers clear, step-by-step guidance on how to promote healthy narcissism in our partners, our children, and ourselves.
Gentle counsel and realistic advice for families contending with one of today's most misunderstood forms of mental illness. For family members of people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), home life is routinely unpredictable and frequently unbearable. Extreme mood swings, impulsive behaviors, unfair blaming and criticism, and suicidal tendencies--common conduct among those who suffer from the disorder--leave family members feeling confused, hurt, and helpless. In Stop Walking on Eggshells, Randi Kreger's pioneering first book which sold more than 340,000 copies, she and co-author Paul T. Mason outlined the fundamental differences in the way that people with BPD relate to the world. Now, with The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder, Kreger takes readers to the next level by offering them five straightforward tools to organize their thinking, learn specific skills, and focus on what they need to do to get off the emotional rollercoaster: (1) Take care of yourself; (2) Uncover what keeps you feeling stuck; (3) Communicate to be heard; (4) Set limits with love; and (5) Reinforce the right behaviors. Together the steps provide a clear-cut system designed to help friends and family reduce stress, improve their relationship with their borderline loved one, improve their problem-solving skills and minimize conflict, and feel more self-assured about setting limits.
You hear and read a lot about ways to improve your relationship. But if you've tried these without much success, you're not alone. Many highly reactive couples—pairs that are quick to argue, anger, and blame—need more than just the run-of-the-mill relationship advice to solve their problems in love. When destructive emotions are at the heart of problems in your relationship, no amount of effective communication or intimacy building will fix what ails it. If you're part of a "high-conflict" couple, you need to get control of your emotions first, to stop making things worse, and only then work on building a better relationship. The High-Conflict Couple adapts the powerful techniques of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) into skills you can use to tame out-of-control emotions that flare up in your relationship. Using mindfulness and distress tolerance techniques, you'll learn how to deescalate angry situations before they have a chance to explode into destructive fights. Other approaches will help you disclose your fears, longings, and other vulnerabilities to your partner and validate his or her experiences in return. You'll discover ways to manage problems with negotiation, not conflict, and to find true acceptance and closeness with the person you love the most. This book has been awarded The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Seal of Merit — an award bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.
Some readers may recognize their mothers as well as themselves in this book. They will also find specific suggestions for creating healthier relationships. Addressing the adult children of borderlines and the therapists who work with them, Dr. Lawson shows how to care for the waif without rescuing her, to attend to the hermit without feeding her fear, to love the queen without becoming her subject, and to live with the witch without becoming her victim.
Being partnered with a narcissist or borderline personality can be hard enough, but learning how to shield children from the fallout is paramount. Here, the authors show readers how to manage parenting when a narcissistic or borderline partner is part of the equation. Life in a narcissistic family system is at best challenging, and too often filled with chaos, isolation, emotional outbursts, and rigid controlling behaviors. It is too often devoid of peace and emotional safety. In the worst outcomes, children in these families grow up with low self-worth, issues with trust and belonging, and a lack of self-compassion. They are at significant risk of carrying the cycle forward and having poor adult relationships. This book offers a way to intervene and disrupt the cycle of negative outcomes for children. Written by two family therapists who bring a combined total of sixty years of clinical practice with individuals and families, the book pulls no punches, giving clear-headed advice, easy to follow actions to help children, and an abundance of teaching examples. Instead of the doom and gloom scenarios often presented about life with a narcissist or borderline, this book provides a much more positive outlook, and most importantly, it offers hope and a path to an entirely different outcome for the family members. Supported by current research in neuroscience, mindfulness and parenting information, the book focuses on teaching resilience and self-compassion to raise emotionally healthy children, even in a narcissistic family system. It starts by helping parents get a clear understanding of what they face with a narcissistic or borderline partner. There is no room here for denial, but there are also many options to explore. It explains how and why the narcissistic family system functions so poorly for raising healthy children, and pinpoints the deficits while providing information on how to intervene more effectively for the benefit of the children. Using their years of experience, the authors present ideas for staying together as well as knowing when to leave the relationship and how best to do that. Emphasis throughout the book is on supporting and strengthening the reader with encouragement, concrete ideas, skills and compassionate understanding.