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A much needed book for those with a desire to know and those in the throes of desire re: (in)fidelity in a committed relationship. It includes invaluable unbiased information, statistics, commentary, personal stories (including the author's) and surveys for examination. It is an honest, easy, concise read that gets to the crux of the matter, with bits of humor thrown in for good measure This is a book for everyone. It offers up guidelines to preserve integrity and respect before falling victim to the harmful backlash of infidelity. The purpose is to promote awareness, education, and personal accountability. This is your call to action, no matter which side of the fence you find yourself. This is where the change-up begins!
Have you ever wondered if the Internet can really damage a relationship? Have you ever wondered whether there is a risk in having cyber-friends when you are committed to someone? Has your significant other ever cheated on you with someone on the Internet? Based on a study of sexual behavior of women and men in open and in closed relationships, The In-Factor Model can show you the unconscious process people follow online. Our findings seek to make you aware of the risk that cyber-friends and the Internet can bring to a relationship, as well as provide you with a notion of what committed adults are doing online. Moreover, if someone cheated on you with a cyber-friend, this book may help you understand how and why. Whats more, professionals working with couples and committed individuals can benefit from this book since it shows the process that people follow online. Clinicians can understand, explain, and come up with strategies for each level of the process to help their clients that go through infidelity online in a simple and clear way. If you are interested in the magic of the Internet, then this handy book is for you. www.amorsex.com
Help your clients’ relationships survive infidelity! In the Handbook of the Clinical Treatment of Infidelity, a panel of seasoned experts reflects on issues central to affairs, and on how to help couples heal and learn from them. First, editors Fred P. Piercy, Katherine M. Hertlein, and Joseph L. Wetchler provide an essential overview of infidelity theory, research, and treatment. They discuss the effect of infidelity on couples and delineate three types of infidelity—emotional, physical, and infidelity including aspects of both. They review the relatively new role of the Internet in infidelity and explore infidelity within the context of comarital relationships. Finally, they discuss the overarching theories and common models used in infidelity treatment. Also in the Handbook of the Clinical Treatment of Infidelity: Susan M. Johnson, the co-developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), discusses affairs through the lens of attachment theory, and shows how EFT provides a way to acknowledge and express pain, remorse, and regret, and to repair this attachment bond. David Moultrup takes a Bowenian approach to infidelity, focusing attention on the underlying dynamics of the emotional system Frank Pittman and Tina Pittman Wagers outline cultural myths about affairs and do their share of debunking Adrian Blow discusses how to help couples directly address their pain—and the challenges of the healing process Brian Case highlights the role of apology and forgiveness in the healing process Frank Stalfa and Catherine Hastings focus on the treatment of “accusatory suffering”—a spouse’s obsessive holding onto and retaliating for an affair long after it has ended, and despite the offending partner’s repeated apologies and attempts at restitution Don-David Lusterman discusses individuals who have suppressed or denied traumatic stress reactions to their partner’s affair, and how to help them Scott Johnson discusses myths about affairs, from who is cheating on whom, to whether men really have more affairs than women, to the blame-filled language of “affairs,” “betrayal,” and “infidelity,” asking us to think more systematically about affairs and to see the dynamics of extra dyadic relationships as more complex and nuanced than they are typically portrayed in the literature Joan Atwood provides an overview of Internet infidelity—the factors influencing one’s involvement in this type of infidelity, and some considerations for therapists Tim Nelson, Fred Piercy, and Doug Sprenkle report on the results of a multi-phase Delphi study that explored what infidelity experts say are the critical issues, interventions, and gender differences in the treatment of Internet infidelity Monica Whitty and Adrian Carr draw upon Klein’s object relations theory and discuss how this might influence the way people rationalize their Internet infidelity Emily Brown outlines the concept of the Split Self Affair—discussing its origins, characteristics, and implications for individuals and couples, and providing detailed information on how to work with these couples in therapy Michael Bettinger presents extra dyadic relationship as a fact, rather than a problem, within many gay male relationships—a discussion that shows how gay male polyamory can work as an alternative to the heterosexual model of emotional and sexual exclusivity in romantic dyadic relationships Katherine Hertlein and Gary Skaggs report on the results of a study that assessed the level of differentiation and one’s engagement in extra dyadic relationships The Handbook of the Clinical Treatment of Infidelity is essential reading for today’s (and tomorrow’s) clinicians who work with couples. Make it a p
"A fresh look at infidelity, broadening the focus from the havoc it wreaks within a committed relationship to consider also why people do it, what it means to them, and why breaking up is the expected response to duplicity — but not necessarily the wisest one.” — LA Review of Books From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it. An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations. Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”
The volume opens with a historical overview of more than 60 years of research on the classification of personality traits. Subsequent chapters focus on theoretical questions that have guided the construction of the model, weigh the value and applicability of each of the five dimensions, and use the five-factor model as a point of departure for discussing broader issues concerning the development and dynamics of personality
A much needed book for those with a desire to know and those in the throes of desire re: (in)fidelity in a committed relationship. It includes invaluable unbiased information, statistics, commentary, personal stories (including the author's) and surveys for examination. It is an honest, easy, concise read that gets to the crux of the matter, with bits of humor thrown in for good measure This is a book for everyone. It offers up guidelines to preserve integrity and respect before falling victim to the harmful backlash of infidelity. The purpose is to promote awareness, education, and personal accountability. This is your call to action, no matter which side of the fence you find yourself. This is where the change-up begins!
From leading marital therapists and researchers, this unique book presents a three-stage therapy approach for clinicians working with couples struggling in the aftermath of infidelity. The book provides empirically grounded strategies for helping clients overcome the initial shock, understand what happened and why, think clearly about their best interests before they act, and move on emotionally, whether or not they ultimately reconcile. The volume is loaded with vivid clinical examples and carefully designed exercises for use both during sessions and at home. The book will be invaluable to clinicians who treat couples, including couple and family therapists and counselors, clinical psychologists, social workers, pastoral counselors, and psychiatrists. It may also serve as a supplemental text in graduate-level courses.
A thoughtfully written and sensitive guide for anyone dealing with the devastating effects of an affair. For anyone who has been impacted by an affair, the effects can be nothing short of devastating. Licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Liz Currin has years of experience helping couples resolve and repair the damage wrought by the effects of an affair. Through Dr Currin's thoughtful style, readers of The Essential Guide to Surviving Infidelity will learn how affairs start, what to do if a partner is suspected of cheating, how to deal with the emotional impact of an affair, and many other essential steps in the healing process. In addition, Dr. Currin provides clears guideposts to healing a marriage (as well as oneself), moving on, engaging the power of forgiveness, and restoring trust.
When one partner in a relationship is unfaithful to the other, it takes a lot of work by both parties involved to salvage the relationship. In today’s therapy-friendly climate, marriage/couples counseling is often a part of that rebuilding process. Many couples seek out professional therapy after an affair is out in the open, but often the act of infidelity is revealed while uncovering and discussing unrelated issues for which the couple is in counseling. And yet, amazingly, as common as this complex and difficult topic arises in therapy, there is relatively little professional literature devoted to understanding and "treating" infidelity. In this volume, Paul Peluso has assembled a truly impressive list of contributors from a range of disciplines and backgrounds, including marital therapy, family therapy, evolutionary psychology, marriage research, and cyberstudies, with the aim of filling this void.
Psychological research has produced a rich body of empirical data documenting humanity's propensity to commit infidelity in the context of long-term relationships, but comparatively little work has been dedicated to synthesizing these data into an integrated framework that encompasses the full range of its processes, from why it occurs in the first place to how it affects the long-term relationship thereafter. This edited handbook integrates a broad range of topics such as characteristics related to the propensity to commit infidelity, sex differences in reactions to infidelity, our inclination to dissolve relationships after infidelity, and other responses to infidelity. It showcases contributions from experts in social psychology, evolutionary psychology, and others who specialize in research on romantic relationships. The handbook discusses the processes of infidelity alongside sources of variation, such as sexual orientation, developmental life history, individual differences, and culture. This volume captures the interdisciplinary quality of research on the predictors, nature, and consequences of infidelity for the broader social scientific community interested in trust in romantic relationships.