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You're about to enter, the world of gross. We tackle some subjects, short, and in depth. From boogers to dandruff, to zits and bad breath, Canker sores, ear wax, I'll give you the scoop About vomiting, and warts, and what's inside your poop Laryngitis, toe jam, even lice and pee You will say, "all of this, can happen to ME?"
Did you know that James Joyce liked to smell his wife's farts? That some fish communicate by expelling gas? Or that the Pentagon is developing weapons of mass olfactory destruction (WMOD)? That's just a whiff of what's in store in this breathtaking follow-up to the best-selling fart history, WHO CUT THE CHEESE? In BLAME IT ON THE DOG, eminent fartologist Jim Dawson sniffs out the latest and greatest new items of the past century, from flatulent robot dogs and fart fetishists to poot-proof underwear and anti-stink pills. In fifty breezy chapters, he spills the beans about scientific (wind)breakthroughs, celebrity butt rumblings, and real-life fartistes like Flatulina Fontanelle Boutier, cyberspace entertainer the Queen of Farts, and Mr. Methane, England's Prince of Poots. Plumbing the nether regions of politics, pop culture, and the (f)arts, this stinker of a bathroom book will leave you gasping for air.
Alternate universes exist! Perfect for moviegoers who loved 17 Again, Sliding Doors, and The Family Man, as well as the novel Before I Fall. When plain and unpopular Annie Nutter gets zapped by one of her dad's whacked-out inventions, she lands in a parallel universe where her life becomes picture-perfect. Now she's Ayla Monroe, daughter of the same mother but a different father—and she's the gorgeous, rich queen bee of her high school. In this universe, Ayla lives in glitzy Miami instead of dreary Pittsburgh and has beaucoup bucks, courtesy of her billionaire—if usually absent—father. Her friends hit the clubs, party backstage at concerts, and take risks that are exhilirating . . . and illegal. Here she's got a date to lose her V-card with the hottest guy she's ever seen. But on the insde, Ayla is still Annie. So when she's offered the chance to leave the dream life and head home to Pittsburgh, will she take it? The choice isn't as simple as you think.
Joke book about farts, offering information on just what a fart is and how to perform certain humorous moves in association with one's farts.
José and Rosa meet with the help of the Happy Heart Marriage Agency. Buying a house becomes the focus of their marriage. To get the money for a house, José becomes a robber, sniper, and political subversive, all the while exposing the absurdity of the repressive political regime in which he lives.
For decades, teachers, though underpaid, were among the most respected, esteemed professionals in the United States. But things have changed. As schools fail to meet the needs of a growing, diverse population, teachers have taken the hit. Popular movies have sensationalized the power and potential of those in the teaching profession, their hyperbole bordering on the absurd. Bruce Jay Gevirtzman hands you the truth about conditions in America’s schools. His defense of teachers may be shocking, but could awaken us to solutions that really work.
Newbery Honor author Rodman Philbrick sends readers straight into the nightmare of a raging wildfire as 12-year-old Sam is trapped by explosive flames and deadly smoke that threaten to take his life. Can he survive? Flames race toward Sam Castine's summer camp as evacuation buses are loading, but Sam runs back to get his phone. Suddenly, a flash of heat blasts him as pine trees explode. Now a wall of fire separates Sam from his bus, and there's only one thing to do: Run for his life. Run or die.Lungs burning, Sam's only goal is to keep moving. Drought has made the forest a tinderbox, and Sam struggles to remember survival tricks he learned from his late father. Then, when he least expects it, he encounters Delphy, an older girl who is also lost. Their unlikely friendship grows as they join forces to find civilization.The pace never slows, and eventually flames surround Sam and Delphy on all sides. A powerful bond is forged that can only grow out of true hardship -- as two true friends beat all odds and outwit one of the deadliest fires ever.At the end of the novel, information about wildfires and useful safety tips add to the reader's understanding of one of the US's most dangerous natural disasters.
Angus Beeftickle, MD, has an emission mission. The brave doctor seeks to break down one of polite society's longest-standing taboos: He would return the fart to its rightful place. To let one fly in public is Beeftickle's dream. To toot on public transit. To play the intestinal tuba in elevators. To let the comic potential of a well-timed rip bring us together as brothers and sisters in a sonorous choir of nether horns. To share in an activity as old as time. In Fart Club, Beeftickle guides you through the wonderful world of flatulence. Explore how your body produces, transports, and releases gas; learn where and when to deploy your dirty bombs for best effect; and discover the food that maximizes your gaseous potential. Beeftickle even offers carefully crafted fart recipes-culinary offerings with delightfully colonic consequences. The rectal trumpets shall sound proudly from the college classroom to the high-class art museum. We will not be constrained. We will reclaim the right to play sweet butt-music where and when we get the urge. Let the world tremble at our gas-powered cacophonies. Let the self-righteous sneer and the timid faint. Let loose your intestinal orchestra, and fart with pride!
Every fart is unique. From the ever-so-dainty Pipsqueak to the mighty window-frame-rattling Thunderclap, there's a whole world of bottom-burps to savour in this informative and revealing dictionary. Ranging from how to fart and get away with it to the worst places to fart, you'll realize you didn't know the first thing about flatulence!
"Five high school seniors face one life-changing decision and two very different roads."--