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***If you loved Alan's first memoir - Look Who It Is! - then his follow-up, Alanatomy, will take you further into the hilarious and bizarre world of the country's favourite chatty man.*** 'As laugh out loud as his TV shows' Daily Mirror It must seem strange to you that I've called a book Alanatomy . . . For anyone who has taken the time to see my stand-up performances or watched my chat show, 'Chattyman', knows that my body has hardly been kind to me - in fact there've been times when we've actually stopped talking to each other. Balding, myopic, often flaky with psoriasis, back fat that hangs suspended like a cape, a voice that could strip varnish, an increasingly dodgy hip and even dodgier teeth. Why would you draw attention to it? you must ask. Couldn't you just call the book something else? Do you think the Great British Public is ready to pore over your body? Well, as I turn forty and take stock of my showbiz life over the last ten years or so, I have learnt to embrace my flaws and face my shortcomings. In fact, strange as it might seem, the things I hate about myself have become my trademark and I am slowly, begrudgingly learning to, if not love them, to at least live with them. I am ready now to take a long hard look at myself and that's what Alanatomy is. It's the story of my rise to fame: the joys, the traumas, the parties, the disappointments. Hopefully you will find it witty, fun, heartwarming, but more importantly honest, and that it will keep you entertained every time you pick it up. Alanatomy is the chance for you to get beneath my skin and see the real me because, and to continue the anatomical theme if I may, this showbiz existence can sometimes feel like an autopsy - picked at, probed and scrutinized with every inch of your body held up for analysis, but unlike an actual autopsy, you are very much alive. So I give you Alanatomy: The Inside Story. I am laying myself out on the slab for your entertainment; naked, stripped bare. Grab your scalpel, peel back the skin and go deep, have a good old probe around at my life so far. Yes, you are going to find guts, a fair bit of cheek, maybe even a little bit of gristle, but hopefully, you'll find a whole lot of heart.
A junior Animal Ark series by best-selling author Lucy Daniels.
An anthology of witty, real-life stories of female bonding celebrate the lively, fun-filled side of women's friendships, from Fergie's and Diana's night on the town during Prince Andrew's bachelor party to La Bella Mafia, a gang devoted to diva-dom, righting wrongs, and overdressing. Original. 30,000 first printing.
The perfect lighthearted summer read for 11 - 14 year olds Meet Mo Merrydrew - independent young woman, Mini Battenberg fan, president of the debating society - and reluctant vampire queen ... Mo Merrydrew, fifteen-year-old Vampire Queen of Great Britain, has found a way to have her cake and eat it (and that'll be a mini Battenberg, please). Becoming Vampire Queen wasn't the easiest of decisions, but she's settling into it quite happily, now that she has dreamy familiar Luca by her side and she doesn't actually have to bite any humans. She now just has the ... er ... teeny-tiny task of finding a way to get all the vampires in the land to swear allegiance to her, and save them from the vampire hunters who are rapidly picking them off. Easy-peasy, eh? Throw in gorgeous Vanya, sent by the Vampire King of the East to keep an eye on Mo, unruly vampires hellbent on causing havoc and a dad with a dark secret, and that cake of Mo's starts to look distinctly less appetising ... Geek Girl meets Buffy in a brilliantly funny new teen series from bestselling author Jo Simmons
Eastern Europeans in Contemporary Literature and Culture: Imagining New Europe provides a comprehensive study of the way in which contemporary writers, filmmakers, and the media have represented the recent phenomenon of Eastern European migration to the UK and Western Europe following the enlargement of the EU in the 21st century, the social and political changes after the fall of communism, and the Brexit vote. Exploring the recurring figures of Eastern Europeans as a new reservoir of cheap labour, the author engages with a wide range of both mainstream and neglected authors, films, and programmes, including Rose Tremain, John Lanchester, Marina Lewycka, Polly Courtney, Dubravka Ugrešić, Kapka Kassabova, Kwame Kwei-Armah, Mike Phillips, It’s a Free World, Gypo, Britain’s Hardest Workers, The Poles are Coming, and Czech Dream. Analyzing the treatment of Eastern Europeans as builders, fruit pickers, nannies, and victims of sex trafficking, and ways of resisting the stereotypes, this is an important intervention into debates about Europe, migration, and postcommunist transition to capitalism, as represented in multiple contemporary cultural texts.
A hallucination of Sherlock Holmes helps hardboiled PI Jack Watson solve a perplexing case in this unique take on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s legendary detective. In the city of Los Angeles, there’s no private detective quite like Jack Watson. A tough-as-nails gumshoe, he’s made a reputation as the kind of sleuth who will take any case, no matter how sleazy or small. He’s in the middle of a particularly nasty divorce investigation when his client’s mistress sees fit to club Watson on the back of the head with an iron. When he comes to, he’s in the hospital looking at Sherlock Holmes. Holmes is translucent and floating slightly above the floor—a figment of Watson’s imagination that has come to transform a mediocre detective into a great one. Hired by the notorious Hollywood producer Osgood Kane, Watson is about to stumble onto a truly baffling case, the sort only Holmes can solve. They’re thousands of miles from Baker Street, and a lifetime away from the Victorian era, but when Watson’s brawn teams up with Holmes’s brain, the game is afoot once again. Written by legendary Holmes expert Barry Day, whose Sherlock Holmes: In His Own Words and in the Words of Those Who Knew Him is the quintessential biography of the great sleuth, this is an adventure that even Sir Arthur Conan Doyle couldn’t have dreamed up. Witty, exciting, and irresistibly fun, Two for One bridges the gap between the modern mystery and history’s greatest private eye.