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If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Girl Scout jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Girl Scout Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Girl Scout Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Girl Scout joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Girl Scout jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Girl Scouts wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Girl Scout and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Girl Scout brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Girl Scout who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Girl Scouts laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***
The Scout Riddle Book is a collection of jokes and riddles that will keep any scout with a funny bone entertained for hours. The Scout Riddle Book also features some great jokes from Joe Scout and the Ranger. This book is perfect for any campfire or scouting event. It provides scouts with clean jokes that are told in a humorous and silly fashion.
The past lies like a nightmare over the world.Two hundred years after the War when atomic fire rained from the skies and burned the world to cinders, human civilization has had time to rebuild within the burned-out husk of Old America. But the old terrors of the past still persist, and while some work to build a better world, others still dream of reclaiming the glory of the Old World.In southern Appalachia, political commissar Magnolia Blackadder is sent on a mission into the irradiated Exclusion Zone of Old DC, where an evil that humanity thought it had vanquished centuries ago is waking up and rebuilding its strength. Along the way, she meets a strange woman with terrible secrets and an unspeakable past, and as they forge a bond and brave the terrors of the wasteland together, she learns that some demons are not so easily exorcised, and that some stones are better left unturned. In this her debut novel, award-winning author Natalie Ironside delivers a new vision of the post-apocalypse, a tale of adventure, terror, love, and that most basic and most powerful of all human desires: Freedom.
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “Driving, wild and hilarious” (The Washington Post), here is the incredible “memoir” of the legendary actor, gambler, raconteur, and Saturday Night Live veteran. When Norm Macdonald, one of the greatest stand-up comics of all time, was approached to write a celebrity memoir, he flatly refused, calling the genre “one step below instruction manuals.” Norm then promptly took a two-year hiatus from stand-up comedy to live on a farm in northern Canada. When he emerged he had under his arm a manuscript, a genre-smashing book about comedy, tragedy, love, loss, war, and redemption. When asked if this was the celebrity memoir, Norm replied, “Call it anything you damn like.”
The biggest and best collection of jokes for all the family to enjoy. 8,000 rib-ticklers, covering every subject under the sun from Aardvarks to Zombies, including chicken jokes, doctor-doctor jokes, elephant jokes, horror jokes, knock-knock jokes, excruciating puns, riddles, school jokes, sports jokes and waiter jokes. Most of the jokes are sharp one-liners but there is also a scattering of slightly longer stories.
Introducing an all-new line of fast-selling tastelessness from the five-million-copy Queen of Crass, Blanche Knott. Tastelessness is ever popular, especially among the young, students, novelty buyers, gift-givers, and pranksters. Packaged in the same eye-catching format as all Blanche Knott's other bestsellers, this new volume will be snapped up by legions of Knott's fans.
A young girl in middle school will do whatever it takes to meet her favorite author—even if it means joining her school band! A contemporary graphic novel about making your dream come true—and the friends you make along the way. When Scout learns that her favorite author is doing an exclusive autograph session at the end of the year, she's determined to be there! She officially needs a plan...and when she finds out that her school's band is heading to the same location for their annual trip, an idea takes shape. Being a band kid can't be that hard, right? As it turns out, learning how to play an instrument when you can’t even read music is much, much, MUCH tougher than expected. And it’s even harder for Scout when her friends aren’t on board with her new hobby. Will she be able to master the trombone, make new band friends, and get to her favorite author’s book signing? Tackling everything seems like a challenge for a supergenius superfriend supermusician—and she’s just Scout.
Award-winning author and artist Mike Curato draws on his own experiences in Flamer, his debut graphic novel, telling a difficult story with humor, compassion, and love. "This book will save lives." —Jarrett J. Krosoczka, author of National Book Award Finalist Hey, Kiddo I know I’m not gay. Gay boys like other boys. I hate boys. They’re mean, and scary, and they’re always destroying something or saying something dumb or both. I hate that word. Gay. It makes me feel . . . unsafe. It's the summer between middle school and high school, and Aiden Navarro is away at camp. Everyone's going through changes—but for Aiden, the stakes feel higher. As he navigates friendships, deals with bullies, and spends time with Elias (a boy he can't stop thinking about), he finds himself on a path of self-discovery and acceptance. Godwin Books
Lizzy Caldwell is so excited when she’s asked to join the Camp Fear Girls. It sounds like such a cool club. Even though the clubhouse is on Fear Street—the spookiest street around. Even though the troop badges show coffins and hangman’s nooses. Even though the Camp Fear Girls are mysteriously vanishing…