George Melville Baker
Published: 2013-09
Total Pages: 50
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This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can usually download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1918 edition. Excerpt: ...Shoddy sinds Biddy to fetch him a note for Mr. Testy, Biddy pops it into my hand, and says, "You go, Tim: he'll niver be the wiser if you give it him, and you'll profit by the place. Shure, it's my duty to look after my own frinds furst." So here I am, ingaged on another man's karacther. It's little I know about the work, for hod-carrying's my perfession. Ah, well, the owld gint said, Have every thing in ordher. Faith, I'll do that same. (Takes a duster, and fiercely brushes table, sending papers flying in all directions, and upsetting the inkstand.') Oh, murther! I've upset the ink. There's a black stain on my karacther. (Takes Mb. Testy's handkerchief from the pocket of dressing-gown, and wipes up the ink; puts handkerchief back.) Jist as good as new. (Picks up papers.) The ould gint has covered his papers with pot-hooks and scrawls. They're no good, sure. ( Tears up papers.) Now for the drawers. (Takes out will. "Last will and testament." Sure, that's no good. Here's the last of that. ( Tears up will. Takes out coupons.) Picters for his ould gint's baby. (Throws them on table.) I'll finish my dusting. (Brushes mantle, knocking off the bust and vases.) Oh, murther! here's a crash among the fine arts. What will I do? (Knock, B.) Who's that? Come in wid yer. IB Enter Jnro, K. Tim. Och, murther! what's that? It's a cannible, of a--or a--vhat is it? Jing. Faith, I'd jist like to know what a Chinas dish is, ony how, afore I'd cook it. Bedad! I must scrub up my jography, shure. Faix, thim fellers cook rats and mice and puppies! That's it. Where will I find a puppy? (Sees Tim.) Och, murther! if that ain't my own brother Tim. What will I do? He'll find me out, and raise a breeze, sure. Och, murther! Why was I born to die a...