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“The most crucial relationship advice book since Men Are from Mars.”—Erin Meanley, Glamour.com A groundbreaking, interactive relationship tool that literally places in the hands of couples the power to transform chronically frustrating relationship dynamics. We've all been there. A conversation with a loved one escalates into conflict. Voices rise to a fever pitch and angry, accusative words fly through the air. At times like these, it seems impossible to find the magic words that will lead to healing. Enter Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love. A psychotherapist with decades of experience in counseling couples, Nancy Dreyfus hit upon the revolutionary practice outlined in this book during a couples-therapy session in which a wife’s unrelenting criticism of her husband was causing him to become emotionally withdrawn. In the midst of this, Dreyfus found herself scribbling on a scrap of paper, “Talk to me like I'm someone you love,” and gestured to the husband that he should hold it up. He did and within seconds the familiar power differential between the two shifted, and a gentler, more genuine connection emerged. Dreyfus was startled, then intrigued, and then motivated to create a tool that could help others. This book features more than one hundred of Dreyfus's "flash cards for real life," written statements that express what we wish we could communicate to the person we love, but either can't find the right words or the right tone in which to say it. The statements include: • Taking responsibility: "I realize I'm overreacting. Can you give me a minute to get sane again?" • Apologizing: "I know I've really hurt you. What can I do to help you trust me again?" • Loving: "You are precious, and I get that I haven't been treating you like you are." A one-of-a-kind, practical relationship tool, Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love will help couples to stop arguing and begin healing.
A moving story of grief, honesty, and the healing power of art — the ties that bind us together, even when those we love are gone. Melanie and Damon are both living in the shadow of loss. For Melanie, it's the loss of her larger-than-life artist mother, taken by cancer well before her time. For Damon, it’s the loss of his best friend, Carlos, who took his own life. As they struggle to fill the empty spaces their loved ones left behind, fate conspires to bring them together. Damon takes pictures with Carlos’s camera to try to understand his choices, and Melanie begins painting as a way of feeling closer to her mother. But when the two join their school’s production of Othello, the play they both hoped would be a distraction becomes a test of who they truly are, both together and on their own. And more than anything else, they discover that it just might be possible to live their lives without completely letting go of their sadness. Praise for Speak of Me As I Am: "Debut author Belasco adeptly captures the tribulations of high school life while also celebrating art's ability to help clarify and contextualize its joys and sorrows. . . . The novel's most intriguing character . . . is grief itself, which the author illuminates, examines, and dissects with a surgeon's precision and the gentle touch of an artist. A stirring account of the trials of adolescence." —Kirkus Reviews "This book will undoubtedly be compared to Rainbow Rowell’s Eleanor & Park. . . . Teens seeking a quieter but no less moving story will find this book a perfect read." —Booklist "Never maudlin, always authentic, the portrayal of their struggles to deal with grief and with love will resonate with many teens." —VOYA "A good purchase for realistic fiction collections and for readers looking for books about survivor’s guilt and healing." —School Library Journal "Belasco’s novel sends a powerful message about the complicated nature of grief. . . . This powerful, emotional work should be earmarked to be a favorite with teen readers." —BookPage
No matter our attachment style, we all crave connection with our partners. Learn how to transform your unproductive communication patterns with this helpful, practical, and sometimes magical tool from experienced couples’ therapist Nancy Dreyfus Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love is a brilliant interactive relationship tool that can help couples stop arguing and begin healing. Couples therapist Nancy Dreyfus hit upon this revolutionary practice during a particularly angry couples-therapy session in which a wife's unrelenting criticism of her husband was making him more and more emotionally withdrawn. Suddenly, Dreyfus found herself scribbling on a scrap of paper, "Talk to me like I'm someone you love," and gesturing to the husband that he should hold it up. He did, and within seconds, the familiar power differential between the two shifted, and a gentler, more genuine connection emerged. This revised edition features two new sections—one on making love and another on deepening trust—containing over 25 new "flash cards for real life," written statements that hold the power to express what we wish we could say to the person we love but for which we can't find either the right words or the right tone in which to say them. Each of the statements in this book is accompanied by "field notes" from the author that explain when, why, and how to use the statement, as well as real-life stories from the author's practice. "The most crucial relationship advice book since Men Are from Mars." —Erin Meanley, Glamour online
Everyone likes Humaira "Hani" Khan—she’s easy going and one of the most popular girls at school. But when she comes out to her friends as bisexual, they invalidate her identity, saying she can’t be bi if she’s only dated guys. Panicked, Hani blurts out that she’s in a relationship...with a girl her friends absolutely hate—Ishita "Ishu" Dey. Ishu is the complete opposite of Hani. She’s an academic overachiever who hopes that becoming head girl will set her on the right track for college. But Ishita agrees to help Hani, if Hani will help her become more popular so that she stands a chance of being elected head girl. Despite their mutually beneficial pact, they start developing real feelings for each other. But relationships are complicated, and some people will do anything to stop two Bengali girls from achieving happily ever after.
“WE NEED TO TALK.” In this urgent and insightful book, public radio journalist Celeste Headlee shows us how to bridge what divides us--by having real conversations BASED ON THE TED TALK WITH OVER 10 MILLION VIEWS NPR's Best Books of 2017 Winner of the 2017 Silver Nautilus Award in Relationships & Communication “We Need to Talk is an important read for a conversationally-challenged, disconnected age. Headlee is a talented, honest storyteller, and her advice has helped me become a better spouse, friend, and mother.” (Jessica Lahey, author of New York Times bestseller The Gift of Failure) Today most of us communicate from behind electronic screens, and studies show that Americans feel less connected and more divided than ever before. The blame for some of this disconnect can be attributed to our political landscape, but the erosion of our conversational skills as a society lies with us as individuals. And the only way forward, says Headlee, is to start talking to each other. In We Need to Talk, she outlines the strategies that have made her a better conversationalist—and offers simple tools that can improve anyone’s communication. For example: BE THERE OR GO ELSEWHERE. Human beings are incapable of multitasking, and this is especially true of tasks that involve language. Think you can type up a few emails while on a business call, or hold a conversation with your child while texting your spouse? Think again. CHECK YOUR BIAS. The belief that your intelligence protects you from erroneous assumptions can end up making you more vulnerable to them. We all have blind spots that affect the way we view others. Check your bias before you judge someone else. HIDE YOUR PHONE. Don’t just put down your phone, put it away. New research suggests that the mere presence of a cell phone can negatively impact the quality of a conversation. Whether you’re struggling to communicate with your kid’s teacher at school, an employee at work, or the people you love the most—Headlee offers smart strategies that can help us all have conversations that matter.
A Harvard-trained lawyer and mediator shows busy couples how to stop fighting and start communicating. In Fight Less, Love More, readers will learn how to identify the bad verbal habits, instinctive responses, and emotional reasoning that can cloud judgment and ultimately lead to the deterioration of otherwise healthy relationships. With exercises, examples, and sample scripts, Puhn’s modern voice presents simple 5-minute strategies create immediate, positive changes and provide long-lasting communication skills that couples can continually employ when faced with conflict.
Shari Schreiber learned about healing people by having to surmount her own painful life experiences. Tenacious about her pursuit of wholeness and wellness, she invented tools in her mid-twenties to help her grow beyond mere survival and learn to thrive. She imparted these tools and methods to her clients for eighteen of the twenty-five years she was passionately dedicated to helping others repair themselves. Returning to school at forty-one, she’d hoped to legitimize the talents she’d always had, but found that experience lacking. Ms. Schreiber has not worked as a state-licensed professional, because in her view, “psychotherapy” or mind work never seemed to resolve or remedy human pain. Her own approach was extremely unconventional, unique and effective in contrast to other forms of intervention, even within the realm of addiction recovery. Having retired from her wellness practice in late 2017, she hopes to publish many more books that might help you gain clarity, wholeness, contentment, inner peace and joy.
What to do when you feel like giving up When you said, “I do,” you entered marriage with high hopes, dreaming it would be supremely happy. You never intended it to be miserable. Millions of couples are struggling in desperate marriages. But the story doesn’t have to end there. Dr. Gary Chapman writes, “I believe that in every troubled marriage, one or both partners can take positive steps that have the potential for changing the emotional climate in their marriage.” Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away, the revised and updated edition of the award-winning Desparate Marriages, teaches you how to: Recognize and reject the myths that hold you captive Better understand your spouse’s behavior Take responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings, and actions Make choices that can have a lasting, positive impact on you and your spouse An experienced marriage and family counselor, Gary Chapman speaks to those whose spouse is any of the following: Irresponsible A workaholic Controlling Uncommunicative Verbally abusive Physically abusive Sexually abusive Unfaithful Addicted to alcohol or drugs Depressed Marriage has the same potential to be miserable as it does to be blissful. Read Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away to learn how you can turn things around.
A “must-read” (The Washington Post) funny and practical guide to help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams. Have you ever looked around and wondered, “Why has everyone found love except me?” You’re not the only one. Great relationships don’t just appear in our lives—they’re the culmination of a series of decisions, including whom to date, how to end it with the wrong person, and when to commit to the right one. But our brains often get in the way. We make poor decisions, which thwart us on our quest to find lasting love. Drawing from years of research, behavioral scientist turned dating coach Logan Ury reveals the hidden forces that cause those mistakes. But awareness on its own doesn’t lead to results. You have to actually change your behavior. Ury shows you how. This “simple-to-use guide” (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone) focuses on a different decision in each chapter, incorporating insights from behavioral science, original research, and real-life stories. You’ll learn: -What’s holding you back in dating (and how to break the pattern) -What really matters in a long-term partner (and what really doesn’t) -How to overcome the perils of online dating (and make the apps work for you) -How to meet more people in real life (while doing activities you love) -How to make dates fun again (so they stop feeling like job interviews) -Why “the spark” is a myth (but you’ll find love anyway) This “data-driven” (Time), step-by-step guide to relationships, complete with hands-on exercises, is designed to transform your life. How to Not Die Alone will help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams.
Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is a book about learning to improve your love life. After 30 years of clinical research and treatment of patients with unhealthy love lives, I now recognize that most people are not in control of their love lives. Why? Because most people don't know what they've learned about and from the love relationships in the course of their lives. Love relationships that started in their families of origin the moment they were born. If you don't know what you've learned about love relationships, then what you've learned is in control of your love life, healthy or unhealthy. If what you've learned was healthy, no problem. Chances are you'll simply replicate what you've learned about love relationships. If what you've learned was unhealthy, you could be unwittingly making the same love life mistakes over and over again because of what you've learned. Learn to Love will show you how to identify what you've learned about love relationships, how to unlearn what is unhealthy, and practice something new, healthy, and the opposite of what you've learned, now as a corrective in your adult love life. This simple learning formulate has helped many of my patients begin taking control of their own love lives, as well as helping me improve my own love life. Learn to Love will help you learn how to take control of your love life. Dr. Thomas Jordan