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Something Has to Change… You can’t put it into words, but something is happening to you. Your stomach churns, your heart aches, and the tension in your marriage is making you feel weary and a little crazy. The constant criticism, disrespect, cruelty, deceit, and gross indifference are eroding your confidence and breaking your spirit. For any woman caught in an emotionally destructive marriage, Leslie Vernick offers a personalized path forward. Based on decades of counseling experience, her intensely practical, biblical advice will show you how to establish boundaries and break free from emotional abuse. Learn to: · identify damaging behaviors · gain the skills to respond wisely · promote healthy change · stay safe · understand when, why, and even how to leave · recognize that God sees and hates what is happening to you Trying harder to be a perfect fantasy wife won’t help fix what’s wrong your marriage. Discover instead how you can initiate effective changes to stop the cycle of destruction and restore hope for the future. “Women in an emotionally abusive marriage do not need another book on how to have a good marriage; those books rub salt in raw wounds. No, they desperately need this book so that they can diagnose just how bad their marriage is and then, with Leslie’s clear expertise, develop a plan that will either begin to turn their marriage around...or give them a wise route of escape.” —Dee Brestin, author of Idol Lies and The Friendships of Women
Leslie Vernick, counselor and social worker, has witnessed the devastating effects of emotional abuse. Many, including many in the church, have not addressed this form of destruction in families and relationships because it is difficult to talk about. With godly guidance and practical experience, Vernick offers an empathetic approach to recognizing an emotionally destructive relationship and addresses the symptoms and the damage with biblical tools. Readers will understand how to: Reveal behaviors that are meant to control, punish, and hurt Confront and speak truth when the timing is right Determine when to keep trying, when to get out Get safe and stay safe Build an identity in Christ This practical and thorough resource will help countless individuals, families, and churches view abuse from God's perspective and understand how vital it is for victims to embrace His freedom from the physical, emotional, spiritual, and generational effects of emotionally destructive relationships.
Experience the Blessings of an Imperfect Marriage. We all–at one time or another–have the opportunity to act right when our spouse acts wrong. There are no perfect marriages or perfect spouses. We know that having a good marriage requires effort and hard work. Yet we often don’t know how to continue to love when we are angry, hurt, scared, or just plain irritated. Nor are we sure what that kind of love is supposed to look like. Should we be patient? Forgive and forget? Do something else entirely? Acting right when your spouse acts wrong will not necessarily guarantee a more satisfying marital relationship, nor will it automatically make your spouse change his or her ways–although both could occur. It will, however, help you see how God is stretching you in the midst of your marital difficulties, teach you to respond wisely when wronged, and lead you into a deeper relationship with Christ as you yield your will to his plan for your life and learn to be more like him.
Counselor and author Leslie Vernick has discovered that many people pray, “Lord, I just want to be happy!” With candor, Leslie reveals that readers don’t need new circumstances but a new perspective to discover true happiness. With biblical insight, Leslie guides readers to take simple steps as they... recognize and change habits that, day by day, keep them from experiencing happiness make good choices and learn from mistakes without beating themselves up develop the skills that enable them to let go of negative and painful emotions more quickly transform difficult circumstances so they can live with gratitude, joy, and purpose Application questions help readers work godly thinking, as well as healthy skills and habits, into their lives and hearts. They’ll discover that, even if nothing changes in their circumstances, their inner chains can be broken and they can go free...into a new path of real hope and happiness.
You Know It in Your Head. Now, Let It Live in Your Heart. Despite the abundant availability of both self-help books and Bible study materials, many of us find it difficult to apply what we learn, to make that long head-to-heart journey of change. When we are faced with life’s daily trials, our responses often lack the Christian maturity we desire–showing us clearly just how far we have to go. Is it possible to achieve a deeper, more permanent change of heart? Discover the Principle that Could Transform Your Life. Now, through one practical, simple-to-understand and easy-to-remember model, you can: • Gain a new perspective on the troubles God allows in your life. • Come to better understand your response to those trials. • Discover the underlying idols that hamper your efforts to change. • Learn how to discern the truth of God’s Word. • Develop the heart response that will draw you closer to God. Come on a journey of personal growth and spiritual discovery as your heart is drawn back to a central tenet of the Gospel: Truth isn’t something you learn, but Someone you know. And the Truth will set you free.
Do You Need Greater Self-Esteem–Or Something Else Entirely? Western culture increasingly emphasizes the importance of self-love and self-esteem. Many of us believe we must “find” ourselves–and feel good about what we see–before we can experience significant spiritual growth. Focusing so much on ourselves, however, distracts us from pursuing the only source of true fulfillment. Do we, as God’s people, really need to love ourselves more? Or is there a wiser, biblical path that can lead us to joy that is not self-centered and fleeting, but God-focused and lasting? Challenging the current fascination with self esteem, Leslie Vernick answers these questions and others that trip up Christians today. Offering surprising insights and practical helps that can make a real difference in your life, she shows how you can experience greater personal, relational, and spiritual growth while humbly adoring and glorifying your God.
"Leslie Vernick is a wise counselor... She is an experienced and thorough trainer who shares clearly and practically the necessary steps for getting into shape spiritually, emotionally, and physically in order to contend with depression. This is a wonderful, comprehensive guide..." --Cynthia Heald, international speaker and author One in five women will experience clinical depression in her lifetime. Christian counselor and author Leslie Vernick offers words of hope and encouragement as she helps women understand the symptoms of depression, what causes depression, and what steps they can take to get better and grow stronger. Employing godly wisdom and surprising insights, Leslie shares on vital topics, such as these: Depression is revealing something about you. Listen to it. Growth takes time and practice. Things are not hopeless; you are not helpless; and you are not worthless. Defeating Depression is a timely resource for women battling depression or for family and friends who love them and want to understand what they are going through. Formerly titled Getting Over the Blues
You Can Love God and Still Get a Divorce. And get this, God will still love you. Really. Are you in a destructive marriage? One of emotional, physical, or verbal abuse? Infidelity? Neglect? If yes, you know you need to escape, but you're probably worried about going against God's will. I have good news for you. You might need to divorce to save your life and sanity. And God is right beside you. In "The Life-Saving Divorce" You'll Learn: - How to know if you should stay or if you should go.- The four key Bible verses that support divorce for infidelity, neglect, and physical and/or emotional abuse. - Twenty-seven myths about divorce that aren't true for many Christians. - Why a divorce is likely the absolute best thing for your children. - How to deal with friends and family who disapprove of divorce. - How to find safe friends and churches after a divorce. Can you find happiness after leaving your destructive marriage? Absolutely yes! You can get your life back and flourish more than you thought possible. Are you ready? Then let's go. It's time to be free. This book includes multiple first-person interviews. Explains psychological abuse, gaslighting, the abuse cycle, Christian divorce and remarriage, children and divorce, domestic violence, parental alienation, mental abuse, and biblical reasons for divorce. Includes diagrams such as the Duluth Wheel of Power and Control (the Duluth Model) and the Abuse Cycle, as well as graphs based on Paul Amato's 2003 study analyzing Judith Wallerstein's book, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce. Includes quotes by Leslie Vernick, Lundy Bancroft, Shannon Thomas, David Instone-Brewer, Natalie Hoffman, LifeWay Research, Kathleen Reay, Gottman Institute, Glenda Riley, Martin Luther, John Calvin, Steven Stosny, Michal Gilad, Leonie Westenberg, Nancy Nason-Clark, Julie Owens, Marg Mowczko, Justin Holcomb, Barna Group, Justin Lehmiller, Alan Hawkins, Brian Willoughby, William Doherty, Brad Wright, Bradford Wilcox, Sheila Gregoire, E Mavis Hetherington, John Kelly, Betsey Stevenson, Justin Wolfers, Norm Wright, Virginia Rutter, Judith Herman, and Bessel van der Kolk. Recommended reading list includes: Henry Cloud, John Townsend Boundaries books, Richard Warshack books.
"Providing practical tools and exercises, counselor Darby Strickland shows how anyone can recognize clues suggesting abuse, identify oppressive behavior, and work with a victim to bring clarity, help, and healing"--
Do you want to reclaim your independence? Are you looking for guidance as you learn to set boundaries that actually serve you? If you're ready to let go of unhealthy relationships and begin your journey to healing, join Drs. Frank Minirth, Paul Meier, and Robert Hemfelt in Love Is a Choice as they walk you through their ten proven steps to recovering from codependency. In Love Is a Choice, Drs. Minirth, Meier, and Hemfelt combine decades of research with timeless biblical wisdom to show you that the most effective means of overcoming codependent relationships is to establish or deepen your relationship with Christ Himself. Love Is a Choice will teach you why God wants us to be independent and why you deserve to have healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Throughout Love Is a Choice, Drs. Minirth, Meier, and Hemfelt will lead you through their method to overcoming codependency once and for all. Along the way, Love Is a Choice will give you the tools and encouragement you need to: Discover the root causes of codependency Surround yourself with a loving, supportive community See yourself in a new light Uncover your unmet emotional needs It's time to break the cycle of codependency. Let Love Is a Choice be your guide every step of the way.