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A remarkable number of women today are taking the daunting step of having children outside of marriage. In Single By Chance, Mothers By Choice, Rosanna Hertz offers the first full-scale account of this fast-growing phenomenon, revealing why these middle class women took this unorthodox path and how they have managed to make single parenthood work for them. Hertz interviewed 65 women--ranging from physicians and financial analysts to social workers, teachers, and secretaries--women who speak candidly about how they manage their lives and families as single mothers. What Hertz discovers are not ideologues but reluctant revolutionaries, women who--whether straight or gay--struggle to conform to the conventional definitions of mother, child, and family. Having tossed out the rulebook in order to become mothers, they nonetheless adhere to time-honored rules about child-rearing. As they tell their stories, they shed light on their paths to motherhood, describing how they summoned up the courage to pursue their dream, how they broke the news to parents, siblings, friends, and co-workers, how they went about buying sperm from fertility banks or adopting children of different races. They recount how their personal and social histories intersected to enable them to pursue their dream of motherhood, and how they navigate daily life. What does it mean to be single in terms of romance and parenting? How do women juggle earning a paycheck with parenting? What creative ways have women devised to shore up these families? How do they incorporate men into their child-centered families? This book provides concrete, informative answers to all these questions. A unique window on the future of the family, this book offers a gold mine of insight and reassurance for any woman contemplating this rewarding if unconventional step.
The first handbook for the paoidly growing number of American women choosing single motherhood, written by the director of the national organization, Single Mothers by Choice.
The comprehensive guide for single women interested in proactively becoming a mother--includes the essential tools needed to decide whether to take this step, information on how best to follow through, and insight about answering the child's questions and needs over time. Choosing Single Motherhood, written by a longtime journalist and Choice Mother (a woman who chooses to conceive or adopt without a life partner), will become the indispensable tool for women looking for both support and insight. Based on extensive up-to-date research, advice from child experts and family therapists, as well as interviews with more than one hundred single women, this book explores common questions and concerns of women facing this decision, including: - Can I afford to do this? - Should I wait longer to see if life turns a new corner? - How do Choice Mothers handle the stress of solo parenting? - What the research says about growing up in a single-parent household - How to answer a child's "daddy" questions - The facts about adoption, anonymous donor insemination, and finding a known donor - How the children of pioneering Choice Mothers feel about their lives Written in a lively style that never sugarcoats or sweeps problems under the rug, Choosing Single Motherhood covers the topic clearly, concisely, and with a great deal of heart.
A remarkable number of women today are taking the daunting step of having children outside of marriage. In Single By Chance, Mothers By Choice, Rosanna Hertz offers the first full-scale account of this fast-growing phenomenon, revealing why these middle class women took this unorthodox path and how they have managed to make single parenthood work for them. Hertz interviewed 65 women--ranging from physicians and financial analysts to social workers, teachers, and secretaries--women who speak candidly about how they manage their lives and families as single mothers. What Hertz discovers are not ideologues but reluctant revolutionaries, women who--whether straight or gay--struggle to conform to the conventional definitions of mother, child, and family. Having tossed out the rulebook in order to become mothers, they nonetheless adhere to time-honored rules about child-rearing. As they tell their stories, they shed light on their paths to motherhood, describing how they summoned up the courage to pursue their dream, how they broke the news to parents, siblings, friends, and co-workers, how they went about buying sperm from fertility banks or adopting children of different races. They recount how their personal and social histories intersected to enable them to pursue their dream of motherhood, and how they navigate daily life. What does it mean to be 'single' in terms of romance and parenting? How do women juggle earning a paycheck with parenting? What creative ways have women devised to shore up these families? How do they incorporate men into their child-centered families? This book provides concrete, informative answers to all these questions. A unique window on the future of the family, this book offers a gold mine of insight and reassurance for any woman contemplating this rewarding if unconventional step.
At the age of thirty-nine, Sarah Kowalski heard her biological clock ticking, loudly. A single woman harboring a deep ambivalence about motherhood, Kowalski needed to decide once and for all: Did she want a baby or not? More importantly, with no partner on the horizon, did she want to have a baby alone? Once she revised her idea of motherhood—from an experience she would share with a partner to a journey she would embark upon alone—the answer came up a resounding Yes. After exploring her options, Kowalski chose to conceive using a sperm donor, but her plan stopped short when a doctor declared her infertile. How far would she go to make motherhood a reality? Kowalski catapulted herself into a diligent regimen of herbs, Qigong, meditation, acupuncture, and more, in a quest to improve her chances of conception. Along the way, she delved deep into spiritual healing practices, facing down demons of self-doubt and self-hatred, ultimately discovering an unconventional path to parenthood. In the end, to become a mother, Kowalski did everything she said she would never do. And she wouldn't change a thing. A story of personal triumph and unconditional love, Motherhood Reimagined reveals what happens when we release what's expected and embrace what's possible.
Going Solo is the empowering and uplifting story of one woman's choice to become a single mother. 'I hope this story gives hope to anyone who wants children and to anyone who finds themselves single. Not to follow this path necessarily, but to remember that there are always many options.' Aged thirty-seven, single and having experienced two miscarriages, Genevieve Roberts found out that her fertility levels were dwlindling. On hearing this news, she made the courageous decision to embark on motherhood solo and eventually became pregnant using a sperm donor. Genevieve describes her initial fear of the prospect of birth without a partner, and the trepidation she felt towards all the responsibility she has taken on. She recounts all the milestones of pregnancy and motherhood that most women share with their partner -- going to NCT classes alone, taking part in birthing workshops with her sister-in-law, her amazement that two people in her pregnancy yoga class are following the same path as her. But ultimately what triumphs is Genevieve's excitement at meeting her daughter. She recalls the first months of parenthood, navigating the love, worry and tiredness of life with a newborn without a partner. She describes the beautiful simplicity of the relationship between herself and her daughter, as she gets to know Astrid without having to consider a partner. Going Solo is for anyone whose life has taken an unexpected twist; for people who are interested in modern families and for those who want to take control of their life and follow their dreams of parenthood. It celebrates the fulfilment that comes from following what makes you happy, and reminds us that beauty may be found when life offers a surprise or a deviation from convention.
Happy Together, a single mother by choice story, is a heartwarming book to help share the family building story with a young child. A story told through clear language and cheerful illustrations, readers will join Mommy bear on the journey to fulfill her greatest wish of becoming a parent. With help from a doctor and a donor, Mommy's dream came true and a baby was welcomed with great joy!
Describes the recent cultural valorization of the single mother who -- in the midst of demographic changes in the U.S. -- has emerged as the unlikely heroic and seductive voice of the new American family. Drawing on her own life as a single mother, interviews with dozens of other single mothers, cultural representations, and policies on welfare, immigration, childcare, and child custody, Juffer analyzes this contingent acceptance of single mothers. Finally, critiquing the relentless emphasis on self-sufficiency to the exclusion of community, Juffer shows the remarkable organizing skills of these new mothers of invention. - from publisher information.
Recent statistics from the U.S. Census Bureau show there are 9.9 million single mothers in the United States. This number is up from only 3.4 million in 1970, showing that single motherhood is more common than ever. For every mother recently finding herself single, or new moms learning how to raise their first child by themselves, there are countless things any mother will need to know. Single motherhood presents innumerable situations that are much harder to handle without the helping hands of a second parent nearby. But one of the best ways to prepare yourself for success as a single mother is to arm yourself with knowledge about what to expect with single parenting. A Complete Guide for Single Moms: Everything You Need to Know About Raising Healthy, Happy Children on Your Own is for every mother who is learning how to raise children on her own. Regardless of how you came to be a single mom whether it was through divorce, the end of a relationship, surrogacy, adoption, unplanned pregnancy, or by the death of a spouse this book will walk you through the information you need to know to help you and your child adjust to a new lifestyle. The book covers what to do when pregnant and single and how to rely on your family and friends for support and help. You will learn the basics of early childcare, including what a child needs in its first year, from breastfeeding and nappies, to clothing and travel. You will learn what to expect as your child grows, including the early years of school and the problematic teenage years. This book teaches you how to take care of yourself in addition to your children, which includes knowing how to find rest and work your way back into dating. You will learn how to prepare yourself for the sacrifices you will be forced to make and how to handle financial matters while raising a child alone. Even the difficult topics are covered, such as the first times you must discuss with your child why his or her father is not present. You will learn when you can fill in as a father figure, when you cannot, and what you can do to provide the male influence and support children need during those formative years. If your child s father is involved, this book will teach you how to work with him. You will learn how to raise a boy as a single mother and find positive role models for your children. We have conducted multiple interviews with successful single mothers, as well as with experts in child care, to provide a comprehensive outlook on everything you can expect as a single parent on your own from the first few weeks of stress to the later years of toilet training, proper diet, allergies, health care, and learning to talk. From conception to graduation, the life of a single mother is a trying, challenging road to travel. With this guide in hand, you will have what you need to raise a healthy, happy family.
A moving collection of personal essays about the real, human experiences behind the highly politicized issue of reproductive choice. At a time when a woman’s most complex decisions have been reduced to political rhetoric and impersonal theory, and political debate has been hijacked by pundits and name-callers, Choice joins the discourse with an assortment of candid voices in an effort to humanize the debate about reproductive rights. In addressing a wide range of women’s choices — from using birth control to taking the morning-after pill, from adopting a child to putting a child up for adoption, from having an abortion to bringing a pregnancy to full term — 'Choice' explores the complexities inherent in every reproductive decision. Including twenty-four honest, heartrending essays from established writers such as Francine Prose, Jacquelyn Mitchard, Pam Houston, Ann Hood, and Sarah Messer and emerging talents such as Kimi Faxon Hemingway, Stephanie Anderson, and Ashley Talley, 'Choice' will allow you to truly understand the meaning of the word “choice” — regardless of what side of the debate you stand on.