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Fifty-year-old science teacher Dale Portwit believes that the peak of his life has come and gone. A failed suicide, a food fetishist, so isolated that the Best Man at his wedding is a framed photograph of his former mailman, Mr. Portwit resolves to live entirely for the moment, to speak his mind at each turn no matter what the consequences. He sets his sights upon Mary Ann Tucker, Elkhart Elementary's plump, accommodating third-grade teacher. Their whirlwind courtship leads to wedding bands, a house in the suburbs, and an indulgent sex life -- so why aren't they happy? Perhaps a little revenge is just what this marriage needs. Decidedly odd, yet also oddly moving, Revenge of the Teacher's Pet is a skillful mix of comedy, poignancy, love, memory, obesity, top-ten lists, fish, and murder.
The Brewster Triplets are back to school -- and up to new hijinks -- in this hilarious new story from Jennifer Ziegler! The Brewster triplets have this whole school year figured out. They'll share notes and books and help plan their big sister's wedding, and they're all going to be on color guard. Smooth sailing through the seventh grade.Only nothing goes right. They're accidentally on cheer squad, of all things. And the sisters are split into different classes--which Darby is failing because of her terrible participation grade. Meanwhile, Delaney really likes cheerleading and doesn't want just go along with what Dawn wants this time, especially on her cheering crusade. Can the triplets take turns pretending to be Darby, plan a shower for their beloved big sister, and stay out of the trouble Dawn keeps getting them into? And more importantly, can they do it without being split up for good? Three times the teacher's pets means three times the school shenanigans in this fun Brewster Triplets romp from Jennifer Ziegler.
Jeff and his friends are delighted when their strict teacher, Mr. Manlin, is replaced with a string of gullible substitutes. They can't believe their luck -- until Ms. Wilder shows up!
The lunch ladies will finally have their revenge! From the lunch ladies getting back at kids who complain about cafeteria food, to principals who disappear into thin air, school has never been so funny. Revenge of the Lunch Ladies is sure to keep the laughs coming with each giggle-packed page. Kenn Nesbitt has created forty-five silly poems and songs all about school. Revenge of the Lunch Ladies is sure to keep the laughs coming with each giggle-packed page. Kenn Nesbitt has created forty-five silly poems and songs all about school. Following the success of When the Teacher Isn't Looking, this book combines Nesbitt's talent and sense of humor to deliver a knee-slapping collection. If silly principals and crazy lunch ladies don't have you laughing, a science project that ate the student's dog will!
“If you ever went to Catholic school, or never went to Catholic school, you need to read this funny, smart, kid-true book. It explains everything.” —Jon Scieszka, author of Time Warp Trio and The Stinky Cheese Man Jimmy Murphy’s sixth grade teacher, Sister Angelica Rose, is out to get him. She humiliates him in class and punishes him when he hasn’t done anything wrong. She even forces him to perform onstage with second graders, wearing a giant green banana costume. A classic underachiever with a talent for trouble, Jimmy wants revenge, and with his friends he plans a prank that will embarrass Sister Angelica in front of the whole school. What could possibly go wrong? "This is a light and funny coming of age story. Even students who do not attend parochial school can identify with Jimmy and the struggles that he and his friends go through. The characters are all dynamic and the reader will want to know more about them all. This is a quick and enjoyable read that any upper elementary student will enjoy." —School Library Connection A Junior Literary Guild Selection
Fifty-year-old science teacher Dale Portwit believes that the peak of his life has come and gone. A failed suicide, a food fetishist, so isolated that the Best Man at his wedding is a framed photograph of his former mailman, Mr. Portwit resolves to live entirely for the moment, to speak his mind at each turn no matter what the consequences. He sets his sights upon Mary Ann Tucker, Elkhart Elementary's plump, accommodating third-grade teacher. Their whirlwind courtship leads to wedding bands, a house in the suburbs, and an indulgent sex life -- so why aren't they happy? Perhaps a little revenge is just what this marriage needs. Decidedly odd, yet also oddly moving, Revenge of the Teacher's Pet is a skillful mix of comedy, poignancy, love, memory, obesity, top-ten lists, fish, and murder.
The author of Fat Girls and Lawn Chairsis back with a funny and poignant new collection of personal stories about growing up a misfit. A collection of stories for anyone who shuddered at the idea of senior prom, Revenge of the Paste Eaters is about the way the experiences of childhood stay with us and shape us into adults. Cheryl Peck applies her signature wit to more personal stories and reflections-about hurting people and getting hurt, about discovering who you are and who you want to be, about feeling "not good enough," and about being bigger-physically and mentally-than many of the people surrounding you. This is a wickedly funny view of what it's like to be a middle-aged woman in middle-America, and what really happened to the kids who were different.
Middle school meets the Dark Side in this grimly hilarious survival story of a sci-fi-obsessed eighth grader. Clark Sherman's situation is desperate. He's just crash-landed on an inhospitable planet--also known as Festus Middle School--where the natives don't take kindly to newcomers . . . particularly ones who love sci-fi and memorizing episodes of the hit TV show Star Survivors. Hostile natives include violent bullies, uncaring teachers, and the fiendishly evil Principal Denton, and Clark realizes he'll be lucky enough to survive eighth grade, let alone thrive. But then, three kindred life forms make themselves known . . . and suddenly, Clark finds he not only has the will to survive, but the strength to fight back. Sharp, painfully funny, and deeply moving, Revenge of the Star Survivors is a story for sci-fi fans-- and for anyone who's ever felt alone in this world. Michael Merschel's witty writing, by turns hilarious and heartbreaking, brings Clark's inner strength into the light. Winner of the Texas Institute of Letters Jean Flynn Award for Best Children's Book
George and Harold have to figure out how to fix history in the tenth book in this #1 New York Times bestselling series by Dav Pilkey, the author and illustrator of Dog Man! George and Harold have been turned into evil zombie nerds doomed to roam a devastated, postapocalyptic planet for all eternity! Unfortunately, the boys can't count on Captain Underpants for help because Tippy Tinkletrousers and his time-traveling hijinks prevented George and Harold from creating him in the first place! With Tippy having changed the course of human history forever, George and Harold will have to figure out a way to change it back!
Grimmy is back! And he's funnier than ever in this brand-new collection from Pulitzer Prize winner Mike Peters. Grimmy is the wisecracking, opinionated, cat-terrorizing, postman-chasing, freeloading bon vivant who brings delighted smiles to the faces of his millions of adoring fans in the enormously popular cartoon strip Mother Goose and Grimm.