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It took Brian, my husband, and me some time to grasp the idea of purity while we were dating. After reading our story, you’ll see that making the commitment to purity was just the beginning. We had tasted the forbidden fruit for a number of years. Then I got to know Jesus in a new and powerful way as I recovered from an eating disorder. Brian eventually followed, and we knew things had to change. We had the difficult task of trying to figure out how to have a Christian dating relationship, living in the Garden of Eden, so to speak, right next to the tree but resisting the habit and compulsion of reaching for that fruit. How close to the forbidden tree can you get? Can you actually hold the apple in your hand but not taste it? There is no hard-and-fast rule I can give you for where to draw the line. However, I will share with you some lessons that I learned to show you how to build your relationship together through Christian dating. I will describe some strategies to keep the pilot light of your passion lit but under God’s gentle control. Then, how does it work to take two imperfect people, joined under God to become one in a loving marriage?
In Pure, Linda Kay Klein uses a potent combination of journalism, cultural commentary, and memoir to take us “inside religious purity culture as only one who grew up in it can” (Gloria Steinem) and reveals the devastating effects evangelical Christianity’s views on female sexuality has had on a generation of young women. In the 1990s, a “purity industry” emerged out of the white evangelical Christian culture. Purity rings, purity pledges, and purity balls came with a dangerous message: girls are potential sexual “stumbling blocks” for boys and men, and any expression of a girl’s sexuality could reflect the corruption of her character. This message traumatized many girls—resulting in anxiety, fear, and experiences that mimicked the symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder—and trapped them in a cycle of shame. This is the sex education Linda Kay Klein grew up with. Fearing being marked a Jezebel, Klein broke up with her high school boyfriend because she thought God told her to and took pregnancy tests despite being a virgin, terrified that any sexual activity would be punished with an out-of-wedlock pregnancy. When the youth pastor of her church was convicted of sexual enticement of a twelve-year-old girl, Klein began to question purity-based sexual ethics. She contacted young women she knew, asking if they were coping with the same shame-induced issues she was. These intimate conversations developed into a twelve-year quest that took her across the country and into the lives of women raised in similar religious communities—a journey that facilitated her own healing and led her to churches that are seeking a new way to reconcile sexuality and spirituality. Pure is “a revelation... Part memoir and part journalism, Pure is a horrendous, granular, relentless, emotionally true account" (The Cut) of society’s larger subjugation of women and the role the purity industry played in maintaining it. Offering a prevailing message of resounding hope and encouragement, “Pure emboldens us to escape toxic misogyny and experience a fresh breath of freedom” (Glennon Doyle, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Love Warrior and founder of Together Rising).
The generation born into evangelical purity culture has grown up, but many still struggle with its complicated legacy. Examining purity culture's teachings through the lens of Scripture, Rachel Joy Welcher charts a path forward in the ongoing debates about sexuality—one that rejects legalism and license alike, steering us back instead to the good news of Jesus.
This ground-breaking resource challenges and equips Christians to think and act biblically and compassionately in matters of sexuality. Sexual abuse, sex addiction, gender confusion, brokenness, and shame plague today's world, and people are seeking clarity and hope. By contesting long-held cultural paradigms, this book equips you to see how sexuality is rooted in the broader context of God's heart and His work for us on earth. It provides a framework from which to understand the big picture of sexual challenges and wholeness, and helps you recognize that every sexual question is ultimately a spiritual one. It shifts the paradigm from combating sexual problems to confidently proclaiming and modeling the road to sacred sexuality. Instead of arguing with the world about what's right and wrong about sexual choices, this practical resource equips you to share the love and grace of Jesus as you encounter the pain of sexual brokenness--your own or someone else's.
For the modern Christian woman living in today's sexually charged society, embracing God's design for sex and purity can often feel like an impossible pursuit. As the culture seeks to normalize things such as pornography, erotica, and casual sex, both single and married women of all ages feel immense pressure to conform. With alluring temptations constantly inviting them to join in, they might even begin to question whether God's design is truly good. They wrestle with questions like - What is the purpose of my sexuality? - What does it mean to pursue purity? - Are my sexual longings good or bad? In this encouraging book, Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal share honestly about their own struggles and victories, and invite women on a personal journey to discover and reclaim a biblical vision for their sexuality. Kristen and Bethany help women understand why God's design for sexuality is good, relevant, and leads to true hope and lasting freedom.
Discover a renewed biblical vision for sex, singleness, and relationships, and transform into an empowered woman of faith equipped to navigate today's dating culture with vision, clarity, and freedom. Let's face it: being single in today's culture as a woman of faith can be a STRUGGLE FEST. But it doesn't have to be. With real talk and straight wisdom, speaker, podcaster, and founder of The Refined Woman Kat Harris says it's time for a new conversation about singleness, sex, and desire. Growing up at the height of the purity movement, Kat knew this much: good Christians don't have sex until marriage. But approaching 30 and thrust into the New York City dating scene, she found a set of rules was not a compelling enough reason to keep her clothes on. Caught between purity culture's rules and popular culture's do what feels good, Kat began a multi-year journey searching for answers to the biggest questions about sexuality and faith: What does the Bible really say about sex? Why does almost everyone deal with some sort of sexual shame? But really--what's a single girl to do with her sexual desire? What if we never get married . . . then what? It turns out Kat was asking questions that countless women were dying to ask but didn't know they had the permission to do so. Hungry for clarity, she researched, wrestled, and discovered a God who wasn't afraid or ashamed of sex and desire as she thought He might be. In actuality, God created sex and desire within humanity and called it very good. Now she believes God desires to restore a generation disillusioned with purity culture and Christian dating, discouraged about their singleness, ashamed of their sexual desire, and uncertain how to practically walk this season out well. Join Kat on her messy, sometimes painful, and always honest journey to discovering God's heart for sexuality, desire, singleness, and our purpose within it all.
Sex. Purity. Virginity. Love. Moral Revolution seeks to inspire a culture of love, honor and respect with people who walk in purity, passion and power. This intimate and honest book addresses the root causes of purity issues rather than merely communicating to the masses to "abstain from having sex." It will call you to a higher standard of living, imparting value for your heart and encouraging you to walk in all God has created you to be. Many who have given in to the power of peer pressure and the lure of distorted cultural values will find hope and courage to start over again. Moral Revolution is written for radical and passionate people who dream of being catalysts to a different kind of sexual revolution--one that transforms the way the world views sexuality, defines the unborn and embraces the family. Join the Moral Revolution!
You have been called to a life of sexual success! Every Christian man is born into a sexual war. The enemy attacks the young, hoping to scar them permanently and leave them ruined. But your past is not enough to keep you from the enduringly clean life you want and deserve. Clean is a priceless, no-nonsense resource for every husband, father, brother, son, friend, pastor, and Christian leader on the front lines of this war. It is a soldier’s handbook for those ready to reclaim their homes, churches, and nations for the God who has built them to succeed. Dr. Doug Weiss has been clean for more than twenty-five years, and he has devoted his life to helping other men achieve victory. “This book,” says Dr. Weiss, “contains tested and tried weapons for you to get and stay clean, not for a week, month or year, but for the rest of your life.” Clean provides you with biblical, practical, dependable weapons for seizing and maintaining a clean life for yourself and those you love. You will even be equipped to reach out to your brothers-in-arms and teach them to walk with you in cleanness. “If the Devil wants war, bring it on!” says Dr. Weiss. Join the battle! Your sexual life is worth fighting for!
In an update of the groundbreaking original title, Dr. Juli Slattery illuminates the power of women in marriage, with an emphasis on the uniqueness of a woman’s capacity to build intimacy. What do you do if your husband won’t get a job? When you don’t like the way he's parenting the kids? How do you know when to stand up to a controlling husband—or if you’ve become a controlling or manipulative wife? Many women feel lost in their marriages. They don't know what to do with their disappointment, when to ask for help, or what it looks like to let go of the need to control. Yet, God has given women incredible power in marriage—but they have to learn how to use it. In a complete rewrite of her bestselling book, Finding the Hero in Your Husband, psychologist Dr. Juli Slattery gently guides women to see how their attempts to manage or fix the messiness of marriage may actually undermine the very connection they want to build. As you read this book, you will: See how disappointment in marriage isn’t the end of intimacy, but an opportunity to build true intimacy that will go the distance. Learn to use your relational power in a way that builds intimacy—instead of sabotaging it. Recognize the ways you unknowingly sabotage intimacy by using your power to take over in marriage. Understand what biblical submission isn’t and be empowered to step into the influence and responsibility you have within marriage. Solidly grounded in biblical truth, Juli covers topics such as work, home life, conflict, and intimacy. As a mentor and friend, she offers explanations of God’s design, healthy expectations, and relatable applications that women of faith can practice to influence their marriage and deepen their relationship with God. Ultimately, Finding the Hero in Your Husband, Revisited, will help a wife more clearly see and encourage the hero within her husband by examining her own heart.
When Emily Joy Allison outed her abuser on Twitter, she launched #ChurchToo, a movement to expose the culture of sexual abuse and assault utterly rampant in Christian churches in America. Not a single denomination is unaffected. And the reasons are somewhat different than those you might find in the #MeToo stories coming out of Hollywood or Washington. While patriarchy and misogyny are problems everywhere, they take on a particularly pernicious form in Christian churches where those with power have been insisting, since many decades before #MeToo, that this sexually dysfunctional environment is, in fact, exactly how God wants it to be. #ChurchToo turns over the rocks of the church's sexual dysfunction, revealing just what makes sexualized violence in religious contexts both ubiquitous and uniquely traumatizing. It also lays the groundwork for not one but many paths of healing from a religious culture of sexual shame, secrecy, and control, and for survivors of abuse to live full, free, healthy lives.