Download Free Readers Digest Funny Family Jokes Book in PDF and EPUB Free Download. You can read online Readers Digest Funny Family Jokes and write the review.

In the Reader's Digest Funny Family Jokes we have compiled some of the funniest jokes, riddles, and one-liners that can be shared across generations, around the dinner table or the campfire. Truly, there's something for everyone from 9 to 99. "Knock! Knock! Who's there? Justin. Justin who? Justin the neighborhood and thought I'd come over." Reader's Digest has a long tradition of providing our readers with laughter through our many humor features. In the Reader's Digest Funny Family Jokes we have compiled some of the funniest jokes, riddles, and one-liners that can be shared across generations, around the dinner table or the campfire. Truly, there's something for everyone from 9 to 99. We hope you and your family will take the time to read, share and laugh together. Did you hear that NASA has launched several cows into orbit? It was the herd shot around the world.
Where does a king keep his armies?... ...In his sleevies! Do you have a budding comedian on your hands? Loaded with Knock Knock jokes, riddles, one-liners, tongue twisters and puns, Fun Jokes for Funny Kids will give them hours of new material that will keep kids ages 6-12 rolling in laughter. Knock Knock jokes, riddles, tongue twisters and puns guaranteed to make your kids (and you) laugh out loud. Also includes illustrations and cartoons for extra giggles. Knock Knock. ...Who's there? Boo hoo! ...Boo hoo who? Aww, don't cry--it's just a joke! Knock Knock. ...Who's there? Olive. ...Olive who? Olive you and I don't care who knows it! What do you call an old snowman? ...Water! Which dinosaur knew the most words? ...The thesaurus! What do you call a fish with no eyes? ...fsh! What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator! How do turtles talk to each other? By using shell phones! Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed! Why did the spider go to the computer? To check his web site. Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.
A hilarious collection of the funniest family-friendly jokes, quotes, stories, cartoons, and anecdotes from the past 100 years of Reader’s Digest magazine. A little chuckle every day will keep the doctor away. Editors have mined the Reader’s Digest archives to bring you Laughter Is the Best Medicine, All-Time Favorites, a collection of the most hilarious jokes and anecdotes we’ve come across over the years. As you turn the pages of our newest collection, you’ll realize once again that laughter is always the best medicine. If evolution really works, how come mothers have only two hands? –Milton Berle The game card said: “Name three wars.” My teenage daughter’s response: “Civil War, Revolutionary War, and Star Wars.” Keep your temper. Nobody wants it. –Dearborn Independent Check out this billion-dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell, “I’m just cooking!” Anthropologists have discovered a 50-million-year-old human skull with three perfectly preserved teeth intact. They're not sure, but they think it may be the remains of the very first hockey player. –Jay Leno This collection of laugh-out-loud, clean jokes, one-liners, and other lighthearted glimpses of life—drawn from Reader’s Digest magazine’s most popular humor columns—is sure to tickle the funny bone. Packed with cartoons, quotes, quips, and stories contributed by professional comedians, joke writers, and readers of the magazine, this side-splitting compilation pokes fun at the facts and foibles of daily routines, illustrating that life is often funnier than fiction.
Over 500 giggles, groans, and belly laughs! Kids can’t resist sharing jokes (even you try to stop them), so they always need a fresh supply. We’ve stuffed the pages of this little joke book with the funniest jokes we could find. Old favorites, new favorites, and a few festering stinkers, all guaranteed to make kids laugh out loud. You’ll find Q&A jokes, knock-knock jokes, riddles, and one-liners. And, of course, we’ve included entire chapters of those all-time kid-pleasers: elephant jokes, pirate jokes, and space jokes. Here’s a sampling: What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill. Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny. Why did the hen scold her chicks? They were using fowl language. What kind of books do skunks read? Best-smellers! How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side. . . . and many more!
Every year, Reader’s Digest readers send in tens of thousands of jokes and funny anecdotes, in their quest for a $100 check and, as an extra benefit, eternal glory: to have their joke published in the world’s best-read magazine. One man is stopping them from their quest. Andy Simmons. It takes a sense of humor. And Andy certainly has that. Not only is he the arbiter of all things funny in Reader’s Digest; he is their Mark Twain, Bill Cosby, and even their David Sedaris. In other words, Andy is the guy Reader’s Digest turns to whenever they need a funny story all of America can appreciate. He’s perfect for the job. Andy takes great delight in the funny and oddball side of everyday life. In Now That’s Funny!, Andy presents his most popular, funniest writings on all things America, some exclusive and all-new, some taken from the award-winning pages of Reader’s Digest. You’ll discover the Andy that goes out and tries things. His first-person tales of taking dance lessons, participating in a Revolutionary War reenactment, and even taking stand-up comedy lessons are some of the funniest articles to ever appear in Reader’s Digest. Then you discover the Andy that observes America. His roundups of dumb criminals, crazy lawsuits, ridiculous excuses and out-of-touch scientific research will have you roaring with laughter -- and feeling much better about yourself. Then there’s Andy, the family man. You’ll laugh out loud as he goes in search of his inner macho --or for the next stop on his vacation, if only he can find the directions. And Andy’s observations on marriage and fatherhood are as accurate as they are funny. Finally, there’s Andy the jokester. Here are tales from the job of trying to think, act, and be funny every workday, no matter what the dog did this morning on the rug. Tales of his sit-downs with comic legends from Robin Williams to Woody Allen will have you in stitches. Andy also shares his favorite jokes -- many of them too edgy for printing in Reader’s Digest! Add it up, and it’s a book filled with hundreds of feel-good, laugh-out-loud moments about life in these United States -- exactly the type of reading we need today!
More than 1,000 of the funniest, laugh-out-loud jokes, quips, quotes, anecdotes, and cartoons from Reader’s digest magazine—guaranteed to put laughter in your day. This collection of laugh-out-loud, clean jokes, one-liners, and other lighthearted glimpses of life—drawn from Reader’s Digest magazine’s most popular humor columns—is sure to tickle the funny bone. Packed with more than 1,000 jokes, anecdotes, funny things kids say, cartoons, quotes, and stories contributed by professional comedians, joke writers, and readers of the magazine, this side-splitting compilation pokes fun at the facts and foibles of daily routines, illustrating that life is often funnier than fiction. “If evolution really works, how come mothers have only two hands? – Milton Berle The game card said: “Name three wars.” My teenage daughter’s response: “Civil War, Revolutionary War, and Star Wars.” Why do Pilgrims’ pants fall down? Because their belts are on their hats! Check out this billion-dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell, “I’m just cooking!” Overheard in an office: Supervisor to team leader: "So our people aren’t astute enough to understand these comments on the document?" Leader: "What does astute mean?"
More information to be announced soon on this forthcoming title from Penguin USA
People are funny, but so are the animals we love-and our day-to-day relationships with them can be even more entertaining. Dogs and cats obviously rule the comedic roost, but parrots, parakeets, and other talking birds are often an endless source of amusement as well. Even our connection to bunnies, hamsters, and the occasional white rat can evoke a good laugh. The 500-plus pet anecdotes, cartoons, and quotes in Laughter Is The Best Medicine: Those Lovable Pets have been collected from more than eight decades' worth of Reader's Digest magazines and are guaranteed to cheer up your day. You'll meet the woman whose dog trembled at the "Beware of Dog" sign in their front yard until she told him, "Relax! It's you!"; the vet whose advice to a woman whose cat had swallowed lots of unpopped popcorn was, "first, keep him out of the sun"; the mother-in-law who concealed her way-too-plump piglet's weight loss pills in ice cream; and much more. Our furry or fine feathered friends not only warm our hearts but also amuse us (and our joke writers, too) with their antics-one reason, no doubt, the market for this book is so vast: At the minimum, 40 percent of American households own at least one pet.
A collection of heartwarming, thrilling, surprising and hilarious stories selected from nearly a century of Reader’s Digest magazine. Certain tales stick in our memories and remain timeless as the years march on—and they shine like never before in this compilation from Reader’s Digest. Our editors have carefully selected narratives readers have adored throughout the past century; humorous slices of life in decades past, captivating tales of survival against the odds, sweet stories about cherished animal companions and side-splitting commentaries on everyday annoyances. Each remains as resonant and meaningful today as it was when it first appeared in the pages of Reader’s Digest magazine, such as: A man’s chance meeting with Einstein at a chamber music performance, and another’s encounter with Hemingway A harrowing account of a courageous skydiving instructor’s determination to save an unconscious diver A woman’s first-person tale of remaining awake as she received a brain operation In addition, the book features bonus material never before published in the magazine, along with full-color illustrations and inspiring quotes.
This hilarious collection offers up some of the funniest moments that get us through our day, in the form of jokes, gags and cartoons that will have readers laughing out loud. Editors have mined the Reader’s Digest archives to bring readers Laughter the Best Medicine, All-Time Faves, a collection of the most hilarious jokes and anecdotes we’ve come across over the years. As you turn the pages of our newest collection, you’ll realize once again that laughter is always the best medicine. “Did you hear the one about the hitchhiker who never got anywhere? He’d get up early to avoid traffic.” --Chuck Welch, Houston, TX “When my husband was a home builder, his thumb ended up on the business end of a sledgehammer, and our three-year-old daughter, Kiana, was eager to tell the entire world. When her caregiver asked how the accident had happened, Kiana shook her head sadly and said, “You know, sometimes at work, my daddy just gets hammered.” --Stasia Uhlmann, Rocky Mountain House, Canada “After one of my students acted up, I took him to our school psychiatrist, who asked if he had ADHD. “No,” said the boy. “I just have a normal TV.” –Matthew Hughes, Fort Collins, CO “I’ve been told that when you meet the right person, you know immediately. How come when you meet the wrong person, it takes a year and a half?” --Comedian Phil Hanley