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TeacherLaughsis filled with hilarious and witty anecdotes about teaching and learning from the preschool classroom to the college lecture hall. These selections from comedians and notable personalities including Milton Berle, Ellen Degeneres, and Robin Williams, as well as less well-known teachers and students, tackle subjects like forgotten homework, students who misbehave, and the dreaded parent-teacher conference. Award-winning professional speaker and therapeutic humor expert “Mr. Jollytologist” Allen Klein has carefully selected these lighthearted quips, quotes, and anecdotes to keep teachers, parents, and students laughing through it all. This wonderful volume will help teachers maintain patience, compassion, and, most important, a sense of humor, day in and day out, through rewarding moments and less rewarding ones, from homeroom until the dismissal bell. College professor–someone who talks in other people’s sleep. Bergen Evans Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. Fran Lebowitz When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble. Mark Twain
"Dan Goldsmith has compiled a volume of pure joy... Keep it close when your long hair has given way to a longing for hair... I'd take this book over Prozac any day."Phil Callaway, Speaker and Author of "Laughing Matters." Three Hills, AB(For more humor and laughs visit Phil's website: http: //www.laughagain.org)Dan Goldsmith has done a yeoman's job of gathering far and wide over the years to bring us 'the best of..". I think you'll pick it up from time to time just for sheer enjoyment..."John Coulombe, Pastor, Senior Adults, First Evangelical Free Church, Fullerton, CALeader, Speaker with CASA (Christian Association of Serving Adults)"Danny Goldsmith and I were young together as boys in Ontario. Now we are older and live far apart, but still friends who love to share memories, and to laugh... Danny's book will help you to say thanks for the gift of laughter..."Leighton Ford, President, Leighton Ford Ministries, Charlotte, NC"A wonderful resource of quips and funny stories... You will thoroughly enjoy this treasure chest of senior's wit and wisdom."Allen Powles, Pastor to Seniors and Adult Ministries, Beulah Alliance Church, Edmonton, AB"Jokes, Quotes, & Anecdotes is a helpful book for and about 55+ folks. It is not offensive nor does it downgrade older people. Once you start it, you must turn to the next page for your interest has been caught..."Timothy Starr, Pastor to Seniors, The People's Church, Toronto, ON
"Don't drag me into An ugliness match! The last time I looked Into a mirror I could see clearly, I won't win!" "The horse of wickedness galloping, the tortoise of righteousness crawling. Yet righteousness arrives first at the winning post because wickedness is going in the wrong direction." "Polish is to shoes what education is to the mind." Royal Lines is a collection of vivid quotes, that explain underlying meanings of life's encounters. The author uses humor and wit to re-channel negative vibes into positive attitudes.
What does it take to rise above in today's highly competitive workplace? What will bring you more satisfaction in the hours spent outside of the office? Thirty-year corporate leader Jim Lipuma has learned that many of the measures he implemented in order to build a strong team at work proved equally beneficial in his personal life. Lipuma shares a wealth of his most effective strategies for success in an easy-to-read resource that can change the way you lead your team—and your life. Lead From The Front: 101 Leadership Quips, Quotes And Anecdotes That Will Impact Your Career And Your Life will help you steer clear of the pitfalls, and seize the opportunities that abound in any leadership position. Its real-world approach to management gives you the tools you need to gain allegiance, build trust and confidence, and achieve breakthrough results for a crucial professional edge. From the power of “we” to a firm “no jerks” policy, Lipuma's arsenal of hard-won tactics will ensure that your workplace is rewarding, exhilarating, and fulfilling. Take a page from this invaluable book, and you will watch your world transform from on the clock to off the charts.
Need a thought-provoking quote for class presentation, a speech or paper? This incredible resource is bursting with pithy quotations, insightful proverbs, memorable stories and humorous asides, from people as diverse as Pope John Paul II, Teilhard de Chardin, "Alice in Wonderland" and Christina Rossetti. All are intended to help preachers, teachers, and all searchers and believers find deeper meanings and applications of key areas of life and belief.
When a ship's surgeon during a routine episode of bloodletting noticed that the sailors' blood was brighter in the tropics than in the north, he hypothesized that heat was a form of energy. When a young boy tried to visualize how a beam of light would look like by riding alongside it at the same speed, he began thinking along lines that eventually changed our views of space and time. When a student caught hay fever and went to recover on Heligoland, he started a major revolution in physics. These are but just some of the stories covered in this entertaining book that deals with the history of physics from the end of the 19th-century to about 1930. Quips, Quotes and Quanta (2nd Edition) is unique in that it contains anecdotes on physicists creating new ideas. Often the thinking of the creators of what is now called "modern physics" is revealed through quotes. Thematic and biographical in nature, this book also includes many personal incidents. This second edition has been revised to include new material: a prologue, epilogue, glossary and chronology, and photograph's as well as additional quotes and anecdotes.
The first book ever from an icon of American comedy -- a hilarious combination of stories from his career and observations about life That stammer. Those basset-hound eyes. That bone-dry wit. There has never been another comedian like Bob Newhart. His comedy albums, movies, and two hit television series have made him a national treasure and placed him firmly in the pantheon of comedy legends. Who else has a drinking game named after him And now, at last, Newhart puts his brilliant and hysterical world view on paper. Never a punch-line comic, always more of a storyteller, he tells anecdotes from throughout his life and career, including his beginnings as an accountant and the groundbreaking success of his comedy albums and The Bob Newhart Show and Newhart, which gave him fifteen years on primetime television. And he also gives his wry, comedic twist to a multitude of topics, including golf, drinking, and family holidays. Today, Newhart appears on Desperate Housewives, in hit movies such as Elf, and in theaters around the country. Reruns of his shows air constantly on Nick at Nite -- have recently been released with great success for the first time ever on DVD. With this book, Bob Newhart gives his millions of fans a first ever opportunity to sample his unique brand of humor -- including excerpts from some of his classic routines -- on the printed page.
When a ship's surgeon during a routine episode of bloodletting noticed that the sailors' blood was brighter in the tropics than in the north, he hypothesized that heat was a form of energy.When a young boy tried to visualize what a beam of light would look like by riding alongside it at the same speed, he began thinking along lines that eventually changed our views of space and time.When a student caught hay fever and went to recover on Heligoland, he started a major revolution in physics. These are but just some of the stories covered in this entertaining book that deals with the history of physics from the end of the 19th-century to about 1930.Quips, Quotes and Quanta (2nd Edition) is unique in that it contains anecdotes on physicists creating new ideas. Often the thinking of the creators of what is now called “modern physics” is revealed through quotes. Thematic and biographical in nature, this book also includes many personal incidents.This second edition has been revised to include new material: a prologue, epilogue, glossary and chronology, and photographs as well as additional quotes and anecdotes.
This hilarious collection of humorous quotations, full of wisecracks and wit, snappy comments and inspired fantasy, has been specially compiled by the late broadcaster and raconteur Ned Sherrin, with a foreword by leading British satirist, Alistair Beaton. Now packed with even more quotes and covering more subjects than before, from Weddings to the Supernatural, Australia to Headlines. Find the best lines from your favourite jokesters and wordsmiths, add that extra something to a speech or presentation, or just enjoy a good laugh. 'A chair is a piece of furniture. I am not a chair because no one has ever sat on me.' Ann Widdecombe on the announcement that Parliamentary language will now be gender-neutral. 'No wonder Bob Geldof is such an expert on famine. He's been feeding off 'I don't like Mondays' for 30 years.' Russell Brand On deciding to run for governor of California: 'The most difficult decision I've ever made in my entire life, except for the one in 1978 when I decided to get a bikini wax.' Arnold Schwarzenegger 'Wanting to know an author because you like his work is like wanting to know a duck because you like p--acirc--;t--eacute--;.' Margaret Atwood 'I am so sorry. We have to stop there. I have just come to the end of my personality.' Quentin Crisp, closing down an interview
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