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Why would you name your book "Nobody Loves A Farting Princess"? What does that even mean? Honestly, I have no idea. It's just something my dad used to say that stuck with me. I was very close to my father until he was diagnosed with a stage four brain tumor when I was only twenty-seven. The six months I spent watching him descend from the smartest man I'd ever known into a confused, angry zombie-man was the hardest thing I've ever been through. Even harder than anything I've endured since learning, only two years after my father gave into his cancer, that I have the exact same type. The doctors tell me it's just lighting striking twice. This is the story of my life thus far.
Fart is desperate to make friends and have fun. But no one likes a fart -- not even a fart with a heart. With plenty of laughs and even more heart, this delightful picture book shows that even the smelliest among us can find a friend in this world. It's hard out there for a fart. Too smelly. Too embarassing. Too gross. Striking the perfect balance of gross-out humor, wit, and heart, this beautifully illustrated picture book delivers a message of accepting yourself and finding a friend who loves you just the way you are.
Clementine is in a rut. Overshadowed by her indomitable female relatives - her stern, politically correct mother, Claude, her foulmouthed racist grandmother Mac, and her sassy, brassy aunt Maddy - she spends her time making props for the Drama school (for a pittance) and for her lover Kurt's Art Happenings (for free). Months after graduation, she is still stuck in the soup kitchen which she shares gladly with her housemate, Angus, and less gladly with a horde of free-loading 'guests'. Even her friendship with Jack, her one-time drama teacher, is thrown into jeopardy when a male student accuses him of sexual harassment. When Clem returns early from a visit to her ailing but outrageous grandmother and discovers Kurt and one of his more dangerous disciples 'locked in earnest discussion, their bodies radiating lust', she comes to the conclusion that the situation has to change. Homicide seems like a tempting option, but she opts instead for flight. In a moment of bravado Clem books a plane ticket to Paris and accidentally embarks on a picaresque series of misadventures with unsuitable foreigners, which drives her to the brink of insanity and eventually makes her take stock of who she is and what she really wants out of life.
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • You are cordially invited to the wedding of Princess Leia Organa and Han Solo. The Death Star is destroyed. Darth Vader is dead. The Empire is desolate. But on the forest moon of Endor, among the chaos of a changing galaxy, time stands still for a princess and her scoundrel. After being frozen in carbonite, then risking everything for the Rebellion, Han is eager to stop living his life for other people. He and Leia have earned their future together, a thousand times over. And when he proposes to Leia, it’s the first time in a long time he’s had a good feeling about this. For Leia, a lifetime of fighting doesn’t seem truly over. There is work still to do, penance to pay for the dark secret that she now knows runs through her veins. Her brother, Luke, is offering her that chance—one that comes with family and the promise of the Force. But when Han asks her to marry him, Leia finds her answer immediately on her lips . . . Yes. Yet happily ever after doesn’t come easily. As soon as Han and Leia depart their idyllic ceremony for their honeymoon, they find themselves on the grandest and most glamorous stage of all: the Halcyon, a luxury vessel on a very public journey to the most wondrous worlds in the galaxy. Their marriage, and the peace and prosperity it represents, are a lightning rod for all—including Imperial remnants still clinging to power. Facing their most desperate hour, the soldiers of the Empire have dispersed across the galaxy, retrenching on isolated planets vulnerable to their influence. As the Halcyon travels from world to world, one thing becomes abundantly clear: The war is not over. But as danger draws closer, Han and Leia find that they fight their best battles not alone, but as husband and wife.
The rules of being a fairy tale princess are simple: 1. Always overdress. 2. Always play to win. 3. Share with those less fortunate. 4. Stay true to yourself. 5. And for heaven's sake NEVER fall in love with a WITCH. Princess Mary Melancholy has no idea how to be happy. Self conscious and socially awkward, all she really wants is to believe in something the way everyone else does. Her royal troubles abound since she's engaged to be married as part of a peace treaty between two warring kings and has a weird habit of singing out in public. Mary meets a witch named Salem who is cantankerous, bawdy and banned from the land because of her Evil intentions. But when Salem accidentally kisses the princess and they both feel a spark of attraction, a forbidden romance begins that threatens the future of two kingdoms. The choice is Mary's. Will she believe in love and scandalize the family as The Evil Princess or accept responsibility and protect her people?
Turns out nobody is perfect! Queens and kings; giants and trolls, and yes, even princesses all make mistakes! In this endearing and hilarious picture book by Jennifer Stinson, young readers can take a peek into the marvelous mess-ups and ferocious faux-pas of fairy-tale characters. Rebecca Ashdown's delightful colors and funny expressions will leave readers snickering. Perfect for fans of The Paper Bag Princess and Not All Princesses Dress in Pink. Bottom line: When children realize that everybody else messes up, maybe they'll feel better about messing up, too. Perfect for bedtime and for the classroom. Witches can be very whiny. Kings and queens don't share. Monsters sometimes want their mommies. Mermaids HATE to comb their hair.
This impolite, aromatic, and incredibly erudite flatulence compendium will astound you with: • The recent discovery of the world’s oldest joke, a proverb from the Old Babylonian period, that turned out to be—that’s right, folks—a fart joke. • A new reading of Emily Dickinson’s poetry that “reveals” the true meaning behind “They Have a Little Odor.” • A harrowing account of Apollo astronauts getting inner-space gas from hydrogen bubbles in their drinking water on their way to the moon. • The other Tiger Woods scandal—this one involving a mysterious cheek-squeak recorded while Tiger sized up an approach shot at the 2009 Buick Open. • A scientist who built the world’s biggest whoopee cushion and lived to tell about it . . . . . . and many more wacky but true tales from the fart historian who brought you the best-selling Who Cut the Cheese? and its combustible sequel, Blame It on the Dog. In this incomparable collection you’ll experience firsthand the Jungian implications of farting, the environmental import of “flatulence cards” in the carbon-offset market, and the brutally honest social commentary of a man whose office chair broadcasts his farts on Twitter. After reading this book you’ll proudly proclaim, “I fart, therefore I am.”
Computer code just got dangerous in this action-packed spy adventure seriesAsha Joshi has the perfect excuse not to finish her homework. She's just been recruited to join the top-secret Children's Spy Agency. Her first mission: SAVE THE WORLD. Can she do it? Asha's a coder so she should be able to hack into the biggest tech company in the world, fight deadly sharks and figure out why the Internet has stopped working. All before bedtime. Easy, right?The story is a great way to engage young readers in coding, critical-thinking and STEM. It is mapped onto key National Curriculum Computing KS1 and KS2 concepts including algorithms, conditionals and debugging.
From Cary Elwes, who played the iconic role of Westley in The Princess Bride, comes a first-person behind-the-scenes look at the making of the film.