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In a third zany parody of traditional pocket dictionaries, the popular comedian draws on material from his hit TV show Blue Collar TV to present an all-new selection of whimsical "Redneck" definitions for such terms as "yahoo" and "tenuous." 350,000 first printing.
Brings together all three of the reference guides to redneck culture and linguistics into a single A-to-Z resource that offers new definitions for such words as "iota," "ostrich," and "sandwich."
Clearly one redneck dictionary was not enough. And it’s no wonder. The South is positively bursting at the seams with colorful words and turns of phrases in this distinct dialect. Now men and women from all across this great land can further fine-tune their fluency and showcase their confidence when speaking to folks who hail from below the Mason-Dixon line. Need a crash course in this truly inspired lingo? Well, Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary II puts the “vern” in “vernacular,” offering up a veritable gumbo of must-be-known selections: infamy (in’fe-mé) adv. and n. another person’s intent to exact physical punishment. “Ever since I stole his girlfriend, Bobby’s had it infamy.” assassin (e-sas’-en) v. to disrespect verbally. “Don’t just stand there assassin me, boy–go clean your room!” honor student (än’-er stu’-dent) prep. and n. to be positioned over, and supported by, a pupil. “Yeah, I knew piano lessons after midnight was weird, but I still didn’t suspect nothin’ till I caught her honor student.” So open your ears and activate your funny bone with this hilarious, practical, and playfully illustrated reference. It’s like having your very own personal dialect coach–one who doesn’t mind getting picked up and read and laughed at and passed along to friends.
Hey, you! The one holding the book. Have you ever seen a volume like this? Well, whether you realize it or not, it’s the one you’ve been waiting for. Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary will teach you how to speak this unique Southern dialect fluently. Whether you’re blue-collar or hoity-toity, swimming in cash or betting your bottom dollar, a little bit country or a lot of city slicker, this practical reference to redneck words and turns of phrases will give you hours of laughs. So expand your horizons and learn another language with this fun, instructive, and hilariously illustrated book as your guide. After all, speaking redneck is a heck of a lot easier than speaking French!
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Jeff Foxworthy clearly knows how to talk gooder redneck, especially after two runaway bestsellers on the subject. But for those folks who still need to get in touch with their inner redneck, here’s the third handy reference with even more indigenous idiomatic ingenuity. With Jeff as your guide, you’ll get all the finer points of speaking proper redneck. Here’s your chance to pep up your parlance by learning how to use words and phrases like an• ar• chist (an-ar-kist´), conj., n., and v. additionally, having pressed one’s lips to another’s as an expression of affection or sensual desire. “Anarchist her ma, anarchist her sister, anarchist her gramma, anarchist her other sister, anarchist her other other sister, and then her dad walked in and . . .” i• Pod (í-päd), n. and v. a personal reference to having groped or roughly handled another person or an object. “IPod her for about twenty minutes before I realized she was my mother-in-law.” uri• nal (yer-en-el), n. and v. a declaration concerning the current status or location of the person being spoken to. “If you think urinal lot of trouble now, just wait till Daddy gets home.” No matter where you hail from, Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary III will make you sound like you were born far below the Mason-Dixon line. So shove aside that extra roll of single-ply to make space for this book in your family’s reading room, because three is definitely the charm.
Chock-Full of Straight Talk About America. . . And Some Jokes, Too! Larry the Cable Guy on . . . NASCAR: It’s a lotta good old-fashioned fun started by a buncha moonshiners. Just seein’ all the ZZ Top–lookin’ folks drinkin’ beer, havin’ a good time, and not givin’ a darn is awesome. And that’s just the women! Dieting: I once went on the “liquid diet.” I was supposed to drink nothin’ but liquids for a week. But I got so drunk and sick of that Jim Beam and Coke, I’ll never drink it again. Why his catchphrase “git-r-done” is better than other catchphrases: Ya can’t be at a ball game with two outs in the ninth inning and yell to the pitcher “Bounty is the quicker picker-upper!!” It makes no sense. But you could yell “Git-r-done” and everyone would know what you meant. The red state–blue state divide: Is Dr. Seuss runnin’ the government? Larry’s mom on Larry’s book: “There’s really not much I can say here except for I apologize to everyone ahead of time for the crap you are about to read.” —Larry’s mom Also available as an eBook.
This volume picks the most memorable lines from all six previous books and offer approximately 25 percent new material, including 150 previously unpublished You Might Be A Redneck If... punch lines. Let the laughter roll on.
New York Times bestselling humorist Jeff Foxworthy offers a hilarious illustrated guide to having the most fun possible at work while doing the least—without getting fired The better you are at your job, the longer your hours are going to be. And how many people on their deathbeds say “I wish I had spent more time at the office?” With that in mind, Jeff Foxworthy asks you to embrace the fact that you do stink at work (or secretly want to). How to Really Stink at Work will help you relieve yourself of all that responsibility and accountability—in sections like: • “Becoming Unfireable” (Get your boss drunk and record it) • “AvoidingWork”(When all else fails—that fire alarm’s not there for nothing!) • “Alienating Colleagues” (Nothing says “stay away from that guy” like a grossly inappropriate secret Santa gift) Filled with laugh-out-loud illustrations, How to Really Stink at Work is the funniest guide to not-getting-ahead you’ll ever read.
America's favorite Southern-fried, stand-up comedian and TV sitcom star Jeff Foxworthy brings his humor to the page in this riotous laugh-out-loud book. In No Shirt. No Shoes. . . . No Problem!, Foxworthy examines the hilarity of growing up, love, sex, crazy families, roommates, friendship, mooning, having a crush on your cousin, and the real stories behind many of his favorite Redneck jokes. So get ready: You're in for a helluva good time!