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Minimize the damage to your child before, during and after your divorce. As a divorced father of fourteen years, this book would have made a significant difference in realizing what children go through during this difficult time. Should be required reading for everyone who takes the court’s mandatory parenting class! – George Mendez, Stuart, Florida In all of my 24 years of heated custody battles I have never read such a concise and direct parenting guideline that precisely describes how parents should behave during divorce proceedings to avoid wreaking havoc upon their children and win their day in court. – Jeffrey F. Thomas, Esquire; Board Certified Marital & Family Lawyer Empowers even single parents to regain controls often lost in the shuffle and confusion of divorce. Mixes both a good whack and lots of hugs for parents who have lost their way, with such a passionate plea for common sense that its messages haunt you. – Susie Emerson, R.N., mother and educator A long overdue guide to assist parents in minimizing the damage to their children before, during and after divorce. Children have only one set of biological parents and those relationships need to be preserved and supported. This book should be required reading before commencing divorce proceedings. – George McLain, M.D. Tells me now what common sense should have told me back when emotional trauma clouded good judgment. This is a parent’s guidebook, especially for those too close to see beyond the parents’ issues to value the child. – Carole Balmer, Former Deputy Mayor and Committeewoman, Holmdel Township, New Jersey Finally, a book with such a wealth of information and advice on such a huge topic relating to divorce, and written in a style that anyone in this situation can relate to. It is a “must read” for all family members involved in a divorce. It is both healing and enlightening! – Robyn Mendez, parent, Stuart, Florida
This book is a manual for parents who are divorcing. Written by a licensed clinical forensic psychologist and a Ph.D.nurse/counselor its purpose is to help parents save their children unnecessary anguish throughout the divorce process. The advice and direction contained here are eminently practical-detailing what adults can expect from a custody battle; what they will encounter in themselves and in their children (emotionally, physically, mentally) during divorce; helping parents to make sense out of their children's questions; offering guidance in making decisions for themselves and their kids; and explaining the ultimate importance of putting the child's needs first. What makes this book different and invaluable is that the authors refuse to take a sugar-coated or willy-nilly approach. They have witnessed, firsthand, too much pain an suffering in families during divorce to hold back their strong, direct words and warnings. "We are not afraid to take a stand," they declare up front. "In fact, we believe it is our duty to underscore the needs of your children so they don't get lost or disappear underneath legal paperwork." While they fully understand that adults do not set out to cause damage to their children, they also know that any divorce, if not handled properly, will absolutely cause serious problems to children. Such "proper handling" must include a strategically-planned blueprint that maps out a child's need for emotional health and well-being. In The Best Interest Of The Child guides the divorcing adults in the drafting of such a blueprint. Without it, they plead, "your children's lives will quickly stagnate or suffocate in the mire and muck created by spousal mud-slinging and attorney-posturing." The tone of the book, while uncompromising, also generates strong credibility for the author's words, and easily inspires confidence in their readers. Years of experience as therapists and family counselors allow the authors to present their material with authority, sanity and genuine wisdom. Topics covered include: what to expect when you are divorcing; the stress and fear that children take on; the need for extra vigilance and care toward children; softening or preventing the custody "battle"; the hidden needs of children; and dealing with an uncooperative spouse.
Going through a divorce is always tough, but when a child with special needs is involved it can be especially challenging. This book takes a clear and comprehensive look at every aspect of the legal divorce process, and addresses all of the legal issues that divorcing parents of children with special needs face. The author guides parents through the initial hurdles of choosing the right lawyer for their case, and explains exactly how to work with them to achieve the best possible outcome for all concerned. From agreeing upon child custody arrangements that meet the particular needs of the child, to making provision for child support payments, gathering together the documentation needed to prove a case, and dealing with financial issues such as debts and property distribution, no aspect of divorce is left uncovered. A set of checklists is included to ensure that parents consider everything they need to, and the book concludes with a useful list of further resources. Written by an experienced family lawyer who went through her own divorce when her son, who has autism, was six, this book offers much-needed guidance to divorcing parents of children with a variety of special needs.
Preserving Family Ties was not written to give you a formula for action. Rather, this is a guidebook for understanding. It was written to give a clearer understanding of the complexity in child custody when parents separate. This book provides you the historical context for the changes you experience, and what you may fear. I have written this book to offer parents and professionals that context in which the new reality unfolds. It was written to help you understand that one can move forward best when they a) acknowledge your feelings as you endure so many life changes, often abrupt and unexpected; b) recognize the obstacles and options in the child custody and divorce process; and c) seek support from family, friends, community resources to affect the best transition for you and your children. There is no magic wand to solve problems that parents may encounter, real or imaginary. However, our imagination can play havoc with this journey of family transition. The future we prefer for our children, for each parent, for grandparents and other extended family members, can be far better than imagined.
"This book speaks to the adults who deal with children of divorce -- parents, therapists, attorneys, and judges -- and gets them all on the same page. The authors believe that parents and professionals should be able to communicate with a common language regarding the children of divorce. This book contains much specific advice on how to achieve basic goals: children should have a good relationship with both parents; divorced parents should find ways to make life as normal as possible for their children; and divorced parents and their children should accept the inevitable losses and disappointments and move on with their lives. Children of Divorce is organized around the use of parenting plans, agreements that are developed through the collaboration of the parents rather than imposed by a judge."--Publisher's website.
Long recognized as the authoritative guide for clinicians working with divorcing families, this book presents crucial concepts, strategies, and intervention techniques. Robert E. Emery describes how to help parents navigate the emotional and legal hurdles of this painful family transition while protecting their children's well-being. The book is grounded in cutting-edge research on family relationships, parenting, and children's adjustment, including Emery's groundbreaking longitudinal study of the impact of divorce mediation versus litigation. It provides a detailed treatment manual for mediating custody and other disputes, developing collaborative parenting plans, and fostering positive postdivorce family relationships. New to This Edition *Reflects the latest psychological research, as well as divorce and custody law. *Chapters on understanding and addressing divorcing partners' anger and grief. *Treatment manual chapters have been extensively revised. *Incorporates the author's 12-year follow-up study.
A successful co-parenting relationship is as vital to your child's well-being and health as nutritious food or proper exercise. Research, anecdotal evidence, and plain common sense all point to the fact that children are happier, healthier, and better adjusted when both of their parents play an active role in their lives. Studies also show that the trauma children experience in the wake of a divorce or separation can be lessened when they see their parents getting along. Kids whose parents successfully co-parent feel more secure than those who have limited or no connection to one of their parents post divorce. Co-Parenting 101 is based on the premise that co-parenting is a must, not an option. The involvement of both parents—not just the primary guardian—is the cornerstone of successful co-parenting. This is the first book written by a formerly married couple for whom co parenting is central to their day to day lives, and it offers a comprehensive, personal, and upfront look at how to effectively raise kids with an ex-spouse. Authors Deesha Philyaw and Michael D. Thomas, the creators of the popular co-parenting website, co-parenting101.org, share their own experiences raising their children together, as well as provide professional advice from co-parenting experts. Through practical tips combined with expert parental strategies, this book a great resource for divorced parents with children. For parents, less time stressed out about legal wrangling means more time to be fully present and engaged with the children. By learning to put their animosity aside, parents can focus on putting their kids first.
"Your divorce doesn't have to damage your children..., " Stahl assures, " ... especially if you limit your children's exposure to your conflicts." He knows parents are not perfect, and he uses that knowledge to show imperfect parents how to settle their differences in the best interests of the children. This revised and updated second edition features ideas from the latest research, more information on long-distance parenting, dealing with the courts, and working with a difficult co-parent. A realistic perspective on divorce and its effects on children, Parenting After Divorce features knowledgeable advice from an expert custody evaluator. Packed with real-world examples, this book avoids idealistic assumptions, and offers practical help for divorcing parents, custody evaluators, family court counselors, marriage and family therapists and others interested in the best interests of the children.
"About half of marriages end in divorce, and children of divorced parents experience higher rates of psychological problems. Children's healthy development depends on having continued access to both parents, and Divorce and Co-parenting: A Support Guide for the Modern Family details how parents can work together during and after a divorce for the sake of their children. The authors, a psychiatrist and an attorney, provide a wealth of information for parents, including how to tell children about the divorce; what to expect from the legal processes of mediation, arbitration, and custody; and how to help children deal with their responses to the divorce. Consideration is given to difficulties encountered by both parents and children, with extensive coverage of parenting time, disciplinary issues, establishing a support system or stepfamily, and danger signals that indicate professional help is warranted. A helpful question and answer section and resources are provided, and the book makes liberal use of case examples to help guide the entire family through a difficult transitional time"--