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Maggie Lee is not your average hitwoman. For one thing, she's never killed anyone. For another, after hitting her head in the car accident that killed her sister, her new best friend is a talking lizard—a picky eater, obsessed with Wheel of Fortune, that only Maggie can hear. Maggie, who can barely take care of herself, is desperate to help her injured and orphaned niece get the best medical care possible, so she reluctantly accepts a mobster's lucrative job offer: major cash to kill his monstrous son-in-law. Paired with Patrick Mulligan, a charming murder mentor (who happens to moonlight as a police detective), Maggie stumbles down her new career path, contending with self-doubt, three meddling aunts, a semi-psychic friend predicting her doom, and a day job she hates. Oh, and let's not forget about Paul Kowalski, the sexy beat cop who could throw her ass in jail if he finds out what she's up to. Training has never been so complicated! And, this time, Maggie has to get the job done. Because if she doesn't . . . she's the mob's next target.
You know things are out of hand in Maggie Lee’s world when the least of her problems is tripping over a body. Her family has lost their home. Her friend, Armani, has lost her psychic mojo. And Maggie’s in danger of losing custody of her niece. Making matters even worse is she can't refuse the latest job from her mobster boss. Not to mention she must team up with her murder mentor, Patrick Mulligan, and that's….complicated. Innocents are at risk, lives are in danger, and a family secret could change everything.
Family is everything. That’s the motto Maggie Lee lives by. She’s proven that she’ll do anything (even become an assassin…albeit an inept one, as God likes to remind her) to take care of those she loves. Even when they drive her crazy. But as Maggie attempts to reunite a young boy with his mother, her own family is in danger of falling apart. The human members are facing a heartbreaking loss, the animals are mutinying against one of their own, and a missing skull is causing trouble for everyone. Maggie may be able to save an innocent’s life, but can she save her family?
Bumbling hitwoman Maggie Lee has discovered the sister she thought was dead might be alive. She’s desperate to find her, but all of her bosses are making unreasonable demands. Demands she can’t afford not to meet. Once again, Delveccio, the chocolate pudding loving mob boss, needs someone whacked. Her obnoxious boss at her day job insists she intervene on his behalf with her semi-psychic friend, Armani. And the mysterious organization with the power to put her almost-lover Patrick behind bars has saddled her with an annoying new partner and sent her on a mission that has gone to the dogs. With the clock ticking, Maggie (along with her snarky lizard, dyslexic Doberman and Southern belle cat) does her best to pull off every job without winding up in jail or dead…but is her best good enough?
Not paying attention can get you killed. As an assassin, albeit a part-time, inept one, Maggie Lee should know that. But she got distracted. Easy enough to do when you have a large dysfunctional family, a menagerie of talking pets, and more than one boss. One distraction has resulted in her agreeing to participate in a fundraiser spearheaded by her Aunt Loretta. Now Miserable Maggie is about to be auctioned off to the highest bidder. Another could land her in some very hot water. With all these distractions she’s stretched thin and itchy (sooo itchy!). If she isn’t careful, she could end up dead…but hey, at least she wouldn’t have to go on the charity date.
Imagine a high-strung, comfort loving hitwoman at a rustic spiritual retreat. Things are finally looking up for Maggie Lee. Her almost-lover Patrick is taking steps (albeit deadly ones) to insure they’ll have a future together, her niece Katie is about to be released from the hospital, her sister Marlene has stopped turning tricks and started tossing pizzas, and Maggie has a chance to land a new (legal) job. If only God would stop hounding her to apologize to her mother, Maggie would be pretty close to content with her life. When Maggie agrees to take out a new target, using a spiritual retreat as her cover story, she ends up with a spoon (long story), an odd, selectively mute roommate, and a chance to save a life. As Maggie struggles to balance all the important people in her life and deliver on the deadly contract, she begins to believe that God may be right about the act of contrition he’s demanded…but will she live long enough to do it?
Maggie Lee is just doing the right thing when she drives her boyfriend to the hospital so that he can donate part of his liver to a stranger, but things quickly go wrong. On her way home, Maggie witnesses a car crash and rushes to try to help the driver, but he is dying. He implores her to help him "make things right" by finding his "real" Last Will & Testament, but then passes before he can tell her exactly where it is hidden. Feeling obligated to fulfill the man's dying wish, she does her best to decipher cryptic clues and searches for the missing document. Soon she discovers that she's not the only one looking for it, and that's when things get dangerous.
I met my husband on the same day I committed my very last murder. There's a joke in there somewhere, about ending two men's lives.' Olivia Hodges used to do horrible things - back when she worked for a Spanish crime syndicate - but she fled that life and moved home to Australia, building a family in the hippie, hipster community of the Dandenong Ranges. When a small-time criminal gang brings tragedy to her family, superstitious Olivia believes it's the universe demanding payment for her crimes. She wants revenge, but has to get it without adding to her karmic debt. So she creates situations where these bad men get themselves killed through their anger, ego and greed - all while trying to mislead the cops long enough to finish what she started.
What could possibly go wrong when a girls’ night out is arranged by Armani Vasquez? Maggie Lee is about to find out. When Maggie humors her quirky, psychic friend and agrees to a long-delayed night of “fun” she has to deal with the uniquely challenging dynamics of her female friends and family, a roomful of people who could potentially reveal her secret life, and a distraught, emotional support guinea pig. Not to mention that her mom, who’s out on a temporary pass from the nut house, claims to have witnessed a murder. It’s going to be a memorable night for Maggie and the girls, but will it prove deadly?
A romantic room, gourmet meals, free booze, massages…that’s what Maggie is promised when she’s sent away on a pet-friendly romantic getaway. Crazy fellow guests, a missing couple, a human skull, and someone trying to kill her is what she ends up getting. With the help of the core members of her menagerie and a new furry friend, Maggie tries to figure out what’s going on while staying alive and how to salvage her romantic weekend. But a killer has other plans…