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Hissy fits come in all shapes and sizes. Mostly, they're just for show, but it pays to get out of the way when some creatures flip their lids!
"Andrews is at her best in this thoroughly satisfying story with the right blend of mystery, romance, and sharply funny writing." — Orlando Sentinel A delicious tale of revenge and renovation from New York Times bestselling author Mary Kay Andrews The night before her wedding, in the middle of an oh-so-smart rehearsal dinner, interior decorator Keeley Murdock chances upon her fiancé and maid of honor in flaming flagrante delicto. Keeley throws the hissy fit to end all hissy fits, storms out and earns herself instant notoriety in her tiny hometown of Madison, GA. The next day, though, she has to deal not only with a broken engagement but also with her business being shut out by folks in a town financially obligated to her ex. Rescue comes in the form of the new owner of the local bra plant. A hunk of a guy, Keeley can’t decide if he’s a hopeless romantic or hopelessly weird. Either way, he’s hired her to redo the broken-down antebellum mansion he’s bought for the woman of his dreams. The woman—now here’s the weird part—that he’s never met. Or maybe he just has.
The triumphant concluding volume in David Crystal's classic trilogy on the English language combines the first history of English punctuation with a complete guide on how to use it. Behind every punctuation mark lies a thousand stories. The punctuation of English, marked with occasional rationality, is founded on arbitrariness and littered with oddities. For a system of a few dozen marks it generates a disproportionate degree of uncertainty and passion, inspiring organizations like the Apostrophe Protection Society and sending enthusiasts, correction-pens in hand, in a crusade against error across the United States. Professor Crystal leads us through this minefield with characteristic wit, clarity, and commonsense. In David Crystal's Making a Point, he gives a fascinating account of the origin and progress of every kind of punctuation mark over one and a half millennia and offers sound advice on how punctuation may be used to meet the needs of every occasion and context.
In this rollicking, hilarious comedy, the Doublewide, Texas, gang is back and life in their tiny town has gotten crazier than ever! Just when things are looking up—the population has grown to seventeen mobile homes and a weekend farmers’ market—the rug is pulled out from under the residents yet again. It seems their vacation rental trailer has drawn unwanted attention from a mega-corporation in Austin. Suddenly the corporation is interested in Doublewide. Waaaay too interested. Mayor Joveeta Crumpler is the only one suspicious enough to sound the alarm, but no one is listening. Her mother, Caprice, is too self-involved with her “career” as a local celebrity to sense the growing threat, or to even realize that grumpy old Haywood Sloggett is increasingly drawn to her—and Sloggett is fighting those romantic feelings tooth and nail. Caprice is also hell-bent on keeping her neighbor and rival, Big Ethel Satterwhite, from horning in on her domain—the Stagger Inn bar. Big Ethel has her hands full trying to teach the town’s good-ol’-boy police chief, Baby Crumpler, how to dirty-dance for a countywide competition. But Baby’s got as much chance of winning as Georgia Dean Rudd has of not jinxing her relationship with Nash Sloggett—she’s twisting herself into knots trying to dodge his constant marriage proposals. And as the danger to the town grows, Joveeta can’t even count on the usually reliable and sweet health fanatic Lark Barken—because she’s currently under the spell of a demon she’s only recently discovered: caffeine. But as the tentacles of the corporation envelope them all, can the citizens of this little Texas town put aside their problems and unite behind Joveeta to fight “the big guys” and turn the tide in Doublewide? A heap of hilarity with a whole lot of heart—and a stand-alone play in its own right—HONKY TONK HISSY FIT is the third comedy in the trilogy that begins with Doublewide, Texas and continues with A Doublewide, Texas Christmas. By the triumphant finale of this ferociously funny Jones Hope Wooten comedy (Could there be a double wedding in Doublewide?), you’ll be throwing fits, alright—fits of laughter that’ll make your sides ache!
32 page hardback book.Charley is excited Because it's Potluck Day! Mom and Dad want to be sure Charley knows how to behave. As Charley learns her manners Your children learn them, too, So when they're out in public They know just what to do. Follow along and help your child Learn manners through fun rhymes, Then read the book again because You'll be laughing the whole time.
Hissy Fitz lives with some two-legged creatures who are destined to serve him in every possible way and understand his every whim. Sadly, these creatures are sorely lacking in their skills. For one thing—they touch him when they want to touch him. Don't they know that the two-legged are there for him to touch when he wants to—meaning when he wants food? Petting wakes him up! They speak to him—don't they know the two-legged should be seen (so Hissy knows where to demand food from) and not heard?! It's becoming intolerable. What is this irascible cat to do?
THE STORY: In this hilarious, fast-paced comedy, the inhabitants of one of the smallest trailer parks in Texas—four doublewides and a shed—are thrown for a loop when they realize the nearby town of Tugaloo is determined to annex them. And it’s not as if they don’t already have enough to deal with. Joveeta Crumpler has had it up to here, having been passed over again for a promotion at work. On top of this, she has an ongoing battle to keep her feisty mother, Caprice, out of the local bar and worries that her good-ol’-boy brother, Baby Crumpler, is taking his participation in a womanless beauty pageant way too seriously. Joveeta’s big-hearted best friend, Georgia Dean Rudd, is struggling to keep her diner and finances afloat, but she just can’t curb her impulse to take in every stray cat, possum, and armadillo that wanders by. Then there’s Big Ethel Satterwhite, who’s nobody’s fool. But tough as she is, she’s continually frustrated by her clients at Stairway To Heaven Retirement Village as well as her mule-headed husband, O.C., who shows far more affection for his BarcaLounger than he does for Big Ethel. And all the residents are plagued by Haywood Sloggett, the curmudgeon from across the road, who loathes their “trailer-trash” ways, especially their keeping a life-size illuminated nativity scene up year ’round. But these friends, enemies, and neighbors realize they’ll have to work together to defeat the encroaching annexation if they—and their way of life—have a snowball’s chance to survive being swallowed up by “the big guys.” The rollicking mayhem of this flat-out funny Jones Hope Wooten comedy escalates as the residents attempt to secede from Texas, discover a traitor in their midst, and turn the tables in a surprising and side-splitting finale. So grab your Stetson and come on over to Doublewide, Texas, where life is double the fun, double the joy, and where audiences double over with laughter!
In My Valley, Claude Ponti leads us on a journey through an enchanted world inhabited by "Touims" (tiny, adorable, monkey-like creatures), secret tree dwellings, flying buildings, and sad giants. Clever language and beautifully detailed maps of imaginary landscapes will delight children and adults alike. Ponti himself has said, "My stories are like fairytales, always situated in the marvelous, speaking to the interior life and emotions of children. That way each child can get what they want out of the images: the characters and dreams are their own."
Bestselling Author of We're Just Like You, Only Prettier and Bless Your Heart, Tramp Hang on to your hats! We're in for some fiercely funny weather and crackling-sharp observations from Celia Rivenbark, of whom USA Today has said, "Think Dave Barry with a female point of view." With her incomparable style and sassy southern wit, you'll hear from Celia on: --The joys of remodeling Tara --How Harry Potter bitch-slaps Nancy Drew --Britney's To-Do list: pick okra, cover that thang up --How rugby-playing lesbians torpedoed beach day --Why French women suck at competitive eating --The truth about nature deficit disorder --The difference between cockroaches and water bugs --The beauty of Bedazzlers And much, much more! Whether she's doing her taxes or extolling the virtues of Madonna's mothering skills, Celia Rivenbark will keep you laughing until the very last page.
He is the one that never looks her way.He is handsome and strong.He is rough around the edges and mean.He is everything she's ever wanted.He doesn't even know she exists.Her life is a joke.***She doesn't step on cracks in the sidewalk.She laughs at inappropriate times.She talks when she shouldn't.She is clumsy and trips on air.She is finally on his radar.God help her now.