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“If you love fantasy, funny humor, flatulence, and friends, then Aaron Reynolds has written the perfect book for you!” —DAN SANTAT, author of The Aquanut, Sidekicks, and The Adventures of Beekle Fart Quest: The Troll's Toe Cheese is the fourth book in a hilarious Dungeons & Dragons inspired series by New York Times bestselling author Aaron Reynolds. They've destroyed an evil creature with stink gas, collected barf from a truly hideous monster, and dug through a dragon's dookie for magical treasure. Now, Fart, Pan, Moxie, and TickTock are facing their scariest challenge yet—an angry mom! The Great and Powerful Kevin has promised Pan, who lost her mother when she was a baby, that she could see her mom one last time. But instead, shes sees a distorted spirit of her mother, transformed into an evil creature bent on revenge against those who caused her death. Meanwhile, some new information comes to light, and Fart and friends head out on a rescue mission. Deep within the goblin caves, they search for evidence of their long lost masters, facing goblins, fire rats, floor fiends, and a troll with some seriously disgusting toenails along the way. In this epic addition to the Fart Quest series, our adventurers discover that a true hero is not measured in the sum of their mistakes—but in the difference they make in spite of them.
The #1 New York Times bestselling (mostly true) memoir from the hilarious author of Furiously Happy. “Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.”—O, The Oprah Magazine When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Readers Guide Inside
When things go bad at home, sisters Eleanor and Mike hide in a secret place under Eleanor’s bed, telling monster stories. Often, it seems those stories and their mother’s house magic are all that keep them safe from both busybodies and their dad’s temper. But when their father breaks a family heirloom, a glass witch ball, a river suddenly appears beneath the bed, and Eleanor and Mike fall into a world where dreams are born, nightmares struggle to break into the real world, and secrets have big consequences. Full of both adventure and heart, Riverland is a story about the bond between two sisters and how they must make their own magic to protect each other and save the ones they love.
Nerdy Birdy likes reading, video games, and reading about video games, which immediately disqualifies him for membership in the cool crowd. One thing is clear: being a nerdy birdy is a lonely lifestyle. When he's at his lowest point, Nerdy Birdy meets a flock just like him. He has friends and discovers that there are far more nerdy birdies than cool birdies in the sky.
“If you love fantasy, funny humor, flatulence, and friends, then Aaron Reynolds has written the perfect book for you!” —DAN SANTAT, author of The Aquanut, Sidekicks, and The Adventures of Beekle Fart and his friends take on a new belly-quaking quest in the hilarious sequel Fart Quest: The Barf of the Bedazzler written by #1 New York Times bestselling author Aaron Reynolds and illustrated by Cam Kendell. After crushing their very first quest, young adventurers Pan, Moxie, and Fart are hungry for their next challenge. Luckily, the Great and Powerful Kevin has cooked up something for the trio: Locate a bedazzler—a rare and monstrous creature of truly horrific power—and bring back . . . its barf. But the danger in tracking down a bedazzler is hard to swallow. Rumor tells of a ruthless pirate captain who may be the only living soul that knows where to find a bedazzler. Our heroes must head to the high seas for a mission so deadly, they might lose their lives—or their lunch. Bestselling author Aaron Reynolds and Cam Kendell bring even more laughs, adventure, and silliness in The Barf of the Bedazzler, book two in the Fart Quest series.
The lion is king of the jungle! The great white shark is sovereign of the seas! The timber wolf is emperor of the forests! But . . . it's lonely at the top of the food chain. It's difficult to fit in when plant eaters can be so cruel—just because you ate a relative of theirs that one time! What's a carnivore to do? Aaron Reynolds's roaringly funny text is perfectly paired with Dan Santat's mouthwatering illustrations, creating a toothsome book that's sure to stand out from the herd. Plus, this is the fixed format version, which will look almost identical to the print version. Additionally for devices that support audio, this ebook includes a read-along setting.
The pulse-pounding origin story of Captain Flameheart, sure to delight new and veteran players of Rare’s thrilling game Sea of Thieves in this official prequel novel. The Sea of Thieves is a world of adventure. A world of buried treasure, sea monsters, and, of course, pirates. But one name strikes fear into the heart of all who sail there. Captain Flameheart, dread pirate of the Sea of Thieves, is a ruthless warmonger and captain of the Burning Blade. Together with his skeletal fleets he terrorizes these waters and seeks the insatiable thrill of battle. In desperation, the legendary Pirate Lord hires the crew of the Morningstar to stop Flameheart’s reign of terror. Meanwhile, a crew of misfits swears allegiance to Flameheart who offers them an intriguing opportunity to upheave the status quo. In a frenzied race to decide the fate of the Sea of Thieves, these daring pirates must outfight and outwit one another in a quest to uncover an artefact capable of defeating Flameheart once and for all. Plunge into the thrilling tale at the heart of Rare’s multiplayer adventure; the origin story of the Skeleton Lord, Captain Flameheart, and the terrible sacrifices made to ensure his downfall.
This wet, wild, and hilariously illustrated story from a New York Times bestselling author takes readers on a wacky adventure that spirals out of control as soon as our pet hero discovers a narwhal hanging out in his bedroom. Rex Dexter is cursed . . . with brains . . . and daring . . . and more than his fair share of devilish good looks. But also with an actual curse: dead animals keep showing up in his bedroom, wanting him to solve their murders. After successfully sleuthing a series of endangered animal assassinations, Rex is pretty sure he's home free, spiritually speaking. But that's when he finds a two thousand pound narwhal in his beanbag chair. And this tough guy is dead. And super crabby about it. Fishy business is at hand. And as if that's not bad enough, Rex's mom has a stressful new job. His new teacher may be part of a Russian hit squad. His best friend Darvish is distracted by a role-playing game. And, horror of horrors, Rex may accidentally have a girlfriend. Rex Dexter is neck-deep in dead pet problems. And he's determined to solve them. Or let his best friend Darvish die trying.
From #1 New York Times bestselling author Aaron Reynolds comes the third hilariously macabre mystery in The Incredibly Dead Pets of Rex Dexter series. My name is Rex Dexter. Yes. THAT Rex Dexter. The one cursed with the ability to see and talk to dead animals. The solver of atrocities against the four-footed. The savior of the flipper-finned. Save your standing ovation for later, because I have bigger things on my mind. Rabbits. Specifically, dead rabbits. And not just anybunny. This particular gaggle of rabbits once belonged to the Astounding Isabel, Middling Falls’ foremost birthday party magician. One thing has quickly become clear…somebunny hates magic. Whoever it is, they’re attempting to put the Astounding Isabel out of the birthday biz for good. And they’re willing to whack a whole lotta bunnies to do it. It’s a cold cruel world out there. But don’t worry. I’m on the case. And so is Darvish. And Drumstick. And possibly several dozen rabbits. The point is, nobunny pulls one over on Rex Dexter…and his best friend…and his dead chicken. Nobunny.
With whimsical illustrations by Paulette Bogan, Aaron Reynolds has created a hilarious picture book about one rooster's quest for culinary delight. What happens at Nuthatcher Farm when the chickens get tired of the same old chicken feed? The rooster hatches a plan, of course! With a pinch of genius, a dash of resourcefulness, and a little pilfering from the farmer's garden, the chickens whip up a scrumptious snack of chips and salsa. When the rest of the barnyard gets a whiff of the spicy smells and want to join in, it can mean only one thing . . . FIESTA! But when the big day arrives, all their spicy southwestern supplies are gone! It seems that Mr. and Mrs. Nuthatcher have caught on to the flavor craze as well, and the only thing left for the animals to do is to try a new culinary style-ooh la la!