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"There is nothing more alienating than having your pleasures disputed by someone with a theory," writes Lauren Berlant. Yet the ways in which we live sexuality and intimacy have been profoundly shaped by theories - especially psychoanalytic ones, which have helped to place sexuality and desire at the center of the modern story about what a person is and how her history should be read. At the same time, other modes of explanation have been offered by popular and mass culture. In these domains, sexual desire is not deemed the core story of life; it is mixed up with romance, a particular version of the story of love. In this small theoretical novella-cum-dictionary entry, Lauren Berlant engages love and desire in separate entries. In the first entry, Desire mainly describes the feeling one person has for something else: it is organized by psychoanalytic accounts of attachment, and tells briefly the history of their importance in critical theory and practice. The second entry, on Love, begins with an excursion into fantasy, moving away from the parent-child structure so central to psychoanalysis and looking instead at the centrality of context, environment, and history. The entry on Love describes some workings of romance across personal life and commodity culture, the place where subjects start to think about fantasy on behalf of their actual lives. Whether viewed psychoanalytically, institutionally, or ideologically, love is deemed always an outcome of fantasy. Without fantasy, there would be no love. Desire/Love takes us on a tour of all of the things that sentence might mean.
Is love “blind” when it comes to gender? For women, it just might be. This unsettling and original book offers a radical new understanding of the context-dependent nature of female sexuality. Lisa M. Diamond argues that for some women, love and desire are not rigidly heterosexual or homosexual but fluid, changing as women move through the stages of life, various social groups, and, most important, different love relationships.This perspective clashes with traditional views of sexual orientation as a stable and fixed trait. But that view is based on research conducted almost entirely on men. Diamond is the first to study a large group of women over time. She has tracked one hundred women for more than ten years as they have emerged from adolescence into adulthood. She summarizes their experiences and reviews research ranging from the psychology of love to the biology of sex differences. Sexual Fluidity offers moving first-person accounts of women falling in and out of love with men or women at different times in their lives. For some, gender becomes irrelevant: “I fall in love with the person, not the gender,” say some respondents.Sexual Fluidity offers a new understanding of women’s sexuality—and of the central importance of love.
This wonderfully small, thick book--like a box of photos--is divided up into the following categories: bonds (between partners and family members), icons (say, Jane Fonda as Barbarella), observations of glimpsed love or lust, come-ons to further naughtiness, tokens (mostly flowers juxtaposed with women), libidos (lusty acts), reveries (erotica), and obsessions (the sexual unusual). The international array of photographers includes Man Ray, Robert Mapplethorpe, Nan Goldin, Helmut Newton, Sally Mann, Immogen Cunningham, Brassai, and Julia Margaret Cameron. After a lengthy introduction on the history of photography and desire, there's nothing but photos there-on-in. You might just get aroused, or fascinated as to how others are aroused, or intrigued as to how far people go to arouse others. Ewing is director of the Musee de l'Elysee in Lausanne, Switzerland. Annotation copyrighted by Book News Inc., Portland, OR
Esteemed psychologist Daphne de Marneffe examines women’s desire to care for children in an updated reissue of her “fascinating analysis that’s a welcome addition to the dialogues about motherhood” (Publishers Weekly). If a century ago it was women’s sexual desires that were unspeakable, today it is the female desire to mother that has become taboo. One hundred years of Freud and feminism have liberated women to acknowledge and explore their sexual selves, as well as their public and personal ambitions. What has remained inhibited is women’s thinking about motherhood. Maternal Desire is the first book to treat women’s desire to mother as a legitimate focus of intellectual inquiry and personal exploration. Shedding new light on old debates, Daphne de Marneffe provides an emotional road map for mothers who work and mothers who are at home. De Marneffe both explores the enjoyment and anxieties of motherhood and offers mothers in all situations valuable ways to think through their self-doubts and connect to their capacity for pleasure. Drawing on a rich tradition of writers, such as Simone de Beauvoir, Adrienne Rich, Carol Gilligan, and Susan Faludi, as well as her experience as a psychologist and mother of three, de Marneffe illuminates how we express our desire to care for children. By treating maternal desire as a central feature of women’s identity—rather than as an inconvenient or slightly embarrassing detail—we can look with fresh insight at controversial issues, such as childcare, fertility, abortion, and the role of fathers. An “absorbing look at the enormous personal pleasure that women derive from mothering….Maternal Desire is a stirring book that celebrates women’s love for their children and mothering while also supporting their interest in careers and other pursuits” (Booklist).
How can you keep sexual desire alive over the long term? More and more people are finding it difficult to maintain a relationship that is both emotionally and sexually gratifying. In a book that will challenge and forever change how you think about love and sex, clinical psychologist and sex therapist Stella Resnick, PhD, draws on the latest scientific research to explore the love-lust dilemma. Dr. Resnick reveals how early programming can inhibit sexual desire as lovers become committed partners and begin to treat each other less like lovers and more like family. Dr. Resnick’s revolutionary body-mind program will help you recognize limiting old patterns, learn valuable skills for enhancing romantic love and sexual aliveness, and tap into your natural capacity to enjoy emotionally fulfilling sexual pleasure. You'll discover: *A 10-Step Loving Sex Program with detailed methods for deepening the pleasures of emotional intimacy and broadening your erotic repertoire *The latest research in sexology, neuroscience, brain neuroplasticity, and the psychology of flourishing with practical applications for relationships *Real-life stories from the author's decades of work with clients and her own personal journey
He knows how to score …on the field and in the bedroom. But Alex Dare isn’t prepared for the injury that sidelines him into early retirement. Still, if it means working closely with the one woman who ever meant more to him than a one night stand, he’s all on board. But there is no amount of wealth or charm that could persuade social worker, Madison Evans, back into Alex's bed. Good thing Alex loves a challenge. But soon seducing Madison becomes more than just a goal, it just might define his future.
"Once the initial intense excitement of a new relationship fades, we tend to think there are only two options: chase the impossible dream of recapturing that early magic or settle for a less than fulfilling love life. In Quantum Love, sex and relationship expert Laura Berman, Ph.D., the New York Times best-selling author of eight books including For Women Only, Real Sex for Real Women, and The Passion Prescription, offers a thrilling alternative--a higher level of love beckoning us to move forward, not backward. Using the essential truth we've learned from the study of quantum physics--the fact that at our molecular core, each of us is simply a vessel of energy--she explains how we can use what's happening in our inner world to create a level of passion, connection, and bliss in our relationships that we never imagined possible."--Provided by publisher.
An engaging and accessible introduction to the subject, this text explores love and sex as defining features of our identity. Through thirty-nine classic and contemporary articles, as well as original contributions written by emerging voices in the field, Desire, Love, and Identity covers awide range of topics, such as sexual objectification, the ethics of sex work, love and sex online, friendship, polyamory, and BDSM.
In the light of poststructuralist theory, and with reference to the work of Lacan and Derrida in particular, Catherine Belsey argues that fiction - including poetry, drama and film - is paradoxically the most serious location of writing about desire in Western cultura. Beginning with the celebration of true love in contemporary popular romance, and the reluctant scepticism of postmodern novels, she goes on to explore past representation of passion by Chretien de Troyes, Malory, Spenser, Donne, Keats, Edgar Allan Poe, Tennyson and Bram Stoker. Belsey also discusses the role of desire in the utopian writings of Plato, More and William Morris, as well as its treatment by a range of speculative feminists, from Charlotte perkins Gilman to Marge Piercy.
Inquiries into marital patterns can serve as an effective lens to analyze social structures and material cultures not only on the question of sexuality, but also on the nature of a private citizen’s engagement with state and law. Through ethnographic research in courtrooms, community,and kinship spaces, the author outlines the transformations in material culture and political economy that have led to renewed negotiations on the institution of marriage in North India, especially in legal spaces. Tracing organically evolving notions of sexual consent and legal subjectivity, Courting Desire underlines how non-normative decisions regarding marriage become possible in a region otherwise known for high instances of honor killings and rigid kinship structures. Aspirations for consensual relationships have led to a tentative attempt to forge relationships that are non-normative but grudgingly approved after state intervention. The book traces this nascent and under-explored trend in the North Indian landscape.