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Most of us have, at one time, been obsessed with something, but how did obsession become a mental illness? This book examines literary, medical, and philosophical texts to argue that what we call obsession became a disease in the Romantic era and reflects the era’s anxieties. Using a number of literary texts, some well-known (like Mary Shelley’s 1818 Frankenstein and Edgar Allan Poe’s 1843 “The Tell Tale Heart”) and some not (like Charlotte Dacre’s 1811 The Passions and Charles Brockden Brown’s 1787 Edgar Huntly), the book looks at “vigilia”, an overly intense curiosity, “intellectual monomania”, an obsession with study, “nymphomania” and “erotomania”, gendered forms of desire, “revolutiana”, an obsession with sublime violence and military service, and “ideality,” an obsession with an idea. The coda argues that traces of these Romantic constructs can be seen in popular accounts of obsession today.
Is it impossible to let go — despite the pain? • Do you yearn for someone who is not physically or emotionally available to you? • Do you believe that if you love him enough he will have to love you? • When you feel insecure, does it drive you only to want her more? • Do you find yourself phoning repeatedly or waiting long hours for the phone to ring? Do you wish someone would let go of you? • Does an ex-lover or ex-spouse refuse to believe that it’s over? • Do you receive unwanted phone calls, letters, presents, or visits? • Is this pursuit of you creating so much anxiety that it affects your physical or emotional well-being? In this invaluable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward presents vivid case histories as well as the real-life voices of men and women caught in the grip of obsessive passion. Whether you’re an obsessive lover or the target of such an obsession, here is a proven, step-by-step program that shows you how to recognize the “connection compulsion,” what causes it, and how to break its hold on your life so that you can go on to build healthy, lasting, and pain-free relationships.
When love consumes, here's the solution. When does love become an obsession? What are the warning signs? What does it take to guard against it and prevent it from taking over one's life? A psychotherapist who specializes in this condition and a survivor of obsessive love team up to answer these questions and many others in the most current and important book on this phenomenon. With fascinating and helpful advice drawn from real-life case studies and personal experience, this expert team discusses: • The difference between healthy love and obsessive love. • The psychological and societal causes of obsessive love. • Obsessive love from both the obsessor's and the obsessee's points of view. • Proven techniques to avoid falling into the obsessive love cycle. • Concrete steps to break the cycle.
The summer Lisa A. Phillips turned thirty, she fell in love with someone who didn’t return her feelings. She became obsessed, following him around, calling him compulsively, and talking about him endlessly. One desperate morning, after she snuck into his apartment building, he picked up a baseball bat to protect himself and threatened to dial 911. Her unrequited love had changed her from a sane, conscientious college teacher and radio reporter into someone she barely recognized—someone who had taken her yearning much too far. In Unrequited, Phillips explores the tremendous force of obsessive love in women’s lives. She argues that it needs to be understood, respected, and channeled for personal growth—yet it also has the potential to go terribly awry. Interweaving her own story with frank interviews and in-depth research in science, psychology, cultural history, and literature, Phillips describes how romantic obsession takes root, grows, and strongly influences our thoughts and behaviors. Going beyond images of creepy, fatally attracted psychos, male fantasies of unbridled female desire, and the platitudes of self-help books, Phillips offers compelling insights to help any woman who has experienced unrequited obsessive love and been mystified and troubled by its grip. “An ingenious hybrid of memoir, case study, scientific inquiry, and intellectual history not only of unrequited love but of Love, full stop, with a capital L.”—Washington Post “There is no cure for the pain of rejection, although researchers are working on it. Until then, Phillips suggests we ‘honor passion by confining and using it instead of letting it diminish us.’”—Chicago Tribune
Most of us have, at one time, been obsessed with something, but how did obsession become a mental illness? This book examines literary, medical, and philosophical texts to argue that what we call obsession became a disease in the Romantic era and reflects the era's anxieties. Using a number of literary texts, some well-known (like Mary Shelley's 1818 Frankenstein and Edgar Allan Poe's 1843 "The Tell Tale Heart") and some not (like Charlotte Dacre's 1811 The Passions and Charles Brockden Brown's 1787 Edgar Huntly), the book looks at "vigilia", an overly intense curiosity, "intellectual monomania", an obsession with study, "nymphomania" and "erotomania", gendered forms of desire, "revolutiana", an obsession with sublime violence and military service, and "ideality," an obsession with an idea. The coda argues that traces of these Romantic constructs can be seen in popular accounts of obsession today.
Love addiction manifests in many forms, from Fatal Attraction-type obsessive lust to less extreme but nonetheless psychologically and emotionally harmful forms. The most common of these is staying in a bad relationship because of a fear of being alone-the "I hate you but don't leave me" relationship. In ADDICTION TO LOVE, recovering love addict Susan Peabody explains the variety of ways this disorder plays out, from the obsessively doting love addict to the addict who can't disentangle from an unfulfilling, dead-end relationship. Peabody provides an in-depth and easy-to-follow recovery program for those suffering from this unhealthy and often dangerous addiction and explains how to create a loving, safe, and fulfilling relationship. • A seminal work on unhealthy and obsessive behaviors in love, and how to change behavior to have a positive relationship. This third edition includes a new introduction and revisions to the text throughout. • Some symptoms of love addiction include love at first sight, excessive fantasizing, abnormal jealousy, nagging, and accepting dishonesty. • Even relationships with parents, children, siblings, or friends may be addictive-dependency is not always related to romantic love. • Previous editions have sold more than 40,000 copies. "Love addiction is a three-headed serpent that Susan Peabody adeptly slays. This is the quintessential book for any love addict or counselor needing to fully understand this highly prevalent and complex disorder. Susan detects and dissects aspects of this condition not comprehended in other books of its kind. Recovery is possible. This book makes it possible to take the succinct steps necessary toward a loving and reciprocal long-term intimate relationship." —Sudi Scull, M.F.T., C.N., psychotherapist and nutritionist
A Good Morning America Buzz Pick, and A Most Anticipated Book of 2022 by BuzzFeed, The Millions, Goodreads, Bustle, BookRiot, and The Nerd Daily "If you’ve ever felt tempted to ‘keep tabs on’ a partner’s ex on Instagram and then found yourself down a rabbit hole of their vacation posts from three years ago, this debut novel—which follows a 24-year-old New Yorker named Naomi who becomes obsessed with her boyfriend’s former girlfriend—is for you."—Vogue, “Best New Beach Reads” Twenty-four-year-old New York bookseller Naomi Ackerman is desperate to write a novel, but struggles to find a story to tell. When, after countless disastrous dates, she meets Caleb—a perfectly nice guy with a Welsh accent and a unique patience for all her quirks—she thinks she's finally stumbled onto a time-honored subject: love. Then Caleb's ex-girlfriend, Rosemary, enters the scene. Upon learning that Rosemary is not safely tucked away in Caleb’s homeland overseas, but in fact lives in New York and also works in the literary world, Naomi is threatened and intrigued in equal measure. If they both fell for the same man, what else might they have in common? The more Naomi learns about Rosemary, the more her curiosity consumes her. Before she knows it, her casual Instagram stalking morphs into a friendship under false pretenses—and becomes the subject of her nascent novel. As her lies and half-truths spiral out of control, and fact and fiction become increasingly difficult to untangle, Naomi must decide what—and who—she’s willing to sacrifice to write the perfect ending.
Elise I'm obsessed with Aston. He became my addiction the moment I met him at 10 years old. He was my best friend from childhood. He protected me and guided me. I loved him fiercely long before I really understood what love was. We were inseparable. He knew how I felt, and sometimes he would stare at me in ways that made me breathless. But there were boundaries. Lines that couldn't be crossed. Looks that shouldn't be exchanged. Lips that shouldn't be kissed. We weren't supposed to love each other. Not in **that** way. Because, you see, Aston was also my adopted brother... Aston Elise was off-limits, a temptation that cursed my existence with this visceral hunger to have her, possess her, and taste her like she was made for me. I was tormented and on the brink of falling. If I stepped over that boundary, if I gave into my want, I wasn't sure I could survive the disappointment of my adopted parents. We would all be affected. Our lives wouldn't be the way it was. That change was irreversible, and the damage would be permanent. It was a scary thought, destroying a foundation and rebuilding it without knowing what it might end up looking like. But my want for her...it sat in the core of me, growing and growing. And want is a dangerous fucking thing. It clouds your judgment, it makes you weak, and I knew...I knew without a doubt, it was only a matter of time before I cracked. Obsession was devotion. Obsession was mania and need. It was a compulsive urge to self-gratify by wanting, and wanting, and wanting 'til it hurt, 'til you could feel it there in your bones, gnawing its way deeper within you. Obsession was my craze for Elise. She was my impulse. My...pulse itself. It wasn't healthy. I knew that. I didn't fucking care either.
For almost five years, Alex has had one obsession. Her name is Elynn. Alex Hanas couldn't believe that after so many years as a widower, his father was getting remarried. To make matters worse, the American gold digger had a kid-a daughter named Elynn. After months of avoiding it, Alex goes to brunch with every intention of giving his father's new family the deep freeze. But he can't pull it off with Elynn's anxious green-grey eyes locked on him. That was the day his life changed. Four years later, Alex is as close to Elynn as a stepbrother can be. But that's not enough for him. He wants more...and he's done waiting.