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According to my thirteen-year-old son, every superhero has an origin. My origin is a little embarrassing. I wasn’t put into a rocket and sent to Earth by my parents. I wasn’t bitten by a radioactive spider. No, I was merely the innocent victim of a Horrible Swiffer Accident.… Strange things are happening to divorced mother of two Birdie Lee since the Horrible Swiffer Accident. She can sense danger (for example, a carload of speeding teenagers not wearing their seat belts) and spring into action with superhuman speed. She can find out what her daughter is up to on the Internet without even having to snoop. And she’s got cleaning powers ordinary women can only dream of.… Warm, witty, and full of heart, Confessions of Super Mom is the tale of a woman who dares to take a stand against everything from stubborn stains to smug exs to corporate CEOs—and winds up defeating evil in some very unexpected ways.
“Forget the laundry, forget the dishes, escape into the world of Super Mom for a few hours . . . You’ll be glad you did.”—Meg Cabot, author of The Princess Diaries and Queen of Babble Astro Park’s fearless maternal dynamo is back, battling evildoers—and her own panic, as her daughter learns how to drive and her son gears up for his first date. The action never stops for Birdie Lee, divorced mother of two who became a super-powered suburban avenger after a Horrible Swiffer Accident. Busily fundraising for a brand-new stadium where the kids can play ball, she’s also planning a wedding to her very own Super Man. But soon her Super Mom Sense warns her that something’s wrong with the new stadium. And when she investigates, a shadowy figure tries to toss Super Mom out of the game for good.
Sometimes I just let my children fall asleep in front of the TV. In a culture that idealizes motherhood, it’s scary to confess that, in your house, being a mother is beautiful and dirty and joyful and frustrating all at once. Admitting that it’s not easy doesn’t make you a bad mom; at least, it shouldn’t. If I can’t survive my daughter as a toddler, how the hell am I going to get through the teenage years? When Jill Smokler was first home with her small children, she thought her blog would be something to keep friends and family updated. To her surprise, she hit a chord in the hearts of mothers everywhere. I end up doing my son’s homework. It’s wrong, but so much easier. Total strangers were contributing their views on that strange reality called motherhood. As other women shared their stories, Jill realized she wasn’t alone in her feelings of exhaustion and imperfection. My eighteen month old still can’t say “Mommy” but used the word “shit” in perfect context. But she sensed her readers were still holding back, so decided to start an anonymous confessional, a place where real moms could leave their most honest thoughts without fearing condemnation. I pretend to be happy but I cry every night in the shower. The reactions were amazing: some sad, some pee-in-your-pants funny, some brutally honest. But they were real, not a commercial glamorization. I clock out of motherhood at 8 P.M. and hide in the basement with my laptop and a beer. If you’re already a fan, lock the bathroom door on your whining kids, run a bubble bath, and settle in. If you’ve not encountered Scary Mommy before, break out a glass of champagne as well, because you’ll be toasting your initiation into a select club. I know why some animals eat their young. In chapters that cover husbands (The Biggest Baby of Them All) to homework (Didn’t I Already Graduate?), Confessions of a Scary Mommy combines all-new essays from Jill with the best of the anonymous confessions. Sometimes I wish my son was still little—then I hear kids screaming at the store. As Jill says, “We like to paint motherhood as picture perfect. A newborn peacefully resting on his mother’s chest. A toddler taking tentative first steps into his mother’s loving arms. A mother fluffing her daughter’s prom dress. These moments are indeed miraculous and joyful; they can also be few and far between.” Of course you adore your kids. Of course you would lay down your life for them. But be honest now: Have you ever wondered what possessed you to sign up for the job of motherhood? STOP! DO NOT OPEN THIS BOOK UNTIL YOU RECITE THESE VOWS! I shall remember that no mother is perfect and my children will thrive because, and sometimes even in spite, of me. I shall not preach to a fellow mother who has not asked my opinion. It’s none of my damn business. I shall maintain a sense of humor about all things motherhood.
Parents who are fed up with the pressure to turn their children into star athletes, concert violinists, and merit scholars-all at once!-finally have an alternative: the world of Slacker Moms, where kids learn to do things for themselves and parents can cut themselves some slack; where it's perfectly all right to do less, have less, and spend less. Slacker moms say "No" to parenting philosophies that undermine parents'-and children's-ability to think for themselves. They say "Yes" to saving their money and time by opting out of the parenting competition. And they say "Hell, Yes!" to having a life of their own, knowing it makes them better parents.In this witty and insightful book, author Muffy Mead-Ferro reflects on her experience of growing up on a ranch in Wyoming, where parenting-by necessity-was more hands-off, people "made do" with what they had, and common sense and generational wisdom prevailed. We should all take her sane lead!
When Wade Rouse—a rural, public school graduate who grew up more Hee Haw than Dynasty—was hired as the director of publicity at the prestigious Tate Academy, he quickly discovered his real job was to make a few of the very pretty, very rich, very mean mommies of the elite students happy. Enter former Tate beauty queen and sports star Katherine Isabelle Ludington—Kitsy to her friends—who went to an Ivy, married an Ivy, and made a lot of money. Now, she is Wade’s VIP volunteer and a perfectly coiffed nightmare. In between designing Louis Vuitton–inspired reunion invitations, dressing as Ronald Reagan for Halloween, and surviving surprise Botox parties, Wade tries to tame Kitsy and her pink Lilly Pulitzer–clad posse while reclaiming his self-esteem. Following a year in the life of the super rich and super spoiled, Confessions of a Prep School Mommy Handler is hilarious, heartbreaking, and deliciously catty.
MOMAHOLIC is one woman's private, dramatic, and often comical invitation to peek inside a time in her life where everything fell apart and she had to take an honest look at what she was doing right and what she'd been doing terribly wrong. With this simple discovery, her whacky family's season of becoming unraveled found a new glue (other than her blood, sweat and tears) that would re-bond her family and unite them in a deeper and more functional way than ever before.
Rebecca Eckler is a popular newspaper columnist who lives the fabulous life and gets paid to write about it. So when a tipsy romp with her fiancé on the night of their lavish engagement party leaves her unexpectedly expecting, she is utterly at a loss. How will a woman who loves nothing more than a night out on the town sipping cocktails with her fellow party girls survive the pregnant life? Knocked Up is the witty, engaging and refreshingly frank chronicle of a modern woman’s journey into motherhood. We follow Eckler from the first trimester (a.k.a. the longest three months of her life), through the “fat months” of the second trimester, on to the "even fatter months" of the third. Flipping the pages of this Bridget-Jones-style diary, we share in Eckler’ s discovery of prenatal vitamins and nursing bras, ultrasounds and obstetricians. And we experience her growing horror at the physical symptoms of pregnancy: all-day “morning” sickness, fatigue, varicose veins, and cravings. And the weight gain, oh the weight gain. Who knew the day would come when she could no longer put on her own socks? Along for the ride is a cast of characters as comical as any met in fiction. There’s the Sexy Young Intern, a Sophia Loren look-a-like with her skinny eyes set on Eckler’s job; the glamorous friends who continue to drink Manhattans, while Eckler sips Perrier; and the Cute Single Man who knows just when she needs a carton of ice cream or a game of Scrabble. And then there’s the fiancé, living in another city, who, thanks to the miracle of long-distance phone lines, appreciates better than anybody the highs and lows of the hormonal rollercoaster pregnant Eckler is on. Lighthearted, intimate, and very funny, Knocked Up is the diary of a modern mother-to-be determined not to let pregnancy and motherhood change her life. Not. One. Little. Bit.
After the death of her father, Rose Zarelli struggles to contol her feelings and manage her life as a freshman in high school.
“Lays out a plan for parents to enjoy themselves and not be slaves to their children while still offering their kids a warm, nurturing environment.” —Publishers Weekly Parents were here first! How did the kids suddenly take control? Sure the world has changed from the days when children were supposed to be seen and not heard but things have gotten a little out of hand. What about some quality time for the grownups? Author Christie Mellor’s hilarious, personal, refreshing, and actually quite useful advice delightfully rights the balance between parent and child. In dozens of short, wickedly funny chapters, she skewers today’s parental absurdities and reminds us how to make child-rearing a kick. With recipes, helpful hints, and illustrations, this high-spirited book is the only book parents will really need—and enjoy. Includes chapters on: Screaming: Is It Necessary? Bedtime: Is Five-Thirty Too Early? Child Labor: Not Just for the Third World! “Children’s Music”: Why? . . . and much, much more “Harried mothers who have given over their lives to their adorable little angels, beware: This book is the equivalent of a cocktail in the face . . . The book details the glories of saying no to your children, explains when you’ve gone too far in childproofing your home, laments our over-reliance on camcorders (‘a disease’) and suggests that the Tooth Fairy is getting robbed. Best of all, there’s a recipe for teaching your tot how to mix a simple martini just the way you like it—with lots of alcohol.” —Chicago Sun-Times
A searching, eloquent memoir about the joys and hardships of open adoption God and Jetfire is a mother's account of her decision to surrender her son in an open adoption and of their relationship over the twelve years that follow. Facing an unplanned pregnancy at twenty-two, Amy Seek and her ex-boyfriend begin an exhaustive search for a family to raise their child. They sift through hundreds of "Dear Birth Mother" letters, craft an extensive questionnaire, and interview numerous potential couples. Despite the immutability of the surrender, it does little to diminish Seek's newfound feelings of motherhood. Once an ambitious architecture student, she struggles to reconcile her sadness with the hope that she's done the best for her son, a struggle complicated by her continued, active presence in his life. For decades, closed adoptions were commonplace. Now, new laws are guaranteeing adoptees' access to birth records, and open adoption is on the rise. God and Jetfire is the rare memoir that explores the intricate dynamics and exceptional commitment of an open-adoption relationship from the perspective of a birth mother searching for her place within it. Written with literary poise and distinction, God and Jetfire is a story of a life divided between grief and gratitude, regret and joy. It is an elegy for a lost motherhood, a celebration of a family gained, and an apology to a beloved son.