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Have you ever wondered what a guide dog does? How do they know to lead a blind owner? Can they understand traffic lights? Most importantly, how does the owner know where to pick up the poop? This memoir answers these questionsand more. It tells what guide dogs are supposed to do. Theyre smart, loyal and well-trainedbut not all dogs are created alike. Musket is proof of that. Hes definitely got a thing for treats and belly rubs. For the first time, the dog has his say. (Of course he needed a little help with the typing, since he doesnt have opposable thumbs. Thats where author Mark Carlson came in. Still, Musket is the brains of the outfit.) Mark and Musket tell their story with humor, emotion, and Muskets occasional contradictions. And at the end of the day, Musket somehow manages to be a great guide dog too. Confessions of a Guide Dog was written so a wonderful, devoted dog could reach out to those who havent been lucky enough to meet him. Hell make you smile, laugh, cry, and want to give him treats. This is their story. (And theyre sticking to it.)
A loud, wild, cuddly and in-your-face party girl with sky-high hair and a spray tan, the pint-size Snooki has emerged as the breakout star of the wildly successful Jersey Shore. She's been parodied on Saturday Night Live, appeared on almost every major talk show (including Leno and Conan), was featured in the New York Times, and has more than 300,000 followers on Twitter. Snooki also has attracted a slew of celebrity fans, like Leo DiCaprio, Sean "Diddy" Combs, Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, Zach Braff and Tinsley Mortimer. This attractively designed full colour book will feature tons of photos, tips, and fascinating details from American's favourite guidette and will be a must have for fans of Snooki and Jersey Shore. * Snooki Style: The poof never dies; Waving, streaking and bangin' it - my other sick hairstyles; Why orange you tan; The guidette wardrobe - what to rock. * Guidos, Gorillas & Juiceheads: What I look for in a gorilla; Different types of gorillas; How to break up with a guido so he isn't a stage-5 cling; Warning signs that the guy is a creeper; 5 sure signs a guy isn't a guido. * How To Be a Guidette: The Guidette Pose; 12 things a guidette would never do; The Snictionary, or a Guidette's favourite words.
Discover the doggone truth behind those sad puppy eyes. Author and humorist Allia Zobel Nolan caught these silly pooches in action, listened to their mutt-erings, and then offered them a chance to ditch the doghouse...by confessing their canine crimes! For pet enthusiasts everywhere, here's the chance to read what Fido's barking about and howl at the wild photos. Is the dog truly man's best friend? Think again! Add this title to Allia's other two humorous pet books, Cat Confessions and I'd Rather Be a Cat, and you'll never be without a laugh.
Come, Let Me Guide You explores the intimate communication between author Susan Krieger and her guide dog Teela over the 10-year span of their working life together. This is a book about being led by a dog to new places in the world and new places in the self, a book about facing life's challenges outwardly and within, and about reading those clues—those deeply felt signals—that can help guide the way. It is also, more broadly, about the importance of intimate connection in human-animal relationships, academic work, and personal life. In her previous book, Traveling Blind: Adventures in Vision with a Guide Dog by My Side, Krieger focused on her first two years with Teela, her lively Golden Retriever-Yellow Labrador. Come, Let Me Guide You continues the narrative, beginning at the moment the author must confront Teela's retirement and then reflecting on the span of their relationship. These emotionally moving stories offer the reader personal entrée into a life of increasing pleasure and insight as Krieger describes how her relationship with her guide dog has had far-reaching effects, not only on her abilities to navigate the world while blind, but also on her writing and teaching, her ability to face loss, and her sense of self. Come, Let Me Guide You is an invaluable contribution to the literature on human-animal communication and on the guide-dog-human experience, as well as to disability and feminist ethnographic studies. It shows how a relationship with a guide dog is unique among bonds, for it rests upon highly regulated connections yet touches deep emotional chords. For Krieger, those chords have resulted in these memorable stories, often humorous and playful, always instructive, and generative of broader insight.
High school was pretty much like this huge party I wasn't actually invited to, but I still had to show up to every day. Hailey Harper has always felt invisible. Now her dad has a new job and the family is moving to Hollywood. Just what Hailey needs: starting a new high school. As she's packing, Hailey finds a journal that belonged to her older sister, Noel, who is away at college. Called "How to be a Hater," it's full of info Hailey can really use. Has Hailey found the Bible of Coolness? Will it help her reinvent herself at her new school? Will her crush notice her? Will she and the other Invisibles dethrone the popular mean girls? After all, they deserve it. Don't they? In Confessions of a Hater, Caprice Crane's funny—and deeply felt—observations about high school, bullies, popularity, friendship, and romance will leave teens thinking . . . and talking.
Sunday, September 5: Afternoon, my crib Spirit Level: Cheered Out OK, so this was supposed to be the first day of my new, totally fantastic life as a Port Angeles School Titan Cheerleader. BUT instead, it’s the day that I, Madison Jane Hays, got rejected from the Titans and forced to join the dreaded, B-Squad Grizzly Bears. That’s right. My name was sandwiched in between Jared “Jazzhands” Handler and “Toxic” Tabitha Sue Stevens. Oh, and the girl who can’t even speak English, Katarina Tarasov. Yup, we’re one big hairy family. I went from being a god-like Titan to a lowly Grizzly in like, five seconds. My life. Is Seriously. O-V-E-R. I mean, who cheers at chess matches??!! I’m never going to make it to Nationals with a team like this. All I’ve ever wanted to do in life is cheer for the Titans. My mom (the most gorgeous, youngest ex-Titan cheerleader of ALL TIME, BTW) must be so disappointed! How she ended up with such a spastic daughter, I’ll never know. What I DO know? If I don’t whip this team into shape fast, I’ll literally DIE from embarrassment. Thank goodness I have my BFFs Lanie and Evan to keep me sane—otherwise, I might SERIOUSLY lose it. When Maddy's triple flip becomes a major FLOP during tryouts, the whole gym echoes with the snickers from the Titan cheerleading triumvirate: Katie Parker, Clementine Prescott, and Hilary Cho. Forced to join the challenged B-Squad Grizzlies instead, Maddy realizes that to become a Titan she'll need to whip the Grizzlies into shape first. Will Maddy ever land on top of the pyramid with a squad like this? Maybe not, but when her awesome designs for new Grizzly uniforms get revealed at a big game, even the Titans are overheard whispering her name. Does this mean what she thinks it means?
Have you ever wondered how a Guide Dog knows how to lead a blind person? How they protect their owner from harm in crossing busy streets, into stores and restaurants, and even travel on airlines and cruise ships? Here is your chance to find out. Up to a point, that is. This is the long-awaited sequel to the popular and insightful Confessions of a Guide Dog - The Blonde Leading the Blind by Musket. Confessions of a Labradiva - Another Blonde Leading the Blind is the story of Saffron, who began working with Mark Carlson in September of 2012. While Saffron is certainly a well-trained Guide Dog, loving, loyal and devoted, she is not just another blonde. She is a Labradiva, a unique breed of Yellow Labrador. In Confessions of a Labradiva you will follow Saffron , as Mark does, from her birth at Guide Dogs for the Blind, through puppy raising and Guide Dog training and into a remarkable life as a working dog. That might be more than enough for most Guide Dog books, but not for Saffron the Labradiva! Mark Carlson, who did most of the actual writing relates how he, Jane and Musket came to welcome and love Saffron, who was as different from her big brother as could be. Saffron has touched and enriched the lives of people all over the country, been loved by men and women of the Greatest Generation, and has touched hearts with her wagging tail and soft tongue. All she ever ask for in return was belly rubs and treats, especially treats. Confessions of a Labradiva - Another Blonde Leading the Blind is written in the same mischievous and indulgent style as the first book. It is meant to make the reader laugh and cry, shake their heads at the absurdities and smile at the victories. She is cute and comical, sweet and sassy, devoted and a bit devilish. Read on and you’ll see what we mean. It is not your typical Guide Dog book, but then Saffron is not your typical Guide Dog. This is her story...and she is sticking to it!
Despicable Me meets Diary of a Wimpy Kid in this hilarious illustrated middle grade adventure that follows a hapless warlock-in-training as he struggles to live up to his great and terrible destiny. Meet Wick. He's the son of the Dark Lord, heir to the throne of black and broken glass, and next in line to be the leader of the Grim World. Too bad he's stuck in Remedial Spell Casting (he can barely even cast the fart-revealer spell), he's allergic to fire and brimstone, and the bullies at school insist on calling him Dork Lord. Full of humor, hijinks, and lively illustrations, Confessions of a Dork Lord follows Wick through the pages of his journal as he comes up with a genius plan to defeat his foes, achieve greatness . . . and survive Middle Ages School. "I loved every page, and your kid will too!" --Melissa de la Cruz, bestselling author of the Descendants series "It's not easy being bad. But this book will give you a head start." --Pseudonymous Bosch, bestselling author of the Secret series "Hilarious! Not to be missed!" --Eoin Colfer, bestselling author of the Artemis Fowl series
The one-liners fly like rockets in THE NEW CENTURY, the rollicking bill of short plays by Paul Rudnick...Building on time-honored traditions within gay and Jewish humor, Mr. Rudnick turns stereotypes into bullet-deflecting armor and jokes into an inexhaust Compelling drama...deliriously entertaining. --The New Yorker. Hilarious...raw and revealing. --EdgeNewYork.com. Playwright Jason Chimonides' script abounds with witty remarks, dirty allusions, and random tangents where high art and popular culture collide
In this New York Times bestseller, brilliant detective Tandy Angel is meeting her lost love in Paris . . . but when he becomes more distant, she starts to question everything she knows. Is there anyone she can trust? After investigating multiple homicides and her family's decades-old skeletons in the closet, Tandy Angel is finally reunited with her lost love in Paris. But as he grows increasingly distant, she is confronted with disturbing questions about him, as well as what really happened to her long-dead sister. With no way to tell anymore who in her life she can trust, how will Tandy ever get to the bottom of the countless secrets her parents kept from her? James Patterson leads this brilliant teenage detective through Paris on a trail of lies years in the making, with shocking revelations around every corner.