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A thought-provoking and much-needed look at how modern masculinity is harming and holding back men—and all of society—and what we can do to promote a new masculinity that allows men of all ages to thrive. In Better Boys, Better Men, cultural critic and New York Times contributor Andrew Reiner argues that men today are working on an outdated model of masculinity, which prevents them in moments of distress and vulnerability from marshalling the courage, strength, and resiliency—the very characteristics we regularly champion in men—they need to thrive in a world vastly different from the ones their fathers and grandfathers grew up in. According to Reiner, this outdated model of manhood can have devastating effects on the entire culture and, especially boys and men, from falling behind in the classroom and rising male unemployment rates to increased levels of depression and disturbing upticks in violence on a mass scale. Reiner interviews boys and men of all ages, educators, counselors, therapists, and physicians throughout the United States to better understand what factors are preventing the country’s boys and men from developing the emotional resiliency they need. He also introduces readers to the boys and men at the vanguard of a new masculinity that empowers them to find and express the full range of their humanity. Urgent and necessary, Better Boys, Better Men will change the way we talk about boys and men in America today.
"If you are the parent of a boy . . . this is the book you need . . . insightful, enlightened, practical." —Peggy Orenstein, New York Times bestselling author of Boys & Sex From the dad who created the viral tweet supporting his son wearing nail polish, this essential parenting guide shares 36 parenting tips for battling gender norms, bringing down "man up" culture, and helping sons realize their potential. Our boys are in a crisis. Toxic masculinity and tough guy-ism are on display daily from our leaders, and we see anger, dysfunction, violence, and depression in young men who are suffocated by harmful social codes. Our young sons are told to stop throwing like a girl. They hear phrases like “man up” when they cry. They are told “boys will be boys” when they behave badly. The “Girl Power” movement has encouraged women to be whoever and do whatever they want, but that sentiment is not often extended to boys. Just watch the bullying when boys try ballet, paint their fingernails, or play with a doll. But we can treat this problem—and the power lies in the hands of parents. It's not only possible to raise boys who aren't emotionally stifled and shoved into stereotypical gender boxes; it's vital if we want a generation of men who can express their emotions, respect women, and help nurse society back to a halfway healthy place. We can reframe manhood. From Aaron Gouveia, who gained viral fame after tweeting his support for his son’s painted fingernails (and who knows toxic masculinity very well), learn practical and actionable tips such as: Don’t accept different standards for moms and dads Teach boys that “girl” is not an insult and retire phrases like “boys will be boys” Show boys that expressing their emotions and being physical is a good thing Let boys pursue nontraditional interests and hobbies Talk to boys about consent and privilege Model healthy and respectful relationships for boys to emulate Penned with equal parts humor, biting snark, and lived advice, Raising Boys to Be Good Men is the essential parenting guide for raising sons to realize their potential outside the box. ​
Discusses successful ways to raise children to be responsible, honest and loving adults.
The task is simple: Don a disguise. Survive the labyrinth . . . Best the boys. Every year for the past fifty-four years, the residents of Pinsbury Port have received a mysterious letter inviting all eligible-aged boys to compete for an esteemed scholarship to the all-male Stemwick University. The poorer residents look to see if their names are on the list. The wealthier look to see how likely their sons are to survive. And Rhen Tellur opens it to see if she can derive which substances the ink and parchment are created from, using her father’s microscope. In the province of Caldon, where women train in wifely duties and men pursue collegiate education, sixteen-year-old Rhen Tellur wants nothing more than to become a scientist. As the poor of her seaside town fall prey to a deadly disease, she and her father work desperately to find a cure. But when her mum succumbs to it as well? Rhen decides to take the future into her own hands—through the annual all-male scholarship competition. With her cousin, Seleni, by her side, the girls don disguises and enter Mr. Holm’s labyrinth, to best the boys and claim the scholarship prize. Except not everyone is ready for a girl who doesn’t know her place. And not everyone survives the deadly maze. Welcome to the labyrinth. Praise for To Best the Boys: “Atmospheric, romantic, inspiring.” —KRISTEN CICCARELLI, internationally bestselling author of The Last Namsara "Smart, determined, and ready to take on the world: Rhen Tellur is an outstanding heroine with every reason to win a competition historically intended for boys." —Jodi Meadows, New York Times bestselling author of The Incarnate Trilogy and coauthor of My Lady Jane A “Hunger Games/Handmaid’s Tale mash-up.” —BN Teen Blog
"A guide to the stages and issues in boys' development from birth to manhood"--Provided by publisher.
A nonfiction investigation into masculinity, For The Love of Men provides actionable steps for how to be a man in the modern world, while also exploring how being a man in the world has evolved. In 2019, traditional masculinity is both rewarded and sanctioned. Men grow up being told that boys don’t cry and dolls are for girls (a newer phenomenon than you might realize—gendered toys came back in vogue as recently as the 80s). They learn they must hide their feelings and anxieties, that their masculinity must constantly be proven. They must be the breadwinners, they must be the romantic pursuers. This hasn’t been good for the culture at large: 99% of school shooters are male; men in fraternities are 300% (!) more likely to commit rape; a woman serving in uniform has a higher likelihood of being assaulted by a fellow soldier than to be killed by enemy fire. In For the Love of Men, Liz offers a smart, insightful, and deeply-researched guide for what we're all going to do about toxic masculinity. For both women looking to guide the men in their lives and men who want to do better and just don’t know how, For the Love of Men will lead the conversation on men's issues in a society where so much is changing, but gender roles have remained strangely stagnant. What are we going to do about men? Liz Plank has the answer. And it has the possibility to change the world for men and women alike.
At a time when many boys are in crisis, a much-needed roadmap for helping boys grow into strong and compassionate men Over the past two decades there has been an explosion of new studies that have expanded our knowledge of how boys think and feel. In How to Raise a Boy, psychologist Michael Reichert draws on his decades of research to challenge age-old conventions about how boys become men. Reichert explains how the paradigms about boys needing to be stoic and "man like" can actually cause them to shut down, leading to anger, isolation, and disrespectful or even destructive behaviors. The key to changing the culture lies in how parents, educators, and mentors help boys develop socially and emotionally. Reichert offers readers step-by-step guidance in doing just this by: Listening and observing, without judgment, so that boys know they're being heard. Helping them develop strong connections with teachers, coaches, and other role models Encouraging them to talk about their feelings about the opposite sex and stressing the importance of respecting women Letting them know that they don't have to "be a man" or "suck it up," when they are experiencing physical or emotional pain. Featuring the latest insights from psychology and neuroscience, How to Raise a Boy will help those who care for young boys and teenagers build a boyhood that will enable them to grow into confident, accomplished and kind men.
ÒBoys are emotionally illiterate and donÕt want intimate friendships.Ó In this empirically grounded challenge to our stereotypes about boys and men, Niobe Way reveals the intense intimacy among teenage boys especially during early and middle adolescence. Boys not only share their deepest secrets and feelings with their closest male friends, they claim that without them they would go Òwacko.Ó Yet as boys become men, they become distrustful, lose these friendships, and feel isolated and alone. Drawing from hundreds of interviews conducted throughout adolescence with black, Latino, white, and Asian American boys, Deep Secrets reveals the ways in which we have been telling ourselves a false story about boys, friendships, and human nature. BoysÕ descriptions of their male friendships sound more like Òsomething out of Love Story than Lord of the Flies.Ó Yet in late adolescence, boys feel they have to Òman upÓ by becoming stoic and independent. Vulnerable emotions and intimate friendships are for girls and gay men. ÒNo homoÓ becomes their mantra. These findings are alarming, given what we know about links between friendships and health, and even longevity. Rather than a Òboy crisis,Ó Way argues that boys are experiencing a Òcrisis of connectionÓ because they live in a culture where human needs and capacities are given a sex (female) and a sexuality (gay), and thus discouraged for those who are neither. Way argues that the solution lies with exposing the inaccuracies of our gender stereotypes and fostering these critical relationships and fundamental human skills.
The stunning success of Reviving Ophelia, Mary Pipher’s landmark book, showed a true and pressing need to address the emotional lives of girls. Now, finally, here is the book that answers our equally timely and critical need to understand our boys. In Raising Cain, Dan Kindlon, Ph.D., and Michael Thompson, Ph.D., two of the country’s leading child psychologists, share what they have learned in more than thirty-five years of combined experience working with boys and their families. They reveal a nation of boys who are hurting—sad, afraid, angry, and silent. Statistics point to an alarming number of young boys at high risk for suicide, alcohol and drug abuse, violence and loneliness. Kindlon and Thompson set out to answer this basic, crucial question: What do boys need that they’re not getting? They illuminate the forces that threaten our boys, teaching them to believe that “cool” equals macho strength and stoicism. Cutting through outdated theories of “mother blame,” “boy biology,” and "testosterone,” Kindlon and Thompson shed light on the destructive emotional training our boys receive—the emotional miseducation of boys. Through moving case studies and cutting-edge research, Raising Cain paints a portrait of boys systematically steered away from their emotional lives by adults and the peer “culture of cruelty”—boys who receive little encouragement to develop qualities such as compassion, sensitivity, and warmth. The good news is that this doesn't have to happen. There is much we can do to prevent it. Kindlon and Thompson make a compelling case that emotional literacy is the most valuable gift we can offer our sons, urging parents to recognize the price boys pay when we hold them to an impossible standard of manhood. They identify the social and emotional challenges that boys encounter in school and show how parents can help boys cultivate emotional awareness and empathy—giving them the vital connections and support they need to navigate the social pressures of youth. Powerfully written and deeply felt, Raising Cain will forever change the way we see our sons and will transform the way we help them to become happy and fulfilled young men.
Explores the trend of teenage basketball stars skipping college and making the transition to playing professionally, resulting in the 2005 age limit instituted by the NBA, mandating that all players must attend college or another developmental program for at least a year.