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A fine quotation is a diamond in the hand of a man of wit and a pebble in the hand of a fool. Joseph Roux This is a collection of the funniest quotes culled by the author from the thousands that are out there to save the reader the trouble of perusing the multitude of mediocre to find the best. This is a book which you can just pick up anytime and carry on where you left off last time. It is for those who want to pep up a speech, a presentation or an email and for those who just want to sit at home and enjoy the best humorous quotations for their own amusement. In the author's view the best humorous quotations are often those which contain an essence of truth viewed from an unexpected and quirky angle unseen previously.
A stupendous collection of quotes, quips, epigrams, witticisms, and humorous comments. For personal enjoyment and ready reference.
Like many ambitious New York City teenagers, Craig Gilner sees entry into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School as the ticket to his future. Determined to succeed at life—which means getting into the right high school to get into the right college to get the right job—Craig studies night and day to ace the entrance exam, and does. That's when things start to get crazy. At his new school, Craig realizes that he isn't brilliant compared to the other kids; he's just average, and maybe not even that. He soon sees his once-perfect future crumbling away.
The first book ever from an icon of American comedy -- a hilarious combination of stories from his career and observations about life That stammer. Those basset-hound eyes. That bone-dry wit. There has never been another comedian like Bob Newhart. His comedy albums, movies, and two hit television series have made him a national treasure and placed him firmly in the pantheon of comedy legends. Who else has a drinking game named after him And now, at last, Newhart puts his brilliant and hysterical world view on paper. Never a punch-line comic, always more of a storyteller, he tells anecdotes from throughout his life and career, including his beginnings as an accountant and the groundbreaking success of his comedy albums and The Bob Newhart Show and Newhart, which gave him fifteen years on primetime television. And he also gives his wry, comedic twist to a multitude of topics, including golf, drinking, and family holidays. Today, Newhart appears on Desperate Housewives, in hit movies such as Elf, and in theaters around the country. Reruns of his shows air constantly on Nick at Nite -- have recently been released with great success for the first time ever on DVD. With this book, Bob Newhart gives his millions of fans a first ever opportunity to sample his unique brand of humor -- including excerpts from some of his classic routines -- on the printed page.
The Big Book of Quotes is a collection of over 3,500 quotations from some of the greatest minds that ever existed. This is a book which you can just pick up anytime and carry on where you left off last time. It is for those who want to pep up a speech, a presentation or an email and for those who just want to jump start their brains with thought provoking or amusing quotations. The essence of the best quotes are that they express a truth or an insight in a short and often amusing way. Thoughts expressed succinctly have tremendous power. They can inspire and motivate, they can get a message across and they can provide insight. I hope this book will prove useful, amusing and the quotes will resonate with you.
#1 bestselling author James Patterson doles out the laughs in the first book in the hit series! Middle-schooler Jamie Grimm faces bullies and self-doubt as he chases his dream of becoming the world’s greatest comedian Jamie Grimm is a middle schooler on a mission: he wants to become the world's greatest standup comedian--even if he doesn't have a lot to laugh about these days. He's new in town and stuck living with his aunt, uncle, and their evil son Stevie, a bully who doesn't let Jamie's wheelchair stop him from messing with Jamie as much as possible. But Jamie doesn't let his situation get him down. When his Uncle Frankie mentions a contest called The Planet's Funniest Kid Comic, Jamie knows he has to enter. But are the judges only rewarding him out of pity because of his wheelchair, like Stevie suggests? Will Jamie ever share the secret of his troubled past instead of hiding behind his comedy act? Prepare to laugh and cheer along with Jamie in this highly-illustrated, heartfelt middle school story.
Over 500 of the best quotes in this collection of quotes Ideal for every occasion. Are you looking for the Best Funny Quotes Collection that will make you laugh out Loud? Then this is the book for you. A beautifully made compilation great book of quotes; some funny and hilarious, some wise and clever, but for sure Unforgettable Quotes to keep, treasure and share for years to come It is the perfect funny but wise book to keep next to you on your desk for moments of boredom, depression or sadness plus it also makes for the ideal funny gift for a coworker, boss, friend or family. This book is for you if you are looking for a twinge of humor in: Motivational Life Quotes Inspiring Quotes Success Quotes Love and Relationship Quotes Political Quotes Quotes on Religion, Money And more... Enjoy a wonderful collection of funny favorite quotes from ancient philosophers to modern day thinkers. Read one quote a day as a daily vitamin of inspiration, or read them in one sitting to break through negative thinking. The funny Quote book is carefully created to inspire and make you laugh on a daily basis. Find fun, laughter, guidance, wisdom, inspiration and motivation in this beautiful book containing over 500 funny quotes that you will cherish for many years to come. This handy book in a portable 6" by 9" size will be the perfect office gift that will give everyone a big laugh. The perfect Secret Santa, gag gift, Christmas, Holiday, or project employee appreciation gift for any office environment. THIS BOOK FEATURES Over 500 Different Funny quotes Stress Relieving quotes that are Great for Relaxation. 6 x 9 sized A Great Gift. Makes a wonderful gift idea for friends and family during holidays or any occasion
Pearls of wisdom and downright funny lines are bountiful in Dick Enberg's Humorous Quotes for All Occasions. Public speaking tops the list of things people fear most--above fear of snakes, falling, or even death. But Dick Enberg has the antidote. With 28 general subjects to choose from, you're bound to find just the right line to loosen your tongue and break the ice on any occasion. As baby boomers increasingly are faced with occasion for public speaking--graduations, weddings, retirement parties, anniversaries of all sorts--Dick Enberg's book will no doubt become the book of choice. Laced with humorous personal anecdotes about Enberg's own public speaking experiences throughout the years, the book is both an entertaining read and a resource of humorous material for specific occasions. It also includes technical tips on how to quickly and efficiently put together a successful humorous talk. Dick Enberg's Humorous Quotes for All Occasions will pave the way toward making the speaker and his or her audience perfectly at ease and ready for a good time.
Laugh in the face of death! That’s what this bold, brash, and often irreverent collection of epitaphs encourages readers to do. It offers more than just the deceased’s name and dates of birth and death, plus a touching phrase in memorial. Instead, every fascinating quote presents an unexpectedly cheeky perspective on the tragic, like this one from Uniontown, New Jersey: "Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake; stepped on the gas pedal instead of the brake.” Some come from the gravestones of the famous: Bette Davis’s proudly notes that "she did it the hard way.” Each thought-provoking line makes an indelible contribution to our folklore.
Want to come in a good mood instantly? Need some funny and uplifting quotes with many of the truisms from our everyday lives? Looking for a gift that everyone likes? Then, this is the book for you!Funny quotes are great; they allow us to take a quick break, relax, and take life a bit easier. And who doesn't need those in today's hectic life? Whether you are looking for an innovative way to cheer yourself up and deal with the daily stresses, stay focused and motivated, or simply trying to find a fantastic gift for a friend or a loved one, "500 Funny Quotes for Women" could be a perfect choice!Here are what this book will offer you:500 funny quotes explicitly selected for womenA collection of quotes carefully chosen from numerous sources arranged by themesAn easy book that you just pick up anytime start anywhere and always enjoy!Uplifting quotes to instantly boost mood and make you chuckle!A perfect gift to bring laughter and joy to the family, friends, and colleaguesWisdom and inspiration while being amused