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Bennys very anxious about changing his teeth, in fact, he can hardly wait. His mother reassures him that it will happen before long. Benny also wants to look like all the other children, who lost their teeth. Bennys mother comforts him, but his friend Jayden helps him realize how special he is, just the way he looks.
In Your Disgusting Head, Dr. and Mr. Doris Haggis-on-Whey reveal—through newly discovered discoveries—all the ways in which your head disappoints you. For many years the scientific and educational community has wondered and worried about the possibility that semi-sane scholar-pretenders would find the means to put out a series of reference books, filled with ludicrous misinformation and aimed at children. Well, we offer you Your Disgusting Head by Dr. and Mr. Doris Haggis-On-Whey. A world-renowned and much feared expert on everything, Dr. Doris Haggis-On-Whey has seventeen degrees from eighteen institutions of higher learning. With her husband, Benny, she has traveled the world many times over, has learned about all aspects of life, including outer space and food, first hand. The human body is beautiful and mysterious. The mysterious part reeks of cheese. But no part of your body is as scary and horrifying as your head! In Your Disgusting Head, you’ll find amazing information, such as: · The ear was invented and designed by Feranando de la Mancini Goldfarb, in 1911, which was also a good year for yeast. · Good Reasons for teeth removal: dentist did it; peer pressure; not sharp enough; found better teeth, like, on the ground; suspected of enjoying flossing; decay and mouth politics. · The real reason your ears can't hear your pets talking. The answer is simple: your pet is a mumbler." With the wit and irreverent sense of humor for which Dave Eggers and McSweeney's is known, comes the second volume in the revolutionary Haggis-On-Whey World of Unbelievable Brilliance books. More than just entertaining and informative, Your Disgusting Head will help you appear smarter, more in touch with your sensitive side and whiten your teeth. And much, much more that will likely sicken you.
What would you do if a shark followed you home? In this story designed to engage early readers, charming characters combine with simple text, lively illustrations, and laugh-out-loud humor to help boost kids' confidence and create lifelong readers! Mr. Fitzgerald said sharks like to circle their food while they decide if it looks tasty. I must have left my scooter in the yard. The shark started riding it around our house. And around. And around. On his third time around, I knew. He was circling me. When Benny learns about sharks at school, he immediately feels worried. He definitely can't go in the ocean, because sharks live there. But even simply staying out of the water isn't enough, because a shark named Mr. Chompers follows him home! What will Benny do? This humorous, highly-illustrated story is perfect for kids just beginning to read on their own. The short chapters, early vocabulary, and amusing illustrations make reading easy and fun! Exciting, easy-to-read books are the stepping stone a young reader needs to bridge the gap between being a beginner and being fluent.
When the ship goes down, the sharks come out.... Stranded in the war torn Pacific, Patrick and his younger brother Teddy are finally homeward-bound. They've stowed away on one of the US Navy's finest ships, and now they just need to stay hidden. But Japanese torpedoes rip their dream apart.And the sinking ship isn't the worst of it. Patrick and Teddy can handle hunger and dehydration as they float in the water and wait to be rescued. If they're smart, they can even deal with the madness that seems to plague their fellow survivors. No, the real danger circles beneath the surface. And it has teeth....Based on the true events of the 1945 sinking of the USS Indianapolis, author Michael P. Spradlin tells a harrowing story of World War II.
#1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!
The Cantor's Daughter is the compelling new collection from Oregon Book Award Winner and recipient of the GLCA's New Writers Award for 2005, Scott Nadelson. In his follow-up to Saving Stanley, these stories capture Jewish New Jersey suburbanites in moments of crucial transition, when they have the opportunity to connect with those closest to them or forever miss their chance for true intimacy. In "The Headhunter," two men develop an unlikely friendship at work, but after twenty years of mutually supporting each other’s families and careers their friendship comes to an abrupt and surprising end. In the title story, Noa Nechemia and her father have immigrated from Israel following a tragic car accident her mother did not survive. In one stunning moment of insight following a disastrous prom night, Noa discovers her ability to transcend grief and determine the direction of her own life. And in “Half a Day in Halifax” Beth and Roger meet on a cruise ship where their shared lack of enthusiasm for their trip sparks the possibility of romance. Nadelson's stories are sympathetic, heartbreaking, and funny as they investigate the characters' fragile emotional bonds and the fears that often cause those bonds to falter or fail.
Scholastic's bestselling Old Lady stars in a brand-new adventure series for beginning readers chock-full of hilarious laughs and fun facts! There was an old mermaid who swallowed a shark. I don't know why she swallowed a shark, but it left no mark! Scholastic's bestselling Old Lady is starring in a brand-new adventure series that will make you laugh AND learn! In this new spin-off, the Old Lady turns into an Old Mermaid, travels down into the ocean, and swallows a shark. . . and a squid, and a fish, and an eel, and a crab, and a sea star, and a clam. . . Why? Well, it was fun to cram her mouth with a clam! Two new characters lead the reader through this hilarious adventure while exchanging some awesome facts about the creatures down under for a light take on nonfiction that's perfect for this age. With expanded sea creature back matter and a search-and-find game at the end, this Old Mermaid is making quite a splash!
Boys' Life is the official youth magazine for the Boy Scouts of America. Published since 1911, it contains a proven mix of news, nature, sports, history, fiction, science, comics, and Scouting.
An epic of Israel from its founding to the Six-Day War by the #1 New York Times–bestselling author: “Full of excitement.” —Entertainment Weekly From the Pulitzer Prize–winning author of The Winds of War and The Caine Mutiny, this saga spans from 1948 to 1967, the early decades of the state of Israel as it struggles for its life, outmatched and surrounded by enemies—the first of the two-part epic that concludes with The Glory. Zev Barak, Sam Pasternak, Don Kishote, and Benny Luria are all officers in the Israeli army caught up in the sweep of history, fighting the desperate desert skirmishes and meeting the larger-than-life personalities that shaped Israel’s fight for independence. The four heroes and the women they love weave a compelling tapestry of individual destinies through a grand recounting of one nation’s battle against the odds. “Much of the dialogue is witty; the descriptions of back-channel diplomacy between the United States and Israel are fascinating and convincing.” —The New York Times Book Review “Solid historical research . . . fictional characters of Wouk’s own invention rub shoulders with real-life historical figures like David Ben Gurion [and] Moshe Dayan.” —The Christian Science Monitor “Rich and satisfying . . . deftly portrays the human face of inhuman conflict.” —The Plain Dealer “An engrossing and often moving tale.” —Publishers Weekly
INSTANT #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER WALL STREET JOURNAL BESTSELLER BARNES & NOBLE BESTSELLER AMAZON BESTSELLER "Paging through Serrano's Movies (and Other Things) is like taking a long drive at night with a friend; there's that warmth and familiarity where the chat is more important than the fastest route from Point A to Point B...It's like a textbook gone right; your attention couldn't wander if it tried." -- Elisabeth Egan, New York Times Book Review Shea Serrano is back, and his new book, Movies (And Other Things),combines the fury of a John Wick shootout, the sly brilliance of Regina George holding court at a cafeteria table, and the sheer power of a Denzel monologue, all into one. Movies (And Other Things) is a book about, quite frankly, movies (and other things). One of the chapters, for example, answers which race Kevin Costner was able to white savior the best, because did you know that he white saviors Mexicans in McFarland, USA, and white saviors Native Americans in Dances with Wolves, and white saviors Black people in Black or White, and white saviors the Cleveland Browns in Draft Day? Another of the chapters, for a second example, answers what other high school movie characters would be in Regina George's circle of friends if we opened up the Mean Girls universe to include other movies (Johnny Lawrence is temporarily in, Claire from The Breakfast Club is in, Ferris Bueller is out, Isis from Bring It On is out...). Another of the chapters, for a third example, creates a special version of the Academy Awards specifically for rom-coms, the most underrated movie genre of all. And another of the chapters, for a final example, is actually a triple chapter that serves as an NBA-style draft of the very best and most memorable moments in gangster movies. Many, many things happen in Movies (And Other Things), some of which funny, others of which are sad, a few of which are insightful, and all of which are handled with the type of care and dedication to the smallest details and pockets of pop culture that only a book by Shea Serrano can provide.