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"If your own intelligence was the fuel that your magic ran on, how brightly would you dare to burn?" This box set contains the complete 'Another Stupid Trilogy' story line; an unabridged collection of Sorch's adventures through Panos! And as a BONUS, we've included Sorch's origin story: 'Shaman's Fable'. Bill Ricardi's debut fantasy series, written as the first person diary of an orc who wanted to live a braver life, was an immediate sensation. Podium Publishing quickly secured the audiobook rights, helping to propel 'Another Stupid Trilogy' into the hearts of fantasy fans around the globe. Sorch is an abused orc mage in a world where orcs are cursed with stupidity every time they cast a spell. As a slave to the Voodoo Engine, he was fated to live a short, unrewarding life. While foraging for food one night, Sorch stumbles upon two human mages in big trouble. He saves their lives, and in return they give him an amulet that will make his life easier. Unbeknownst to the humans, their gift grants Sorch the power to break the cycle of intelligence drain and physical abuse. With the help of his friends, Sorch becomes a real mage. He leaves his swamp and embarks on a series of incredibly exciting and dangerous adventures. During his travels he encounters horrible injury, magical treasures, love, snow, university admissions tests, a plot against the Kingdom, and then of course he saves the world. Or does he? Now you can buy the entire trilogy, including the bonus prequel story, for one low price.
If your own intelligence was the fuel that your magic ran on, how brightly would you dare to burn? Sorch is an abused orc mage in a world where orcs are cursed with stupidity every time they cast a spell. As a slave to the Voodoo Engine, he was fated to live a short, unrewarding life. While foraging for food one night, Sorch stumbles upon two human mages in big trouble. He saves their lives, and in return they give him an amulet that will make his life easier. Unbeknownst to the humans, their gift grants Sorch the power to break the cycle of intelligence drain and physical abuse. With the help of his friends, Sorch becomes a real mage. He leaves his swamp and embarks on a series of incredibly exciting and dangerous adventures. During his travels he encounters horrible injury, magical treasures, love, snow, university admissions tests, a plot against the Kingdom, and then of course he saves the world. Or does he? 'Another Stupid Spell' is the first book in 'Another Stupid Trilogy', the first epic fantasy series in the world of Panos. If you like first person action and adventure, hard hitting magical combat, and rooting for an unlikely hero, then Bill Ricardi's debut novel is right up your alley.
Just before his sixteenth birthday, Felton Reinstein has a sudden growth spurt that turns him from a small, jumpy, picked-on boy with the nickname of "Squirrel Nut" to a powerful athlete, leading to new friends, his first love, and the courage to confront his family's past and current problems.
When a captured hero forgets his past, an unlikely group of friends must rescue him from his imprisonment by a demon worshipping cult. Will Sorch recover in time to save his allies from the plane of Pandemonium? Sorch is an orc mage in a world where orcs are cursed with stupidity every time they cast a spell. After thwarting an evil plot to destroy Royal Moffit, Sorch became the prisoner of the Cult of Harrington. They imprisoned and tortured him in an attempt to steal his nightmares. One daring jailbreak later, and Sorch is unleashed upon the world again. This time, however, he's not so sure that he wants to go back to a life of magic and adventure. It would be a long, difficult road. And being the smartest orc in all of Panos wasn't all fun and games the first time around. But with the help of a new friend, Sorch rediscovers his purpose in life. He embarks on a quest to save his friends, who were trapped on another plane of existence. During his travels he encounters more horrible injury, more magical treasures, casual love, noisy roommates, wild elves, university midterms, a plot against all of Panos, and then of course he saves the world. Or does he?
A semi-retired mage is torn away from his new family when the world itself starts to self destruct. Will Sorch allow his son to follow in his dangerous footsteps to attempt a final, desperate gambit to save Panos? After destroying the possessed Voodoo Engine that threatened to enslave his tribe and start the next Great War, Sorch took some much needed time away from the peril of adventure. In the two years that followed, he finished his arcane education and learned to be a real father to his recently discovered son, Benno. But the world wasn't done with Sorch and his family just yet. Drought, flooding, and deadly creatures driven up from the depths of the earth itself threatened to destroy cities and towns all over the world. It would take the two smartest orcs on Panos, and all of their brave friends, to discover the forces that threatened to tear the planet apart. In a race against time, Sorch is forced to lead his family into unparalleled danger. During his travels he encounters even more horrible injury, even more magical treasures, yetis, the power of fatherhood, frightening schoolchildren, an ancient threat to all of Panos, and then of course he saves the world. Or does he?
"Deep, moving, LOL funny, and completely original."—School Library Journal on Nothing Special Felton Reinstein has never been good with stress. Which is why he's seriously freaking out. Revealing his college choice on national TV? It's a heart attack waiting to happen. Deciding on a major for the next four years of his life? Ridiculous. He barely even knows who he is outside of football. And so...he embarks on The Epic Quest to Be Meaningful. Which leads to: Mentoring a freshman called Pig Boy The state of Wisconsin hating him. His track coach suspending him. The funniest viral video the world has ever seen. A whole new appreciation for his family, his friends, and what's really important in life. Award for Geoff Herbach's Stupid Fast: ALA Best Book for Young Adults Selection Junior Library Guild Selection CYBILS Young Adult Fiction Winner
Zealots and gangsters and Voids, oh my. Sometimes working for the god of sex and music isn't all it's cracked up to be. Lucas Andrews, known as 'Lucky' to his friends, is on the run. As a Host, he willingly shares his body with the spirit of Izadore, one of Ihy's 72 sons and daughters from Ancient Egypt. Hunted by religious extremists, their music-inspired powers spiralling out of control, the pair flees to New York City in order to pursue the only course of action that they've been given: Find one of the legendary Muses of Apollo. But the big city offers big problems and precious few solutions. Just as Lucas and Izadore start to find personal and financial success, they're plunged into metaphysical chaos and mortal danger. Will they be able to find the right help and training in time? Or will the nebulous Void or their dogged pursuers catch up to the pair and silence them forever? WARNING: This book has themes of abuse, bullying, physical violence, metaphysical violence, gun violence, sexual discovery, bisexuality, religious extremism, and pagan religious power in the modern world.
Cutting a deal with the god of sex and music was supposed to be Lucas' big break. But when the price of power is sharing your body with an ancient Egyptian spirit, things get complicated real quick. At the turn of the century, the world was introduced to a group of 72 physical mystics called the 'Host'. Hosted individuals have struck a bargain with Ihy, Egyptian god of music, pleasure, lust, and fertility. A Host shares their mind and body with one of Ihy's children, keeping them safe and 'feeding' them with sensations from the vast array of human experience. In exchange, the Host receives supernatural powers based on the kind of music they're listening to at any given time. This allows them to bend physics, have supernatural strength and agility, and even influence the hearts and minds of those around them... if the right tune is playing. 'Rhythm' follows Lucas Andrews, known as 'Lucky' to his friends. Lucas is a young man who managed to become legally emancipated from his abusive parents. On paper he lives with the family of his deceased best friend, but in reality they can't afford to keep him. Instead, Lucas lives in an old station wagon parked in the Massachusetts woodlands. He endures constant bullying at school. He's able to muddle through the pain, work in a record store in order to earn food money, and quietly finish school as a straight B student. On the morning of his 17th birthday, Lucky gets the offer of a lifetime. He's invited to become a Host if he willingly shares his body with Ihy's son, Izadore. After weighing all the pros and cons, Lucas accepts the god's offer and is merged with 'Izy'. This fateful decision puts Lucas on a dangerous path. Being a Host also means being hunted. Will Lucas and Izadore be able to hone the power of their new partnership in time? Or will they be overrun by forces who will do anything, including murder, in order to maintain the religious status-quo? WARNING: This book has themes of abuse, bullying, physical violence, metaphysical violence, gun violence, sexual discovery, bisexuality, religious extremism, and pagan religious power in the modern world.
USA Today bestseller For five centuries, a witch’s curse has bound the trolls to their city beneath the ruins of Forsaken Mountain—time enough for their nefarious magic to fade from human memory and into myth. But a prophecy has spoken of a union that will set the trolls free, and when Cécile de Troyes is taken beneath the mountain, she learns there is far more to the myth than she could have imagined. Cécile has only one thing on her mind after she is brought to Trollus: escape. But if she is to succeed, she must bide her time and find a way to outsmart the clever, fast, and inhumanly strong trolls that hold her captive. But while awaiting the perfect opportunity, Cécile unexpectedly falls for the enigmatic troll prince to whom she has been bonded and married. Their love gradually changes her perspective, opening her heart to new friends and opening her eyes to the hardships of the enslaved half-troll, half-human creatures of Trollus. As rebellion brews and the political games of Trollus escalate, Cécile becomes more than a trapped father’s daughter. She becomes a princess, a witch, and the hope of a people—someone who has the power to change Trollus forever.
Prisoner. Prince. Sacrifice. As the captive of the People of the New Hum, Granite is all of these things. Bartered away by his half sister in order to rescue the rest of their friends, the journeyman half orc ranger starts to lose himself. Anger and hopelessness threaten to overwhelm him. But a dying falconer sends his most beloved companion, Belinda the gyrfalcon, to bond with the captive prince. She introduces him to a world inside of his own mind, and helps to prepare him for the trials to come. Can the abandoned young man and his new winged ally survive the trials of the Igneous Citadel? Half a world away, Sarah and her companions search for answers about the invasion of the northern elflands. Their quest leads them to the doorstep of an ancient evil so dire, it was locked away by the gods themselves. All the while, Sarah must endure the pain of sacrificing her brother, and weather the resentment of her companions. Can the Blackstaff siblings survive, when Panos itself seems hellbent on their destruction? Or will the wedge driven between them prove to be the source of their downfall?