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If you struggle with self‐defeating thoughts and feelings of inadequacy, you are not alone. We’ve all felt inadequate, believing that we’re broken or otherwise unworthy. But this doesn’t have to be a life sentence. Presenting four guiding principles and five core practices based in deep spiritual wisdom, Suffering Is Optional reveals how to liberate yourself from the prison of false self‐beliefs holding you back. Millions of people feel that they are not good enough. They may struggle every day, seeing themselves as deficient, pathetic, or damaged, and destined to fail. They convince themselves they aren’t worthy of love or respect, and view themselves with self-hatred. When you believe and cling to painful, self-defeating thoughts like “I can’t do it,” “It won’t work,” or “I’m a loser,” they become your personal reality—and the more you repeat them, the more you believe them, until they come to define you. Sadly, these limiting self-definitions lead to even more pain and suffering: hidden shame, problems in relationships, opportunities lost, and a life not fully lived. In Suffering Is Optional, clinical psychologist Gail Brenner offers practical ways to discover that you are not what your thoughts tell you you are. Rather than showing you how to become a better version of yourself, this book goes straight to the heart of the problem—that you’ve mistakenly identified yourself as broken and undeserving—to guide you out of these limiting thoughts and into an investigation of the nature of reality that ultimately liberates you from your suffering. With these exercises, experiments, reflections, practices, and inspiring stories, you’ll have a spiritual solution to your personal problem of limitation and self-sabotage. Using the four guiding principles and five core practices presented in this book—including turning toward direct experience, grounding in aware presence, losing interest in thoughts, welcoming feelings, and the sacred return to presence—you’ll be able to shed your false identity and wake up to the inherent peace and happiness that is available to you in any given moment.
“Gabrielle is the real thing. I respect her work immensely.” —Dr. Wayne Dyer “A new role model.” —The New York Times “I came to one of Bernstein’s monthly lectures and got my first look at the woman I’d one day unabashedly refer to as ‘my guru.’” —Elle From #1 New York Times bestselling author Gabrielle Bernstein comes a clear, proactive, step-by-step process to release the beliefs that hold you back from living a better life. This six-step practice offers many promises. Petty resentments will disappear, compassion will replace attack, the energy of resistance will transform into freedom and you’ll feel more peace and happiness than you’ve ever known. I can testify to these results because I’ve lived them. I’ve never felt more freedom and joy than I have when writing and practicing these steps. My commitment to healing my own relationship to judgment has changed my life in profound ways. My awareness of my judgment has helped me become a more mindful and conscious person. My willingness to heal these perceptions has set me free. I have been able to let go of resentments and jealousies, I can face pain with curiosity and love, and I forgive others and myself much more easily. Best of all, I have a healthy relationship to judgment so that I can witness when it shows up and I can use these steps to quickly return to love. The Judgment Detox is an interactive six-step process that calls on spiritual principles from the text A Course in Miracles, Kundalini yoga, the Emotional Freedom Technique (aka Tapping), meditation, prayer and metaphysical teachings. I’ve demystified these principles to make them easy to commit to and apply in your daily life. Each lesson builds upon the next to support true healing. When you commit to following the process and become willing to let go, judgment, pain and suffering will begin to dissolve. And the miracles will keep coming. Once you begin to feel better you start to release your resistance to love. The more you practice these steps, the more love enters into your consciousness and into your energetic vibration. When you’re in harmony with love, you receive more of what you want. Your energy attracts its likeness. So when you shift your energy from defensive judgment to free-flowing love your life gets awesome. You’ll attract exactly what you need, your relationships will heal, your health will improve and you’ll feel safer and more secure. One loving thought at a time creates a miracle. Follow these steps to clear all blocks, spread more love and live a miraculous life.
While growing up, selfishness is defined for most people as a destructive force — power-driven, self-obsessed, a tyranny against others, and a drain on energy. Early lessons teach that the needs of others must be put above one's own. This has created a culture of outward-directed people, cut off from the inner sources of energy and vitality. Failing to develop one's individuality can eventually lead to depression and ill health. Only after becoming whole can one help others as well as society. This is the lesson of Sacred Selfishness, in which Jungian analyst Bud Harris argues persuasively that one must live authentically in order to be whole, happy, healthy, and a truly contributing member of society. This essential guide offers many strategies readers can use in order to live a "sacredly selfish" life, from analyzing dreams to keeping a detailed journal that teaches seekers to understand themselves, their worth, and their needs.
Inner bonding is the process of connecting our adult thoughts with our instinctual, gut feelings—the feelings of the "inner child"—so that we can minimize painful conflict within ourselves. Free of inner conflict, we feel peaceful, open to joy, and open to giving and receiving love. Margaret Paul, coauthor of Healing Your Aloneness, explores how abandonment of the inner child leads to increasingly negative and destructive feelings of low self-worth, codepenclence, addiction, shame, powerlessness, and withdrawal from relationships. Her breakthrough inner bonding process teaches us to heal past wounds through reparenting and clearly demonstrates how we can learn to parent in the present. Real-life examples illustrate the dynamics of the healing process and show the benefits we can expect in every facet of our lives and in all our relationships. Inner Bonding provides the tools we need to forge and maintain the inner unity that makes our family, sexual, work, and social relationships productive, honest, and joyful.
The author of Self-Compassion follows up her groundbreaking book with new ideas that expand our notion of self-kindness and its capacity to transform our lives, showing women how to balance tender self-acceptance with fierce action to claim their power and change the world. Kristin Neff changed how we talk about self-care with her enormously popular first book, Self-Compassion. Now, ten years and many studies later, she expands her body of work to explore a brand-new take on self-compassion. Although kindness and self-acceptance allow us to be with ourselves as we are, in all our glorious imperfection, the desire to alleviate suffering at the heart of this mindset isn't always gentle, sometimes it's fierce. We must also act courageously in order to protect ourselves from harm and injustice, say no to others so we can meet our own needs, and motivate necessary change in ourselves and society. Gender roles demand that women be soft and nurturing, not angry or powerful. But like yin and yang, the energies of fierce and tender self-compassion must be balanced for wholeness and wellbeing. Drawing on a wealth of research, her personal life story and empirically supported practices, Neff demonstrates how women can use fierce and tender self-compassion to succeed in the workplace, engage in caregiving without burning out, be authentic in relationships, and end the silence around sexual harassment and abuse. Most women intuitively recognize fierceness as part of their true nature, but have been discouraged from developing it. Women must reclaim their power in order to create a healthier society and find lasting happiness. In this wise, caring, and enlightening book, Neff shows women how to reclaim balance within themselves, so they can help restore balance in the world.
A fifteen-year project. Hundreds of women. Varying ages, backgrounds and cultures.One set of questions.The mission:To expose self-loathing and help women overcome the silent debilitating epidemic of self-judgment.Read their stories, think about your own and expand your view.
The self-help genre is replete with books telling people how to be happier and more fulfilled. And books with a spiritual or mindfulness perspective suggest that being present is the solution. But no book provides the precise and constructive guidance needed to discover that happiness is truly possible in any moment. Until now. Using clear language and useful examples, "The End of Self-Help: Discovering Peace and Happiness Right at the Heart of Your Messy, Scary, Brilliant Life" describes how personal suffering is a case of mistaken identity. The book starts with common, entrenched psychological experiences such as unresolved problems from the past, worries about the future, feelings of inadequacy, compulsive behaviors, and confusing emotions. In skillful detail, it illuminates the shift of attention required for true happiness. Explorations in each chapter bring the material alive in the reader's own experience, essential to challenge decades of conditioning.The book walks alongside readers as they become experts in how their thoughts and feelings bring about suffering and realize the simple fact of peaceful, aware presence that is always here and available. It describes that this infinite, spacious presence is the truth of who we are, that we're not limited to our thoughts and feelings. The book illustrates how to live this insight in the moments of everyday life.
Renowned Toltec wisdom teacher don Miguel Ruiz Jr. reveals how the tools of awareness, understanding, and unconditional love can free your authentic self. The Toltecs were an ancient civilization that predated the Aztecs. They believed that life as we perceive it is a dream. We each live in our own personal dream, and our collective dreams come together to shape the “Dream of the Planet.” But problems arise when we forget that the dream is just that—a dream, and not a fixed reality. The Mastery of Self takes the Toltec philosophy of the “Dream of the Planet” and the personal dream and explains how we can: Wake up from our illusions Liberate ourselves from the inhibiting stories we all tell ourselves Live as our true, authentic, loving selves Once released, we can live our authentic lives not only in solitude and meditation but anywhere—at the grocery store, stuck in traffic, and so forth—and in any situation or scenario that might confront us. Each chapter includes rituals, meditations, and other practices to manifest Toltec wisdom in our lives.
Kristin Neff, Ph.D., says that it’s time to “stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind.” Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind offers expert advice on how to limit self-criticism and offset its negative effects, enabling you to achieve your highest potential and a more contented, fulfilled life. More and more, psychologists are turning away from an emphasis on self-esteem and moving toward self-compassion in the treatment of their patients—and Dr. Neff’s extraordinary book offers exercises and action plans for dealing with every emotionally debilitating struggle, be it parenting, weight loss, or any of the numerous trials of everyday living.
Immanuel Kant's 'The Critique of Judgment' explores the realms of aesthetic judgment and teleological judgment in a rigorous and thought-provoking manner. In this seminal work, Kant delves into the concepts of beauty, taste, and the nature of artistic creation. He presents a detailed analysis of how judgment functions in relation to aesthetics, weaving together philosophical insights with practical examples to illustrate his points. Through his meticulous argumentation, Kant lays the groundwork for the understanding of the role of judgment in appreciating art and nature. The book's dense yet insightful prose engages readers in a contemplative journey through the intersections of art, nature, and human perception. Immanuel Kant, a renowned German philosopher of the Enlightenment era, was influenced by thinkers such as Leibniz and Rousseau. His deep interest in metaphysics and epistemology led him to ponder the fundamental principles that govern human experience. 'The Critique of Judgment' reflects Kant's comprehensive philosophical system, bridging the gap between his earlier works on metaphysics and ethics. I highly recommend 'The Critique of Judgment' to readers who are interested in delving into the complexities of aesthetic and teleological judgment. Kant's nuanced arguments and incisive analysis pave the way for a deeper appreciation of art, nature, and the human mind. This book is essential reading for anyone seeking to explore the intersections of philosophy, aesthetics, and the nature of beauty.