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This book contains actual 911 emergency and non-emergency calls that came into the San Diego Police Department Communications Division during my 19 years as a Police 911 Dispatcher. This book represents the calls received as accurately as possible. I did not embellish them to make them funnier or more exciting. These are actual calls, often unbelievable, but they are real calls. This book is a way for me to portray the "real world" of a 911 dispatcher. As you read through the book, I hope you can get a sense of the many emotions that I felt during the course of each shift. As you can imagine, the majority of calls received were true emergencies. I chose mostly the light hearted calls that would make you come away from the book with a smile, instead of a heavy heart. The Dark Side is the chapter in this book I devoted to the more serious, violent type of calls we get on a daily basis. Many of these calls may shock you, and have you scratching your head thinking...OMG really?! I hope you enjoy this book.
Collects emergency phone calls made to 911, including calls made by animals, by a man asking for a ride to the grocery store, and a complaint about a woman's floating cat.
911 Dispatch: "911, what's your emergency?" Caller: "What were the winning numbers for the Evening Pick Four today?" Lauded as the "911 poster child" by Katie Couric, former Saturday Night Live writer Leland Gregory takes us back to where the funny all began. From presidential philosophizing and political pandering to foolish felons and office idiots, Leland Gregory generates side-splitting laughter by chronicling the worst of human nature. Gregory takes us back to where all the laughs began by updating his 911 cult classic with more than 150 new tales of bizarre but true 911 calls such as: .911: "Do you know a good stain remover?" .911 Report: Person answered "no" to the question: "Are you conscious?" .911 Report: Man called and requested dispatcher call his wife to let her know he's on his way home and that she shouldn't yell at him.
What's Your Emergency? are stories of from first responders and some of what they deal with. A large portion of the stories in this book come from the 911 Dispatcher's side of the call and gives you a wonderful look into how they feel during and after a call.
Get both books What's Your Emergency? and Outrageous 911 Calls in one book. Plus, bonus chapters of new and upcoming book from Ancel Reagan.
A rookie 911 operator writes with humor, empathy, and amazing candor of the demanding job that changes her life forever.
The wittiest, wackiest, and most popular selections from the last 12 years in the best-selling Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader series. We stuffed the best stuff we’ve ever written into 576 glorious pages. Result: pure bathroom-reading bliss! You’re just a few clicks away from the most hilarious, head-scratching material that has made Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader an unparalleled publishing phenomenon. As always, the articles are divided into short, medium, and long for your sitting convenience. So treat yourself to the best of history, science, politics, and pop culture--plus the dumbest of the dumb crooks, the strangest of the strange lawsuits, and loads more, including . . . * The Barbados Tombs * The Lonely Phone Booth * The Origin of the Supermarket * The History of the IQ Test * Robots in the News * Tennessee’s Body Farm * Happy Donut Day! * The Origin of Nachos * The Birth of the Submarine * A Viewer's Guide to Rainbows * How the Mosquito Changed History And much, much more!
Over 70% of North Americans are (water) closet readers. The Uncle John's Bathroom Readers series is still the best selling book of its kind anywhere in the world. Millions of people have discovered it over the past 25 years, making it one of the publishing industry's longest-running humor series. It's our 16th year running (so to speak) I mean, we're still going (uhh) strong. A light-hearted, easy-to-read collection of facts, quotes, history, science, word-origins, pop culture, gossip, humor . . . and more! Organized by length-"Short" (a quick read), "Medium" (1-3 pages), "Long" (for those visits when something a little more involved is required), and to satisfy every demand, our popular "Extended Sitting Section" (for a leg-numbing experience.) Running feet on every page provide a "book within a book" of weird facts. Partial Table of Contents included.
INSIDE I CRIED IS A CAUTIONARY TALE OF MYTH and MAGIC that will interest you for a life time. When a scandal threatens Randall City; a struggling housekeeper, mother and employer who tries to protect a luxury mansion once known as a bed and breakfast from being defeated. All that changes one day when an entrepreneur banker named Joe is ATTACKED by an evil woman who betrays herself as a beautiful female. For a moment of temporary pleasure; he traded in his inheritance that once bears his familys name. The family doctor suddenly returns home with a shocking secret that tend to cuts with his tongue! When the woman who loves him learns his dark secret, she confronts him and forces him to spill his Tea. I had just called home from the office when the breaking news arrived, and I heard someone shout with joy in the background; suddenly, there were footsteps. A whisper said to me, BE QUIET! The angel of death is still following you around. If you dig around the roots of your family tree, you might find a few bodies... Joe is between a rock and a hard place to stay alivein a desperate bid to change Daisys impending fate. She considers anything and everything about a terrible secret that will allow death to lick Joes wounds. But its Joe who comes up with the most shocking plan of all. As the plan unfolds, things become complicated with the evil woman. She return to claim her place by Joes side and find a spot that would overtake him. But to lose the man she love could send her over the edge. Look deep into a puzzle, you will find a secret that will be between us, from this day forward. Good! Its official.