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Four decades ago, a friend of the author remarked that a book should be written in honor of someone they both knew. The indiscreet nickname for this person is Squat. Up to speed on most all facets of life, Squat knew just enough to be dangerous, mainly to himself. When a problem arose, he found a solution, oftentimes causing more harm than good. The two pals quickly brainstormed and came up with a book title. All they needed was substance of some educational and entertainment value to place between covers. Flash ahead forty years. Sadly, the friend is no longer here. Having over six hundred articles, stories, and editorials published by various newspapers and periodicals at his disposal, author Michael Dexter Hankins had more than enough material to finally create such a testament. Going through a short yet lengthy editing process, You Don't Know Squat! came to life as an eclectic mix of 102 humorous and quirky tales. It's also an entertaining plethora of undeniable facts, hyperbole extraordinaire, outlandish thoughts, unsubstantiated information, life adventures, misadventures, irony, oxymoron, gossip, sarcasm, inflammatory opinions, uncalled-for advice, and secret innuendos. Literary scholars and bibliophobes alike will find the contents humorously enlightening.
"Through movement, specific movements, we can regain our foundation of strength, our foundation of health. We can become the strong, powerful and graceful bodies that we were meant to be. We can enjoy this life with vitality. We don't have to be spectators, merely existing. We were made for adventure, for life! ..."--Back cover.
SUPER SQUATS...the runaway #1 bestseller at IRONMAN books every single month since it was added to the list! "SUPER SQUATS" is, quite simply, the best book ever written in the field of muscle building."--John McCallum (author of the KEYS TO PROGRESS series). "SUPER SQUATS"...is magnificent!...I wholeheartedly recommend you to get this book."--from review by Stuart McRobert in THE HARDGAINER (September 1988). "...a marvelous piece of work"--Chester O. Teegarden, former Associate Editor, IRON MAN. "SUPER SQUATS" is a well-written, extremely interesting & informative...impeccably documented."--from review by Bill Starr in IRONSPORT (June 1989). "If you are looking for unbelievably fast gains in muscle size & strength, this is your book. It's also your book if you are interested in some colorful Iron Game history, or need sound advice on anything from how to equip a home gym to how to psyche up for heavy lifts...Besides being brutally effective & drug-free, this approach to muscle building presents a clear alternative to programs built around complicated machines & exotic food supplements...rest assured that you're not being duped with some half-baked scam."--from review in MUSCLEMAG INTERNATIONAL (June 1990).
From USA Today Bestselling Author Kat Cantrell (writing as K. Cantrell) -- All three books in the Olympia Alien Mail Order Bride series: Eros, Ares and Ajax together in one set! Looking for Love on all the Wrong Planets Eros Penelope Boswell needs a fake boyfriend to save her from her meddling family. But when the Intergalactic Dating Agency matches her with a sexy alien willing to play pretend in exchange for her help assimilating to Earth culture, she gets way more than she bargained for: Eros is seductive, pushy and has no intention of faking anything, least of all their relationship… Ares Clementine Daily has struck out so many times in the dating game that she’s had to move on to another species. When the Intergalactic Dating Agency matches her to a Torvian who needs a marriage of convenience to stay on Earth, she’s happy to help—who wouldn’t love a sexy alien as a reward? Except her new husband is scarred by secrets from the past and wants nothing to do with love or romance, and Clem's seduction strategy suddenly needs a whole new game plan. Ajax When Brooklyn Carter flees from an abusive ex, a friend suggests the perfect bodyguard—an honest-to-goodness alien. Ajax is built like a tank, willing to do the job in exchange for a green card marriage, and best of all, he can't and won't touch her. His genetic modifications give him super strength, which means he carefully avoids all contact with fragile humans. But once they start spending time together, Brooklyn begins to wonder what it would be like if he could touch her. Now all she can think about is exactly that… and how to trade safety for the courage to go after what she wants.
"Two complete novels, one price"--spine.
The entire Holy Bible rewritten as parody. The history, poetry, gospels, prophets of the Old Testament, letters of the New Testament -- the entire thing rewritten to make you laugh as it points out the lunacy, immorality and horror of the "good book". Audacious, sacrilegious, blasphemous, scandalous, but most of all hilarious, as long as you are not one who takes this book of mythology seriously. You may learn more about the Bible by reading this version than by reading the original.
Jolie Gentil Cozy Mysteries Box Set Books 8 - 10 Jolie Gentil continues to solve mysteries and become more involved in the Ocean Alley community. And she's starting to realize her feelings for an old friend are growing beyond friendship. Ground to a Halt. When Jolie Gentil goes to buy a cup of coffee the morning after a storm knocks out power at her house in Ocean Alley, she finds Java Jolt unlocked and minus its owner. A bigger surprise is seeing proprietor Joe Regan a few minutes later, badly injured. It seems a potential killer thinks Jolie has something Joe was hiding. The normal routine of appraising houses and volunteering at the Harvest for All food pantry is interrupted by an SUV that nearly smashes Jolie, a break-in at the home Jolie and Scoobie share, and a terrifying kidnapping. Jolie needs to figure out who's telling the truth and how far the thugs will go to to find what they want. Only solving the puzzle will keep Jolie safe, protect a vulnerable Iraqi vet, and make sure everyone stays alive. But if Jolie keeps searching, her budding romance with Scoobie may grind to a halt. Holidays in Ocean Alley. Aunt Madge is spending a few weeks in the Silver Times Senior Living after standing on a stool to hang garland. Her niece Jolie's good friend Scoobie teams up with her to figure out whose body fell into Madge's apartment in the wee hours one morning. Does the killer think Aunt Madge knows something she shouldn't? Can Madge find a way to solve the crime and provide some cheer to injured children? She's determined to do just that. But she needs to be really careful. The Unexpected Resolution. Wedding days are special, but they don't usually pack as big a surprise as Jolie and Scoobie's New Year's Eve nuptials. Scoobie never knew much about his family -- and after the way he grew up, who could blame him for liking it that way? A 9-1-1 call during the wedding changes everything. Suddenly Jolie has to help Scoobie figure out what he wants to know, and determine who may want someone in his family dead. Publisher's Weekly called The Unexpected Resolution, "A…story about unexpected life events and the honest love that binds no matter what."
In her new novel starring Philadelphia schoolteacher Amanda Pepper, Gillian Roberts once again mixes mystery and mirth. This time Roberts explores Philadelphia's unique flesh and blood "historical monument"-- the Mummers, who live (and perhaps are willing to die) for a few hours of glory every New Year's Day. The famous Mummers' Parade is an extravaganza that draws enormous crowds who cheer through chattering teeth, as more than thirty thousand clowns, string bands, and fancy brigades strut their stuff up Broad Street. But this year, while the music blares and the Mummers dance, a reveling Pierrot suddenly sinks to the ground, shot dead. Amanda is, at first, only a horrified spectator. But when the prime suspect--her friend and fellow teacher at Philly Prep--falsely claims to have been with her at the time of the murder, Amanda can no longer stay on the sidelines. Is the murder a flare-up of deadly rivalries? Is it connected with the disappearance, the week before Christmas, of another Mummer, the heir to a meat-packing family? Does someone disapprove of the Mummers' feathers, sequins, and string bands? And why is no one in the tight-knit world Amanda investigates willing to tell the truth about anything? With Amanda on the scene, the who in whodunit doesn't stay secret for long. In The Mummers' Curse, Gillian Roberts is, as always, at the head of the parade.
The follow-up to Ann B. Ross's beloved debut that kicked off the New York Times bestselling series. Look out for Ann Ross's newest, Miss Julia Raises the Roof, coming April 2018 from Viking. When Miss Julia burst on the scene in her fictional debut, Miss Julia Speaks Her Mind, this proper lady of a certain age found her orderly world turned upside down when Hazel Marie Puckett appeared with her nine-year-old son, Little Lloyd, who looked disturbingly similar to Miss Julia's late husband. Now, in Miss Julia Takes Over, with her sharp tongue and iron backbone intact, Miss Julia must tackle another disruption when Hazel Marie doesn't return from a dinner date with a fund-raiser who, in Miss Julia's opinion, wears his shorts too tight. Frantic and unable to persuade the local police that Hazel Marie is in danger, Miss Julia hires J. D. Pickens to investigate, despite her reservations about his taste for beer and women. She and Little Lloyd help search for Hazel Marie, running into adventures ranging from a most indelicate display of fisticuffs to a high-speed car chase on the track of a NASCAR Speedway, all the while standing strong ...because if Miss Julia doesn't take care of things, who will? Fast paced, funny, and full of colorful characters you'll want to meet again and again, Miss Julia Takes Over is a zany race through the South you'll not soon forget.