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As more and more same-sex couples marry, their parents may need to learn new strategies for continuing healthy relationships with their children and their partners. This book offers a guide to understanding same-sex marriage and, through firsthand accounts, how natal family relationships change, yet can be loving and supportive.
Polls and election results show Americans sharply divided on same-sex marriage, and the controversy is unlikely to subside anytime soon. Debating Same-Sex Marriage provides an indispensable roadmap to the ongoing debate. Taking a "point/counterpoint" approach, John Corvino (a philosopher and prominent gay advocate) and Maggie Gallagher (a nationally syndicated columnist and co-founder of the National Organization for Marriage) explore fundamental questions: What is marriage for? Is sexual difference essential to it? Why does the government sanction it? What are the implications of same-sex marriage for children's welfare, for religious freedom, and for our understanding of marriage itself? While the authors disagree on many points, they share the following conviction: Because marriage is a vital public institution, this issue deserves a comprehensive, rigorous, thoughtful debate.
"Inside of our head is where our smarts are," she said to herself, "And this princess is very smart." Chloe dreams of being a ballerina princess. But today she is not practicing her twirls or leaping from room to room. She digs deep in her art drawer to find what she needs to craft her very own princess ballerina. The project quickly turns into more than a simple princess drawing. Chloe realizes that princesses are not just about beautiful hair and sparkly dresses. As her work of art comes to life, she discovers the qualities of character that make up her princess. When she feels insecure about an imperfection in her art, her dad's point out that the personal quirks make her princess unique! And Chloe realizes that she is not too different from the princess she so admires. "When you know what you want, not much can stop you." Princesses can look all kinds of ways. What kind of princess are you? "Filled with the fuel young girls need to believe in themselves, this book carries the right message at the right time for the next generation of brave young women. It's a must read!" - Katherine Wintsch, Founder and CEO of The Mom Complex "...a breath of fresh air for children of different ages, providing the very essence that children can have dreams and be very creative with those dreams."- Erika Tranfield, Director and Co-founder of Pride Angel
Them Before Us has flipped the script on adult-centric attitudes toward marriage, parenthood, and reproductive technologies by framing these issues around a child’s right to be raised by both their mother and father. Set against a backdrop of sound research, the compelling stories throughout each chapter confirm that a child’s mental, physical, and emotional well-being depends on being loved by the two people responsible for their existence. It’s a paradigm shift that will impact the personal and the political, and reframe every marriage and family conversation across the globe. Them Before Us dispels many prevalent, harmful myths concerning children’s rights, such as: • Kids need only love and safety—moms and dads are optional. • Love makes a family—biology is irrelevant. • Marriage is about adults—it has nothing to do with kids. • Children are resilient and will “get over” divorce. • Studies show “no difference” in outcomes for kids with same-sex parents. • Sperm and egg donor kids are fortunate because they are so wanted. • Surrogacy is a great way to help wannabe parents have a baby. • Reproductive technologies are just like adoption. Are you tired of a culture that views adults as victims in family matters, when it’s clear that kids are the ones who truly pay the price? If so, we are your people, and this is your movement.
In this book the author offers a look at how gay marriage is actually working, by taking readers to a land where it has been legal for same-sex couples to marry since 2001: the Netherlands. Through interviews with married gay couples we learn about the often surprising changes to their relationships, and the reactions of their families and work colleagues. Moreover, he shows how the institution itself has been altered, exploring how the concept of marriage itself has changed in the United States and the Netherlands. The evidence from around the world shows both that marriage changes gay people more than gay people change marriage and that it is the most liberal countries and states making the first moves to recognize gay couples. In the end, the author demonstrates that allowing gay couples to marry does not destroy the institution of marriage and that many gay couples do benefit, in expected as well as surprising ways, from the legal, social, and political rights that the institution offers. This book is a primer on the current state of the same-sex marriage debate, providing new insights into the political, social, and personal stakes involved.
Marriage is an important transition in the life of any adult who marries. But often when a son or daughter gets married, their relationships with their natal families changes. It is often said that a 'daughter is a daughter all of her life, but a son is a son 'til he takes him a wife.' This book examines how marriage changes relationships between adult children and their parents and how this differs for sons versus daughters. Merrill considers the process by which men 'get pulled into' their wives' families and the ways in which men are sometimes more connected to their wives' families following marriage than to their own families. But what is it about a relationship with a son that changes when he marries? And why do daughters tend to stay closer? Why do mothers experience greater difficulty in negotiating relationships with married sons than with married daughters? Why do daughters tend to stay closer and maintain stronger ties to their natal families than sons do? This book answers these questions and offers advice for mothers on how to maintain strong ties with their children when they marry, negotiate relationships that may be fraught with new challenges, and accept changes when they happen. Sharing firsthand accounts from mothers, sons, and daughters, the author sheds new light on this neglected topic.
With precision and passion, David Blankenhorn offers a bold new argument in the debate over same-sex marriage: that it would essentially deny all children, not just the children of same-sex couples, their birthright to their own mother and father. If we change marriage, we change parenthood - for all families. Altering marriage to accommodate same-sex couples would mean weakening in culture and eliminating in law the idea that children need both their mother and their father. The Future of Marriage analyzes recent survey data from 35 countries, offering the first scientific evidence that support for marriage is weakest in those nations where support for gay marriage is strongest. Blankenhorn explains how same-sex marriage would transform our most pro-child social institution into a purely private relationship (''an expression of love'') between adults, defined by each couple as they wish. Changing marriage laws to include same-sex couples, he argues, would require us to ''deinstitutionalize'' marriage, ''amputating from the institution one after another of its core ideas, until the institution itself is like a room with all the furniture removed and everything stripped from the walls.'' For Blankenhorn, the main question concerning the future of marriage in the United States is not whether we will adopt gay marriage. The main question is whether the social institution of marriage will become stronger or weaker. If we wish to strengthen marriage on behalf of children, there is no shortage of ideas for doing so. What matters is whether we as a society regard this as a worthy and urgent goal.
A loving mother shares her journey of parenting a gender creative child, from toddler to adult.
PAPERBACK ORIGINAL A stunning new photobook featuring more than fifty portraits of children brought up by gay parents in America, sixth in a groundbreaking series that looks at LGBTQ communities around the world Judges, academics, and activists keep wondering how children are impacted by having gay parents. Maybe it’s time to ask the kids. For the past four years, award-winning photographer Gabriela Herman, whose mother came out when Herman was in high school and was married in one of Massachusetts’ first legal same-sex unions, has been photographing and interviewing children and young adults with one or more parent who identify as lesbian, gay, trans, or queer. Building on images featured in a major article for the New York Times Sunday Review and The Guardian and working with the Colage organization, the only national organization focusing on children with LGBTQ parents, The Kids brings a vibrant energy and sensitivity to a wide range of experiences. Some of the children Herman photographed were adopted, some conceived by artificial insemination. Many are children of divorce. Some were raised in urban areas, other in the rural Midwest and all over the map. These parents and children juggled silence and solitude with a need to defend their families on the playground, at church, and at holiday gatherings. This is their story. The Kids was designed by Emerson, Wajdowicz Studios (EWS).