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Laurie and Matt Krieg are in a mixed-orientation marriage: Laurie is primarily attracted to women—and so is Matt. With vulnerability and wisdom, they tell the story of how they met and got married, the challenges and breakthroughs of their journey, and what they've learned about how marriage is meant to point us to the love and grace of Jesus.
Sex is cheap. Coupled sexual activity has become more widely available than ever. Cheap sex has been made possible by two technologies that have little to do with each other - the Pill and high-quality pornography - and its distribution made more efficient by a third technological innovation, online dating. Together, they drive down the cost of real sex, and in turn slow the development of love, make fidelity more challenging, sexual malleability more common, and have even taken a toll on men's marriageability. Cheap Sex takes readers on an extended tour inside the American mating market, and highlights key patterns that characterize young adults' experience today, including the timing of first sex in relationships, overlapping partners, frustrating returns on their relational investments, and a failure to link future goals like marriage with how they navigate their current relationships. Drawing upon several large nationally-representative surveys, in-person interviews with 100 men and women, and the assertions of scholars ranging from evolutionary psychologists to gender theorists, what emerges is a story about social change, technological breakthroughs, and unintended consequences. Men and women have not fundamentally changed, but their unions have. No longer playing a supporting role in relationships, sex has emerged as a central priority in relationship development and continuation. But unravel the layers, and it is obvious that the emergence of "industrial sex" is far more a reflection of men's interests than women's.
Fifty years after the Equal Pay Act, why are women still living in a man's world? Debora L. Spar never thought of herself as a feminist. Raised after the tumult of the 1960s, she presumed the gender war was over. As one of the youngest female professors to be tenured at Harvard Business School and a mother of three, she swore to young women that they could have it all. "We thought we could just glide into the new era of equality, with babies, board seats, and husbands in tow," she writes. "We were wrong." Now she is the president of Barnard College, arguably the most important all-women's college in the United States. And in Wonder Women: Sex, Power, and the Quest for Perfection—a fresh, wise, original book— she asks why, a half century after the publication of Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique, do women still feel stuck. In this groundbreaking and compulsively readable book, Spar explores how American women's lives have—and have not—changed over the past fifty years. Armed with reams of new research, she details how women struggled for power and instead got stuck in an endless quest for perfection. The challenges confronting women are more complex than ever, and they are challenges that come inherently and inevitably from being female. Spar is acutely aware that it's time to change course. Both deeply personal and statistically rich, Wonder Women is Spar's story and the story of our culture. It is cultural history at its best, and a road map for the future.
This book offers a detailed road map for overcoming sexual and relationship impasses originating from painful childhood experiences. Large numbers of adults with histories of childhood trauma and neglect suffer persistent relationship and sexual difficulties. Unfortunately, most have failed to receive adequate help with emerging from these deep and complex problems. Coming Home to Passion: Restoring Loving Sexuality in Couples with Histories of Childhood Trauma and Neglect explores the enduring impacts—physiological, psychological, and behavioral—of childhood trauma and neglect. Author Ruth Cohn, drawing on 25 years of experience working with trauma survivors and their partners and families, lays out a practical and actionable course for recovery in clear, accessible language. This book provides direction and hope to those with trauma backgrounds while also serving as a unique resource for professional readers. Integrating in-depth information on attachment and relationship, trauma and neglect, and sexuality, Cohn details a practical, hands-on treatment approach for revitalizing love, health, and passion.
"International sex researcher, neuroscientist, and frequent contributor to The Globe and Mail (Toronto) Debra Soh [discusses what she sees as] gender myths in this ... examination of the many facets of gender identity"--
DESCRIPTION: I grew up in the Southern Baptist church of the 90's during the height of the True Love Waits movement, accompanied by Joshua Harris' bestseller, I Kissed Dating Goodbye. If you don't know what I am referring to, consider yourself blessed. Many of the ideas perpetuated by this culture were infused with fear and shame, offering no practical help or guidance in equipping young people to become healthy sexual human beings. As I approached adulthood, I became accustomed to feeling shame around my sexuality; trying to white-knuckle purity and falling short over and over again. This left me feeling full of self-hatred and hopelessness. I hope for this book to serve as the guide I wish I'd had, providing comfort and clarity to those who find themselves in a similar struggle for sexual health. I have written these essays not only for men but also for women who want to understand what healthy sexuality can look like in a partner. May this book be life-giving to your sexual healing. May courage accompany you as you engage with these essays of spirituality, sexuality, & restoration.ENDORSEMENTS: "Most of us have some sense as to what God says about sex. Few of us have a sense of what sex says about God. In The Sexually Healthy Man, Andrew Bauman shows men how sexuality can be a window into understanding God more deeply; as well as understanding the glory and strength of our own masculine soul. With a rare blend of disarming vulnerability and trauma-informed clinical wisdom, Andrew lovingly helps readers understand the real nature of sexual brokenness. Best of all, he sets men on a proven path to living wholehearted and free in a way that will make us all think differently about sex, spirituality, and restoration." - Michael John Cusick, CEO at Restoring the Soul, Inc. Author of Surfing for God "The Sexually Healthy Man arises out of the immense courage of therapist, Andrew Bauman. The title may seem like an oxymoron to any man paying attention to a newsfeed or a mirror. It's tempting to see the debris of sexual harm around us and within us and respond with despair or minimization. Andrew invites us to an alternative path that is both unflinchingly honest and hope restoring. This is a generous book, full of stories and wisdom. The Sexually Healthy Man can guide you to personal healing and, in the process, it might also enliven you to be a participant in the seismic cultural change needed in our world today."- Jay Stringer, M.Div, MA Author of Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing "As a young therapist, I devoured Irvin Yalom's The Gift of Therapy - winsome and wise letters to his therapists and patients nudging them along in a journey of healing. Like Yalom's short letters, Andrew's essays are deep but accessible, courageous, and compassionate, offered out of the experience of a seasoned therapist. They're engaging invitations to heal our systems and ourselves by addressing our stories, our bodies, and our fears of sex and sexuality. What a gift!" -Chuck DeGroat, PH.D.Professor & Author "As a blogger who often has to pick up the pieces from women betrayed by the men they loved, this book made me hope again! What would the world look like if men would humble themselves, be honest, and reclaim health and wholeness? Let Andrew Bauman lead you on the messy road toward healthy sexuality--and real intimacy between the sexes." -Sheila Wray Gregoire, ToLoveHonorandVacuum.com, Author of The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
Since Darwin's day, we've been told that sexual monogamy comes naturally to our species. Mainstream science—as well as religious and cultural institutions—has maintained that men and women evolved in families in which a man's possessions and protection were exchanged for a woman's fertility and fidelity. But this narrative is collapsing. Fewer and fewer couples are getting married, and divorce rates keep climbing as adultery and flagging libido drag down even seemingly solid marriages. How can reality be reconciled with the accepted narrative? It can't be, according to renegade thinkers Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethå. While debunking almost everything we "know" about sex, they offer a bold alternative explanation in this provocative and brilliant book. Ryan and Jethå's central contention is that human beings evolved in egalitarian groups that shared food, child care, and, often, sexual partners. Weaving together convergent, frequently overlooked evidence from anthropology, archaeology, primatology, anatomy, and psychosexuality, the authors show how far from human nature monogamy really is. Human beings everywhere and in every era have confronted the same familiar, intimate situations in surprisingly different ways. The authors expose the ancient roots of human sexuality while pointing toward a more optimistic future illuminated by our innate capacities for love, cooperation, and generosity. With intelligence, humor, and wonder, Ryan and Jethå show how our promiscuous past haunts our struggles over monogamy, sexual orientation, and family dynamics. They explore why long-term fidelity can be so difficult for so many; why sexual passion tends to fade even as love deepens; why many middle-aged men risk everything for transient affairs with younger women; why homosexuality persists in the face of standard evolutionary logic; and what the human body reveals about the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality. In the tradition of the best historical and scientific writing, Sex at Dawn unapologetically upends unwarranted assumptions and unfounded conclusions while offering a revolutionary understanding of why we live and love as we do.
WHEN IT COMES TO SAME-SEX RELATIONSHIPS, this book by Karen Keen contains the most thoughtful, balanced, biblically grounded discussion you’re likely to encounter anywhere. With pastoral sensitivity and respect for biblical authority, Keen breaks through current stalemates in the debate surrounding faith and sexual identity. The fresh, evenhanded reevaluation of Scripture, Christian tradition, theology, and science in Keen’s Scripture, Ethics, and the Possibility of Same-Sex Relationships will appeal to both traditionalist and progressive church leaders and parishioners, students of ethics and biblical studies, and gay and lesbian people who often feel painfully torn between faith and sexuality.
On the shores of Israel’s Sea of Galilee lies the city of Tiberias, a place bursting with sexuality and longing for love. The air is saturated with smells of cooking and passion. Seven-year-old Shlomi, who develops a remarkable culinary talent, has fallen for Ella, the strange girl next door with suicidal tendencies; his little brother Hilik obsessively collects words in a notebook. In the wild, selfish but magical grown-up world that swirls around them, a mother with a poet’s soul mourns the deaths of literary giants while her handsome, wayward husband cheats on her both at home and abroad. Some Day is a gripping family saga, a sensual and emotional feast that plays out over decades. The characters find themselves caught in cycles of repetition, as if they were “rhymes in a poem, cursed with history.” They become victims of inspired recipes that bring joy and calamity to the cooks and diners. Mysterious curses cause people’s hair to fall out, their necks to swell and the elimination of rational thought amid capitulation to unhealthy urges. This is an enchanting tale about tragic fates that disrupt families and break our hearts. Zarhin’s hypnotic writing renders a painfully delicious vision of individual lives behind Israel’s larger national story.