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While people pleasers can be some of the nicest people you'll meet, they have an uncanny knack for finding themselves in relationships with controllers. Knowing how pleasers are motivated by duty and obligation, the controllers will persuade, cajole, argue, and convince, knowing they can erode the resolve of the pleaser rather quickly. This, of course, leaves the pleaser with residual feelings of hurt, anxiety, and resentment. Because pleasers are not as skilled in the art of coercion as the controller, they can collapse in feelings of futility. In the book, When Pleasing You Is Killing Me, Dr. Les Carter explains how the pleaser can become freed from futility by choosing to stay out of the controller's power games altogether. Drawing upon decades of counseling with a wide array of frustrated nice people, Dr. Carter gives sound direction to those seeking to reclaim their true selves. Relationship boundaries are explained, assertiveness is taught, and insights are offered as the reader is guided into a paradigm shift regarding the ways to respond to a controller.
Those who are in the unenviable position of living or working with a narcissist have learned by sad trial and error that they are the only one in the relationship who can change the dynamic. Certainly narcissists don’t think they need to change. Enough About You, Let’s Talk About Me is a hands-on resource for helping colleagues, families, and spouses deal with people who exhibit narcissistic tendencies by learning how to change their own attitudes and responses.
Two well-respected management experts deliver an authoritative manual that provides valuable insights for turning conflicts in the workplace into productive working relationships. The toughest part of any job is dealing with the people around you. Scratch the surface of any company and uncover a hotbed of emotions—people feeling anxious about performance, angry at co-workers, and misunderstood by management. Now, in WORKING WITH YOU IS KILLING ME, readers learn how to “unhook” from these emotional pitfalls and gain valuable strategies for confronting workplace conflicts in a healthy, productive way. They’ll discover how to: Manage an ill-tempered boss before he or she explodes Defend themselves against idea-pilfering rivals before they steal all the credit Detach from those annoying co-workers whose irritating habits ruin the day And much, much more.
Grace and Divorce, written by noted author and psychotherapist, Dr. Les Carter, provides sound theological thinking on divorce and wise and compassionate suggestions for reframing and deepening our understanding of this difficult and controversial topic. Using stories from his practice as a therapist, Dr. Carter offers healing to both those who divorce and those who know and love them. He explains that Jesus never intended us to be so fixed about right and wrong and so judgmental that we lose the ability to love those who do not meet His perfect standards. With kindness and love, he shows that the wonderful gift of God’s grace is the best way to respond to people facing this trying life challenge.
Stop running. Nothing is chasing you. Thanks to technology, today’s world is more comfortable than ever, but our survival instinct that evolved to protect us from danger is on high alert. Though mild discomforts such as work demands, traffic jams, family conflict, or having to perform under pressure are not life threatening, they can still trigger the brain’s fight or flight fear reaction. And this response can lead to a reliance on drugs, alcohol, overeating, insomnia, phobias, chronic pain, illness, or just losing our temper for no apparent reason. In this eye-opening book, psychologist Dr. Marc Schoen offers practical strategies to tame your overly reactive survival instinct and conquer fear, build resilience, boost decision-making, and improve every aspect of your life.
You're looking across the dinner table at your partner. The thought comes into your mind: Is this it? Is this what life for us is going to be like forever? You've lost your appetite. You're not sure if the questions are valid or not, but they come anyway. If this is true for you, Fixing You is Killing Me is a must-read. Stuart Motola knows the landscape. He lived it in a twenty-year marriage and has consistently guided his coaching clients to a positive resolution. He can help you navigate a relationship that has flatlined back to a life of freedom, high energy, and fulfillment. In Fixing You is Killing Me, he pulls no punches, opens his heart, and shares his wisdom with clarity. Stuart's book delivers on the promise that conscious action will lead you to the authentic, energized life you were born to live. Other insights include how to: - Act courageously when your relationship challenges arise. - Unhook from old unhealthy relational patterns that keep you stuck. - Use relationship struggles to grow, get wiser, and come alive. - Cultivate a relationship with both passion and security. - Know the difference between a love that makes you bigger versus smaller. - Rediscover and cultivate who you seek to be and manifest it in your relationship. - Confront your fear of loss and honor the gifts you've created with your partner when and if change is inevitable.
When a parent singles out a child for special privileges and attention, that child is often unaware that the relationship is unhealthy—even incestuous. As adults, these children struggle to feel validated, because while they have not been directly abused, they feel a sense of violation and crossed boundaries—usually done in the name of 'love' and 'caring.' The parent's love feels more confining than freeing, more demanding than giving, more intrusive than nurturing. Yet these children suffer from what psychologist Kenneth Adams calls The Silent Seduction—because there is nothing loving or caring about a close parent-child relationship that services the needs of the parent rather than the child. In this revised and updated 20th anniversary edition of his groundbreaking book Silently Seduced, Dr. Adams explains how 'feeling close,' especially with the opposite-sex parent, is not the source of comfort the image suggests, especially when that child is cheated out of a childhood by being a parent's surrogate partner. He offers a framework to understand this covert incest and its effect on sexuality, intimacy, and relationships, and how victims can begin the process of recovery.
A practical guide to help executives and managers at all levels adopt a new way of leading in our fast-moving world. In this easy-to-read yet impactful book, leadership expert Dave McKeown dispels many of the leadership mindsets and approaches that are no longer effective in our organizations. In their place, he provides a compelling case for a new kind of leadership focused on achieving the team's common goals and, in doing so, helping them become the best versions of themselves. McKeown outlines the three key steps to help make the transition from Heroic Leadership to Self-Evolved Leadership, and concludes with a comprehensive 15-week program designed to help you evolve your leadership style with the kind of flexible, adaptable best practices that work to deliver results, company-wide. ​This book is ideal for any leader looking to: Stop working in the weeds and think more strategically Build empowerment deep in their team Free up their headspace to be more creative Deliver lasting results for their team and organization
New York Times bestseller • Winner of the Los Angeles Times Book Prize • One of the Washington Post's 10 Best Books of the Year “It’s no exaggeration to say that Behave is one of the best nonfiction books I’ve ever read.” —David P. Barash, The Wall Street Journal "It has my vote for science book of the year.” —Parul Sehgal, The New York Times "Immensely readable, often hilarious...Hands-down one of the best books I’ve read in years. I loved it." —Dina Temple-Raston, The Washington Post From the bestselling author of A Primate's Memoir and the forthcoming Determined: A Science of Life Without Free Will comes a landmark, genre-defining examination of human behavior and an answer to the question: Why do we do the things we do? Behave is one of the most dazzling tours d’horizon of the science of human behavior ever attempted. Moving across a range of disciplines, Sapolsky—a neuroscientist and primatologist—uncovers the hidden story of our actions. Undertaking some of our thorniest questions relating to tribalism and xenophobia, hierarchy and competition, and war and peace, Behave is a towering achievement—a majestic synthesis of cutting-edge research and a heroic exploration of why we ultimately do the things we do . . . for good and for ill.