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Numerous books have been written for adults who grew up coping with troubled and difficult parents. Often the adults who read these books say, I wish someone had told me that when I was a kid; it might have helped me so much. Unfortunately, not much has been written for the kids who are coping in the present with difficult or troubled parents. This book is written out of the belief that intelligent kids can use sound ideas to improve their lives, either on their own or with the help of healthy adults. It will offer help in sorting out whether a difficult situation may be a result of a parent’s problems. In this new third edition, changes have been made throughout in order to update and refine the author’s ideas. Two new chapters have been added, as well. The first new chapter addresses parents who tell lies. Dishonest parents are motivated in several different ways, but all dishonest parents pose special problems for their children. The second chapter discusses the idea that all parents have problems some of the time. In this chapter, the author helps young people look at the challenges posed by recognizing that all parents, even excellent ones, have shortcomings, and it differentiates between the ordinary shortcomings that all parents have and more serious problems in parenting. This book is an excellent resource for therapists, school counselors, group leaders, and others who work with children and teenagers and who want reading materials to recommend to them.
Approximately 2/3 of all children referred to mental health agencies are labeled as having Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Conduct Disorder, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. These children are at increased risk for poor outcomes including academic failure, deviant peer groups, drug use, violenece, and deliquency. Identifying and treating these children as early as possible offers promise for stregnthening child protective factors such as social, emotional, and academic competence and effective parenting, thereby preventing and reducing the development of conduct problems and other secondary risk factors. The book has two elements -- first it allows parents to tell thier stories: sharing what it is like to have a "problem" child as well as the long and painful route to finding support and recovery through parent and child training. The book also elucidates in detail the "collaborative process" of therapists working together with familes. This process combines the knowledge and expertise of the clinician with the unique stregnths, perspectives, culture and goals of parents. Essentially the goal is to empower parents by making them active partners in the therapy process, teaching them parenting strategies to cope effectively with their child and stregnthen their relationship as well as build support networks. The book uses case examples to illustrate these points and provides examples of how to tailor the parent programs for high-risk populations and multicultural families. Examples of when and how to add adjunct therapies such as child and teacher training are also discussed, providing a comprehensive guide for the collaborative process for therapists using the Incredible Years® programs.
Lack of friends * poor self-image * sibling rivalry * hyperactivity * sadness and fearfulness * eating problems * nervous habits * aggressive behavior * defiance * sleep problems * lying * learning disabilities. . . Even normal children can have problems. And parents can help them. That is the powerful assurance Dr. Stanley Turecki offers parents in this compassionate and practical book. Whatever the situation, Dr. Turecki shows you: A new way to understand your child's difficulties and gain insights into causes and solutions How to discuss problems without destructive arguments and win your child's cooperation How to strengthen self-esteem by making the most of your child's individual temperament How to improve discipline by focusing on planning and prevention rather than punishment How to collaborate with teachers about school problems What to do if you are told that your child should be tested for ADD or placed on medication When to seek professional help Including vivid vignettes illustrating a wide range of problems and how they were successfully resolved, this award-winning book is destined to become a parenting classic.
A large segment of the population struggles with feelings of being detached from themselves and their loved ones. They feel flawed, and blame themselves. Running on Empty will help them realize that they're suffering not because of something that happened to them in childhood, but because of something that didn't happen. It's the white space in their family picture, the background rather than the foreground. This will be the first self-help book to bring this invisible force to light, educate people about it, and teach them how to overcome it.
We are used to having our parents help us, but how do we handle it when the tables are turned and our parents are the ones who need help? Declining health, financial needs, divorce, relational issues—what’s an adult child’s role when their parents are struggling? Counselor Jim Newheiser understands the many types of challenges adults may face ...
From leading researchers, this book presents important advances in understanding how growing up in a discordant family affects child adjustment, the factors that make certain children more vulnerable than others, and what can be done to help. It is a state-of-the-science follow-up to the authors' seminal earlier work, Children and Marital Conflict: The Impact of Family Dispute and Resolution. The volume presents a new conceptual framework that draws on current knowledge about family processes; parenting; attachment; and children's emotional, physiological, cognitive, and behavioral development. Innovative research methods are explained and promising directions for clinical practice with children and families are discussed.
Recognize the hidden costs and rewards of childrearing! The Effect of Children on Parents, Second Edition, thoughtfully explores the interactions by which parents and children change, develop, and sometimes affect each other negatively. Everyone knows that parents influence their children, but few people consider the ways in which children affect their parents. The love, satisfaction, and fulfillment children offer can change parents’lives. So can the stress, worry, and financial drain. The Effect of Children on Parents, Second Edition, honestly confronts these long-neglected issues of family dynamics. Taking a unique interdisciplinary approach, this book describes in great detail, with jargon-free language the various aspects of children's effects on their parents. This second edition contains an abundance of fresh information, including nine entirely new chapters that deal with such complex topics as the effects on parents of children with emotional, behavioral, and delinquency problems. The Effect of Children on Parents, Second Edition, asks and answers essential questions on the parent-child dynamic, including: what role does genetic inheritance play in children's responses to their parents? how do peers influence children and through them, their parents? what happens to parents when children are difficult or have emotional problems? what special considerations apply to minority or adoptive parents? how do adult childrem affect their aging parents? how does society support or undermine parents? what roadblocks prevent parents from being as effective as they would like to be? The Effect of Children on Parents, Second Edition, takes a brave look at this often ignored area of family dynamics, giving a richer, more complex, and ultimately more healing view of how humans interact in families. Professors, students, and experts in the fields of child development, family studies, and sociology of childhood and family will find this book a sophisticated tool in their desire to better understand and help families and children.
A Road Map for Parenting in the Troubled Years It is never too late for parents to reach their teenager or young adult. Licensed counselor Connie Rae draws from professional and personal experience to provide insight, encouragement, and advice. Offering wise counsel and a reassuring tone, she helps parents better understand their child's temperament, their own parenting style, and the developmental process their child is going through. She also discusses the world in which their teenager is growing up, which is very different than many parents realize. Each chapter ends with a list of practical steps and a prayer, giving parents wise advice but also offering hope through the process.
Are you struggling to connect with your child now that they've left the nest? Are you feeling the tension and heartache as your relationship dynamic begins to change? In Doing Life with Your Adult Children, bestselling author and parenting expert Jim Burns provides practical advice and hopeful encouragement for navigating this tough yet rewarding transition. If you've raised a child, you know that parenting doesn't stop when they turn eighteen. In many ways, your relationship gets even more complicated--your heart and your head are as involved as ever, but you can feel things shifting, whether your child lives under your roof or rarely stays in contact. Doing Life with Your Adult Children helps you navigate this rich and challenging season of parenting. Speaking from his own personal and professional experience, Burns offers practical answers to the most common questions he's received over the years, including: My child's choices are breaking my heart--where did I go wrong? Is it OK to give advice to my grown child? What's the difference between enabling and helping? What boundaries should I have if my child moves back home? What do I do when my child doesn't seem to be maturing into adulthood? How do I relate to my grown child's significant other? What does it mean to have healthy financial boundaries? How can I support my grown children when I don't support their values? Including positive principles on bringing kids back to faith, ideas on how to leave a legacy as a grandparent, and encouragement for every changing season, Doing Life with Your Adult Children is a unique book on your changing role in a calling that never ends.