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It's Okay to Have Needs of Your Own You fell in love with him. But over time you've come to realize he's in love with himself—and you feel trapped. His needs, his problems, and his plans always seem to take precedence over yours. Dr. David Hawkins, director of the Marriage Recovery Center, offers a guide to help you identify signs of narcissism, understand how your loved one's issues are affecting you, and prepare a biblical game plan for freeing yourself to live courageously in light of God's love. Whether the man in your life can be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), exhibits narcissistic traits and emotionally abusive behavior, or has arrogant and self-centered tendencies, the emotional pain he causes you is very real. Discover the truths, wisdom, and grace you need to spark change in your relationship, set boundaries, and experience healing.
You want to do the right thing—to take care of your family, to be a good employee, to "be there" for your friends. And you're good at it. Everyone knows they can depend on you—so they do. But are you really doing what's best for them? And what about you—are you growing? Are you happy and relaxed? Are you excited about your gifts and your calling, or do you sometimes think, "I don't even know what I want anymore." Find out why you have trouble saying no. Learn why you feel accepted only when you are producing. And finally experience the deep joy and peace that come with serving other people out of your abundance, not out of your need.
"We cannot see what we don't understand. Finally a book about abuse that blazes a path through the complex dynamics of domestic violence and helps the one who is being hurt to look at herself - with compassion and tough love. To be strategic and smart. To choose herself. This fairy tale busting, no-bullshit, no judgement gem of a book brings together the collaborative genius of a brilliant therapist and a courageous survivor of abuse and offers stories, strategies and solutions to one of the most misunderstood and intractable of human predicaments: when a woman loves a man who hurts her. Compelling, insightful and utterly liberating. I wanted to stand and cheer when I finished reading it. This book will save lives." - Joanne Fedler, international best-selling author and women's rights activist "When Loving Him Hurts is a beautiful and poignant reminder that everyone has options." Nadia Bilchik CNN Editorial Producer Ask any woman whether a man has ever hurt her, and the answer in all probability will be a resounding yes. Yet despite women's abuse being one of the most topical and written about subjects today, there are still many myths and preconceptions surrounding the syndrome. Did you know: Most abused women don't heed the signs because they don't know what they are; Most people think abuse is purely physical; Unless a woman has been raped or assaulted she cannot report it; Despite it seeming logical by the concerned outsider, an abused woman usually cannot just up and leave. The responsibility of children, rent and the effects of disempowerment that come with systematic abuse need to be overcome. There is no way to evaluate the cost of abuse to the economy unless it results in litigation such as a restraining orders and most don't. When loving him hurts is a comprehensive selfhelp manual that will appeal to any woman who has ever been psychologically, emotionally, financially or physically hurt by a man.Through penetrating case studies, work sheets and psychological insights, When loving him hurts will help the reader identify and accept her situation of abuse and subsequently empower her to learn the art of the sacred No, reclaiming self-esteem and healing through life-changing, creative expression. It is an invaluable tool, a unique guide written specifically for wounded women, by two women who are all too familiar with the silent and invisible stain of abuse that marks the world we live in.
Some of the most difficult people to deal with are those who fail to take responsibility for their lives and who wreak havoc in their relationships. Author and relationship doctor David Hawkins offers help for those caught unavoidably in the craziness of a disordered person's life. With clear explanations, examples, and real life solutions, Hawkins shows readers how to develop healthy life skill tools and boundaries when, why, and how to confront a person who drives them crazy how disordered people think, act, and see the world Anyone trapped in another person's cycle of disorder will discover ways to change their own response, perspective, and communication, and ultimately will find the hope of peace in the chaos.
The human heart was created with a great capacity to love. But along with that comes a great capacity to feel pain. There is no denying that those who love us, who are closest to us, can wound us the most profoundly. That kind of pain can be difficult, if not impossible, to overcome. And it can feel even more impossible to continue loving in the face of it. Yet that is exactly what we are called to do. Sharing his own story of personal pain, pastor and New York Times bestselling author Jentezen Franklin shows us how to find the strength, courage, and motivation to set aside the hurt, see others as God sees them, and reach out in love. Through biblical and modern-day stories, he discusses different types of relational disappointment and heartache, and answers questions such as Why should I trust again? and How can I ever really forgive? The walls we build around our hearts to cut us off from pain are the very walls that block us from seeing hope, receiving healing, and feeling love. Here are the tools and inspiration you need to tear down those walls, work through your wounds, repair damaged relationships, and learn to love like you've never been hurt.
If you live or work with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), you probably often feel put down. You feel ashamed of your own needs. Your relationship may feel so out of control that you wonder if you’ve lost your sanity. As a clinical psychotherapist for nearly thirty years, Patricia Kuhlman has worked with many people who have been victimized by another’s NPD. She joins Stephen Arterburn to explore: Practical tools to break the cycle of pain and find healing What narcissism is and how people become narcissists The most current research about NPD How to define, express, and establish personal boundaries A how-to, self-care program including sample responses to narcissistic behaviors Most importantly, Kuhlman offers validation, understanding, and encouragement. Being in relationship with a narcissist can be lonely and confusing. Find stability and truth in this practical guide.
Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? When you first met your spouse you probably had a physical response to the emotions you felt. You’d get butterflies in your stomach, your heart would race, and your palms would sweat. So why is it that after you’re married, it’s so hard to make the connection between your physical health and your emotional well-being when you’re facing relational stress? If your emotional pain feels physical and your physical pain feels emotional, your marriage may be making you sick—literally. Join Dr. David Hawkins and his sons, an internist and a surgeon, as they explore the effects relational stress and trauma can have on our bodies. You will learn to . . . recognize the link between emotional and physical pain embrace the power of choice to become empowered by hope find a path forward to ultimate restoration and regain your life No matter what kind of pain you’re experiencing, or how long your health has been in decline, you don’t have to stay stuck. Discover hope and healing when you take control of your life.
Something Has to Change… You can’t put it into words, but something is happening to you. Your stomach churns, your heart aches, and the tension in your marriage is making you feel weary and a little crazy. The constant criticism, disrespect, cruelty, deceit, and gross indifference are eroding your confidence and breaking your spirit. For any woman caught in an emotionally destructive marriage, Leslie Vernick offers a personalized path forward. Based on decades of counseling experience, her intensely practical, biblical advice will show you how to establish boundaries and break free from emotional abuse. Learn to: · identify damaging behaviors · gain the skills to respond wisely · promote healthy change · stay safe · understand when, why, and even how to leave · recognize that God sees and hates what is happening to you Trying harder to be a perfect fantasy wife won’t help fix what’s wrong your marriage. Discover instead how you can initiate effective changes to stop the cycle of destruction and restore hope for the future. “Women in an emotionally abusive marriage do not need another book on how to have a good marriage; those books rub salt in raw wounds. No, they desperately need this book so that they can diagnose just how bad their marriage is and then, with Leslie’s clear expertise, develop a plan that will either begin to turn their marriage around...or give them a wise route of escape.” —Dee Brestin, author of Idol Lies and The Friendships of Women
A first-ever how-to book to help abusive men change their behavior by changing their thinking. End the cycle of abuse - for good. Authors Charlie Donaldson, Randy Flood and Elaine Eldridge uncover a proven action plan that violent men can use to change their behavior. Filled with insightful questionnaires and actual case histories, the essential how-to book Stop Hurting the Woman You Love, will help end abusive patterns in favor of healthier, happier relationships.
NATIONAL BESTSELLER • Soon to be a Hulu Original series • The internationally acclaimed author of Wild collects the best of The Rumpus's Dear Sugar advice columns plus never-before-published pieces. Rich with humor and insight—and absolute honesty—this "wise and compassionate" (New York Times Book Review) book is a balm for everything life throws our way. Life can be hard: your lover cheats on you; you lose a family member; you can’t pay the bills—and it can be great: you’ve had the hottest sex of your life; you get that plum job; you muster the courage to write your novel. Sugar—the once-anonymous online columnist at The Rumpus, now revealed as Cheryl Strayed, author of the bestselling memoir Wild—is the person thousands turn to for advice.