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People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be intensely caring, warm, smart, and funny—but their behavior often drives away those closest to them. If you're struggling in a tumultuous relationship with someone with BPD, this is the book for you. Dr. Shari Manning helps you understand why your spouse, family member, or friend has such out-of-control emotions—and how to change the way you can respond. Learn to use simple yet powerful strategies that can defuse crises, establish better boundaries, and radically transform your relationship. Empathic, hopeful, and science based, this is the first book for family and friends grounded in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), the most effective treatment for BPD.
In this compassionate guide, Jerold Kreisman—author of I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me—offers a powerful set of tools to help you express yourself, set boundaries, and cultivate healthy communication with a loved one who is diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD). If you have a loved one with BPD, you need real, proven-effective strategies to help you navigate the intense emotions and conflict that can arise in daily interactions and conversations. People with BPD often feel anger, pain, and hurt from a history of invalidation and disappointment, and their difficulty in regulating emotions can lead to moments of lashing out that can confuse and upset those around them. Written by a psychiatrist with more than 40 years of experience in treating BPD, Talking to a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder offers a breakthrough, compassionate approach to communicating with a loved one who has BPD. The SET (support, empathy, truth) method outlined in this book is a powerful and simple tool that will allow you to honestly address your loved one’s demands, assertions, and feelings while still maintaining appropriate boundaries. Each step builds on the last, helping you build up a consistent and reliable communication process. In this book, you’ll find a review of BPD and the common communication problems inherent in the disorder. You’ll learn how SET can address these issues. And finally, you’ll find detailed examples of specific scenarios that can arise when talking to a loved one with BPD. Remember—validation isn’t the same as agreement. You can help your loved one feel validated while still maintaining your own boundaries. This essential guide will show you how.
The authoritative guide to understanding and living with borderline personality disorder, now fully revised and updated Millions of Americans suffer from borderline personality disorder (BPD), a psychiatric condition marked by extreme emotional instability, erratic and self-destructive behavior, and tumultuous relationships. Though it was once thought to be untreatable, today researchers and clinicians know that there is every reason for hope. Dr. Robert Friedel, a leading expert and pioneer in pharmacological treatment for BPD, combines his extensive knowledge and personal experience into this comprehensive guide. Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified shares: The latest findings on the course and causes of the disorder Up-to-date information on diagnosis An accessible overview of cutting-edge treatment options For those who have been diagnosed and those who think they may have the illness, and for the family and friends who love and support them, this book illuminates new information and points the way to an ever more hopeful future. The revised edition includes new forewords from Donald W. Black, MD, and Nancee S. Blum, MSW, and family educators James and Diane Hall.
Gentle counsel and realistic advice for families contending with one of today's most misunderstood forms of mental illness. For family members of people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), home life is routinely unpredictable and frequently unbearable. Extreme mood swings, impulsive behaviors, unfair blaming and criticism, and suicidal tendencies--common conduct among those who suffer from the disorder--leave family members feeling confused, hurt, and helpless. In Stop Walking on Eggshells, Randi Kreger's pioneering first book which sold more than 340,000 copies, she and co-author Paul T. Mason outlined the fundamental differences in the way that people with BPD relate to the world. Now, with The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder, Kreger takes readers to the next level by offering them five straightforward tools to organize their thinking, learn specific skills, and focus on what they need to do to get off the emotional rollercoaster: (1) Take care of yourself; (2) Uncover what keeps you feeling stuck; (3) Communicate to be heard; (4) Set limits with love; and (5) Reinforce the right behaviors. Together the steps provide a clear-cut system designed to help friends and family reduce stress, improve their relationship with their borderline loved one, improve their problem-solving skills and minimize conflict, and feel more self-assured about setting limits.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is characterized by unstable moods, negative self-image, dangerous impulsivity, and tumultuous relationships. Many people with BPD excel in academics and careers while revealing erratic, self-destructive, and sometimes violent behavior only to those with whom they are intimate. Others have trouble simply holding down a job or staying in school. Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder is a compassionate and informative guide to understanding this profoundly unsettling--and widely misunderstood--mental illness, believed to affect approximately 6% of the general population. Rather than viewing people with BPD as manipulative opponents in a bitter struggle, or pitying them as emotional invalids, Valerie Porr cites cutting-edge science to show that BPD is a true neurobiological disorder and not, as many come to believe, a character flaw or the result of bad parenting. Porr then clearly and accessibly explains what BPD is, which therapies have proven effective, and how to rise above the weighty stigma associated with the disorder. Offering families and loved ones supportive guidance that both acknowledges the difficulties they face and shows how they can be overcome, Porr teaches empirically-supported and effective coping behaviors and interpersonal skills, such as new ways of talking about emotions, how to be aware of nonverbal communication, and validating difficult experiences. These skills are derived from Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Mentalization-based Therapy, two evidence-based treatments that have proven highly successful in reducing family conflict while increasing trust. Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder is an empowering and hopeful resource for those who wish to gain better understanding of the BPD experience--and to make use of these insights in day-to-day family interactions. Winner of the ABCT Self Help Book Seal of Merit Award 2011
Isn’t it time you stopped walking on eggshells? Learn how with this fully revised and updated third edition of a self-help classic—now with more than one million copies sold! Do you feel manipulated, controlled, or lied to? Are you the focus of intense, violent, and irrational rages? Do you feel you are ‘walking on eggshells’ to avoid the next confrontation? If the answer is ‘yes,’ someone you care about may have borderline personality disorder (BPD)—a mood disorder that causes negative self-image, emotional instability, and difficulty with interpersonal relationships. Stop Walking on Eggshells has already helped more than a million people with friends and family members suffering from BPD understand this difficult disorder, set boundaries, and help their loved ones stop relying on dangerous BPD behaviors. This fully revised third edition has been updated with the very latest BPD research on comorbidity, extensive new information about narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), the effectiveness of schema therapy, and coping and communication skills you can use to stabilize your relationship with the BPD or NPD sufferer in your life. This compassionate guide will enable you to: Make sense out of the chaos Stand up for yourself and assert your needs Defuse arguments and conflicts Protect yourself and others from violent behavior If you’re ready to bring peace and stability back into your life, this time-tested guide will show you how, one confident step at a time.
Understanding the problem. The clinical picture -- "Personality" and more -- Causes. The four faces of borderline personality disorder -- What the person has: the disease perspective -- The dimensions of borderline personality discorder -- Behaviors I: addiction and eating disorders -- Behaviors II: self-harming behaviors and dissociation -- The life story: childhood experiences, development, trauma -- Treatment. Treating the disease -- Treating the behaviors -- Understanding the dimensions and addressing the life story -- Treatment approaches: putting it all together -- Themes and variations -- How to cope, how to help. If you've been diagnosed with borderline personality discorder --- For parents, partners, friends, and co-workers.
This booklet is designed for people who have someone in their lives who has borderline personality disorder (BPD). The first three sections include information about the symptoms and causes and treatment of BPD. Section four talks about how to support someone who has BPD and the last section discusses self-care for family and friends. Contents: - about personality disorders - about borderline personality disorder - treatment for people with BPD - supporting the family member who has BPD - self-care - recovery and hope - family crisis information sheet.
Discusses the signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder and explains how the families and friends of patients can cope with BPD behavior while taking care of themselves.
This book is for anyone who thought they were good friends with someone, only to be yelled at unexpectedly, for anyone who has a coworker who twists others’ words, or for anyone who has a spouse who is violent and accusatory. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental illness that can make loved ones feel as if it is their fault. Stephen Arterburn and Dr. Robert Wise wants readers to know it’s not their fault and there is hope. In this book, they offer readers advice on how to relate to people with BPD at home, work, and church. Readers don’t need to feel alone any longer. Help is on the way.