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Sometimes moms can't remember where they put the car keys.
With Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters, Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of the smash #1 bestseller Toxic Parents, offers a powerful look at the devastating impact unloving mothers have on their daughters—and provides clear, effective techniques for overcoming that painful legacy. In more than 35 years as a therapist, Forward has worked with large numbers of women struggling to escape the emotional damage inflicted by the women who raised them. Subjected to years of criticism, competition, role-reversal, smothering control, emotional neglect and abuse, these women are plagued by anxiety and depression, relationship problems, lack of confidence, and difficulties with trust. They doubt their worth, and even their ability to love. Forward examines the Narcissistic Mother, the Competitive Mother, the Overly Enmeshed mother, the Control Freak, Mothers who need Mothering, and mothers who abuse or fail to protect their daughters from abuse. Filled with compelling case histories, Mothers Who Can’t Love outlines the self-help techniques Forward has developed to transform the lives of her clients, showing women how to overcome the pain of childhood and how to act in their own best interests. Warm and compassionate, Mothers Who Can’t Love offers daughters the emotional support and tools they need to heal themselves and rebuild their confidence and self-respect.
There are lots of things that regular people can do but dads can't. Dads can't cross the street without holding hands. They can push, but can't swing. When dads play hide-and-seek they always get found, but they have a hard time finding you. Dads really need to be kissed good night at bedtime. It's a wonder they make it through life at all!
A calm moment is a rare find in a mom’s chaotic day. But she needs it. She needs the moment to refocus and refresh her soul. She needs the inspiration to find God in the mess and the mundane that often defines her. She craves the solitude of a moment with the Master to quiet the storms. She needs to laugh and remember why she loves being a mom. Don't Make Me Come Up There! is filled with inspirational and hilarious true-life stories and reflections written by a very human mom. Moms will recognize themselves in the pages of this book written for real, everyday mothers who know what it’s like to catch vomit with one hand while starting a load of laundry with the other (and never confusing the two!). The fifty-two reflections encourage moms to revel in the everyday beauty of their lives and grow closer to God through it all. "I couldn’t help thinking of the last time my children had scattered up the stairs and disappeared into a quiet abyss. Initially, I thought they were just delighting in one another’s company, holding hands, and making paper daisies. But that thought lasted for 1.2 seconds before I snapped out of my delusion only to discover my oldest giving her brother a “haircut” and my youngest smearing soap all over the bathroom. . . " from the book
Instead of preaching what mothers ought to do, psychotherapist Naomi Stadlen explains what mothers already do in the course of any exhausting day's work. Drawing from countless conversations with hundreds of mothers spanning more than a decade, What Mothers Do provides lucid insight into the true experience of motherhood and answers the perennial question common to mothers everywhere: What have I done all day? Stadlen's wise reflections, threaded throughout with the voices of real mothers, explore unsentimental reactions to motherhood-resentment, guilt, splintered identity, crippling inefficiency, and deadening fatigue. Yet the overriding sentiment is one of empowerment and wonder, as Stadlen illustrates how seemingly insignificant skills such as responding to a baby's colicky cry, being instantly interruptible, or soothing an overstimulated child to sleep profoundly contribute to an individual's socialization, self-worth, and curiosity. Remarkably perceptive and heartening, What Mothers Do will resonate with mothers everywhere in search of understanding and wisdom.
Reflects on the idea that if there were no teachers, no one would educate and engage children and all knowledge would be lost.
Being a good mom isn't about doing everything right to create a set of perfect trophy children--though every mom has felt the pressure to do just that and to do it all on her own. To ask for help feels like defeat. Yet when we try to do it all by our own strength, we end up depleted, lonely, and ineffective. Heather MacFadyen wants you to know that you are not meant to go it alone. Sharing her most vulnerable, hard mom moments, she shows how moms can be empowered by God, supported by others, and connected with their children. With encouragement and insight, she helps you foster the key relationships you need to be the mom you want to be. Whether you work or stay home, whether you have teenagers or babes in arms, you'll find here a compassionate friend who wants the best--not just for your kids but for you.
“A book of great value for every daughter and every mother; useful for sons, too.”—Benjamin Spock, M.D. From the Introduction: The goal of this book is to help readers achieve that separation so that they can either find a way to be friends with their mothers, or at least recognize and accept that their mothers did the best they could—even if it wasn't “good enough”—and to stop blaming them. Among the issues to be covered: • To understand how a daughter's attachment to her mother—more so than her relationship with her father—colors all her other relationships, and to analyze why it is more difficult for daughters than sons to separate from their mothers, as well as why daughters are more subject than sons to a mother's manipulation • To recognize the difference between a healthy and a destructive mother-daughter connection, and to define clearly the “bad mommy,” in order to help readers who have trouble acknowledging their childhood losses to begin to comprehend them • To conjugate what I call the “Bad Mommy Taboo”—why our culture is more eager to protect the sanctity of maternity than it is to protect emotionally abused daughters • To describe the evolution of the "unpleasable" mother—in all likelihood, she was bereft of maternal love as a child—and to recognize the huge, and often poignant, stake she has in keeping her grown daughter dependent and off-balance • To illustrate the consequent controlling behavior—in some cases, cloaked in fragility or good intentions—of such mothers, which falls into general patterns, including: the Doormat, the Critic, the Smotherer, the Avenger, the Deserter • To understand that the daughter has a similar stake in either being a slave to or hating her mother—the two sides of her depen dency and immaturity • To illustrate the responsive behavior—and survival mechanisms —of daughters, which is determined in part by such variables as birth rank, family history, and temperament, and which also falls into patterns, including: the Angel, the Superachiever, the Cipher, the Troublemaker, the Defector • To show how to redefine the mother-daughter relationship, so that each can learn to see and accept the other as she is today, appreciating each other's good qualities and not being snared by the bad • Finally, to demonstrate that a redefined relationship with one's mother—adult to adult—frees you from the past, whether that re definition ultimately results in real friendship, affectionate truce, or divorce.
There are lots of things regular people can do, but grandmas can't. Grandmas can't bake your favorite cookies by themselves. And sometimes they can't laugh without tears coming out of their eyes. Grandmas can't let you go to bed without reading you a story -- or six. But of all the many things grandmas can't do, there's one thing that they can't do best of all; they can't possibly love you more than they already do!
A simple argument guides this book: motherhood is the place in our culture where we lodge, or rather bury, the reality of our own conflicts. By making mothers the objects of both licensed idealization and cruelty, we blind ourselves to the world’s iniquities and shut down the portals of the heart. Mothers are the ultimate scapegoat for our personal and political failings, for everything that is wrong with the world, which becomes their task (unrealizable, of course) to repair. Moving commandingly between pop cultural references such as Roald Dahl’s Matilda to insights on motherhood in the ancient world and the contemporary stigmatization of single mothers, Jacqueline Rose delivers a groundbreaking report into something so prevalent we hardly notice. Mothers is an incisive, rousing call to action from one of our most important contemporary thinkers.