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Contains 360 Ashleigh Brilliant created epigrams originally designed as postcards.
KoKo Bear Can Help Children * learn what divorce means * deal with changes in their everyday lives * talk about their feelings * recognize that their feelings are natural * be assured that their parents still love them and will take care of them * understand that divorce is not their fault
Never be stuck for a wicked line again! - the ultimate collection of insults Here is the biggest and best ever collection of insults and sharp retorts for when you just wish you could have thought of something faster. Editor Geoff Tibballs presents more than 5,000 come-backs, put-downs, snaps, insults, unadmiring quips and quotes, for every occasion. From the most elegant of studied insults to the wickedest of putdowns, from the language of the street to the literary, political, and entertainment worlds, from playground insults to sports, family and marriage jibes - here is every possible barb you could ever need, guaranteed to crack up all those around you. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? Your mother's so fat, she has her own area code. Are your parents siblings? Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice. Is there no beginning to your talents? You'd be out of your depth in a puddle. Don't you need a licence to be that ugly? I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my arse. I'd love to go out with you but I have to worm my dog.
Set over the course of one day, Aminah Mae Safi's This Is All Your Fault is a smart and voice-driven YA novel that follows three young women determined to save their indie bookstore. Rinn Olivera is finally going to tell her longtime crush AJ that she’s in love with him. Daniella Korres writes poetry for her own account, but nobody knows it’s her. Imogen Azar is just trying to make it through the day. When Rinn, Daniella, and Imogen clock into work at Wild Nights Bookstore on the first day of summer, they’re expecting the hours to drift by the way they always do. Instead, they have to deal with the news that the bookstore is closing. Before the day is out, there’ll be shaved heads, a diva author, and a very large shipment of Air Jordans to contend with. And it will take all three of them working together if they have any chance to save Wild Nights Bookstore.
Whoever said, "sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you" never met an a**hole. Here, you'll find more than 1,200 of the most biting quotes, comments, and comebacks ever uttered, including: "I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence." --George Bernard Shaw "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." --Albert Einstein "If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you." --Muhammed Ali You won't just find quotes from typical a**holes like Winston Churchill, Joseph Stalin, and Mark Twain, either. You'll also see what happens when practically perfect folks like Walt Disney, Mahatma Ghandi, and Audrey Hepburn lose their cool. So embrace your dark side and get ready to enjoy every over-confident, over-blown, over-the-top a**hole comment you'll ever need.
Finding and using apt illustrations to enhance a sermon or Bible study is a fine art. In this book, Forrest Chaffee proves himself a master at this endeavor. I highly recommend this book to anyone wanting to plumb the depths of some of the most significant miracles of Jesus. Herbert Chilstrom Former Presiding Bishop Evangelical Lutheran Church in America The Gospel of John has a unique function - unlike the synoptic Gospels, which provide chronological accounts of Jesus' life and ministry, John weaves the story and words of Jesus around seven miracles that he calls "signs." These signs are the visible evidence that Jesus is the source of true life. Through his spoken words and healing power, Jesus' inspiring life force flows outwardly to all who believe in him. This in-depth exploration of the miracle stories in John's Gospel helps you discover how to tap in to this powerful life force and become more alive than ever. Each chapter studies the scripture text of a miracle to identify the quality associated with it, then offers numerous illustrative examples demonstrating how this "sign" or trait can positively influence daily living. With thought-provoking discussion questions included, More Alive Than Ever is an excellent resource for small group Bible study or adult Sunday school classes. Its convenient illustration index also makes this a rich source of meaningful metaphors and stories for preaching. But even more, it's stimulating reading for anyone who wants greater insight into these marvelous accounts of God's power at work. Chapters include: Joy Is Like The Rain John 2:1-12 Trust Is An Umbrella John 4:46-54 Hope Can Be Moving John 5:1-9 Bread Is Always Needed John 6:1-14 Peace Is Like A Flowing River John 6:16-21 Seeing Is Getting The Mud Out Of Your Eyes John 9:1-41 New Life Is Like A Grain Of Wheat John 11:1-44 This book is a beautiful witness to the possibilities of a deeper and richer spiritual life. Chaffee opens up for us the spiritual wisdom of John's Gospel in understandable simplicity. Jerry L. Schmalenberger Former President Pacific Lutheran Theological Seminary Forrest Chaffee has an amazing gift of using stories and illustrations to help his readers discover what he is attempting to say. Laypersons will find this text to be very interesting and easy to read and understand. Chaffee takes the signs of Jesus and brings them down to very practical and earthy applications of everyday life. (from the Foreword) Paul M. Werger Bishop Emeritus, Southeastern Iowa Synod Evangelical Lutheran Church in America Forrest Chaffee opens up the signs of John's Gospel to us as he also opens up his own life and experiences for us to behold. Pastors and laypersons alike will enjoy his rich storytelling abilities. This engaging work, deeply rooted in a faithful pastor's heart, is a resource that will surely help others grow in their faith - and become more alive than ever! Daniel Solomon Senior Pastor, Augustana Lutheran Church Boone, Iowa In its sensitivity and simplicity, Forrest Chaffee's pastoral style penetrates to the heart of the Fourth Gospel's theology, which is the sacramental nature of all life. Both the Evangelist and Pastor Chaffee encourage readers to find God in the immediacy of daily existence. Edward W. Amend Emeritus Professor of Religion and Humanities University of Northern Iowa Forrest Chaffee served for over 40 years as the pastor of Lutheran congregations in Minnesota and Iowa. He has taught Old Testament, New Testament, and church history at Gustavus Adolphus College.
The genesis of the alliterations in this book was an email exchange in 2001 with a colleague in Albany, New York. In the emails, we traded alliterations back and forth, variously signing our emails Phrantic in Philadelphia, Accommodating in Albany, Perplexed in Philadelphia and finally, Alliterative in Albany. This email exchange was ultimately the inspiration for my first alliteration about the city of Albany. I then set myself the challenge of exploring the alliterative possibilities of each letter of the alphabet and this slim volume of alliterative verse, Alliteration, Again and Again, is the culmination of that endeavor. My earnest hope is that this work will not be dismissed as: Alliteration, an author affliction and awful addiction, avoiding any actual artistic achievement.!
Worried about something? You don’t have to stay that way. Scared Silly goes after the nasties of anxiety, hopelessness, and constant chocolate cravings with tips and tricks, pithy sayings, and Spirit-given insight—all punctuated with laugh-out-loud humor. Questions for personal reflection or group discussion included.
One last chance. One wild weekend. Flat out the funniest book of the year. "Paul Rudnick makes me lie hysterical on the floor, screeching with laughter and sobbing with fury that I can't write the way he does." -- E. Lockhart, author of We Were Liars and The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-BanksMy name is Caitlin and up until forty-eight hours ago I had never:Tasted alcohol, kissed a boy, sang in public at the top of my lungs, kidnapped anyone or -- WHAT? STOLEN A CONVERTIBLE?Now I'm in jail and I have no idea what I'm going to tell:The police, my parents, the mayor, all of those camera crews and everyone on Twitter.I have just noticed that:My nose is pierced and I have-WAIT? IS THAT A TATTOO?I blame one person for this entire insane weekend:My famous cousin.Who is also my former best friend.Who I have HATED for the past four years.Who I miss like crazy. NO I DON'T!!!!IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, HELLER HARRIGAN!!!!
The bestselling book on the art of the insult is back and it’s more blasphemous than ever. Author and snark connoisseur Lawrence Dorfman does his absolute worst, dishing out hundreds of clever insults for all situations and occasions. From careful instructions on how and when to throw a verbal punch to an expertly curated collection of the best insults in history, this uproarious little book has everything you need to become the ultimate slanderer. Every page is packed with delightfully mean one-liners for swiftly scorning your foes: “You’re not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.” “You started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.” “His men would follow him anywhere but it was only out of morbid curiosity.” “Perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.” “You fill a much-needed gap.” Complete with charming black and white drawings that complement the book’s verbal spars, The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition proves that the pen truly is mightier than the sword, and will ensure you’re never again without the perfect quip or comeback.