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Stand back! The tales in this raunchy round-the-world romp might get you dirty. We've all had unspeakable experiences while traveling that we're ashamed to admit, but these often become our best stories in the retelling. The writers in this collection cast inhibition aside and reveal their weirdest and worst moments and how they made the best of them. And memorable moments in exotic destinations come in all shapes and sizes: insects as big as Pam Anderson’s left tit, regrettable sex, stink-eyed officials, horrible healers, Lady Gaga’s shoes and Madonna’s special meal, trigger-happy militants, and peeping Tom rock stars. Adventure vicariously as: Spud Hilton (not Monty Python) finds the Holy Grail by accident. Meghan Ward squats, and then the toilet grunts back, in Goa. Kasha Rigby proved how tough she is on National Geographic’s Ultimate Survival Alaska, but is she a match for a 90-year-old bone breaker in Guatemala? Namibians stereotype Chinese men as Bruce Lee—Gerald Yeung wonders if attacking baboons will do the same. Keph Senett (hoping not to follow in the footsteps of Pussy Riot) braves bombs, police and a Soviet-era sofa bed to play soccer at the LGBT games in Putin’s Russia. Jabba-the-Turd versus Shannon Bradford in an epic showdown in Argentina. And many more….
"Your life isn't over." My dad says this. "I mean, YOUR life isn't over. Beyond the kids. You'll go on living, doing things. This isn't it." I know, I assure him. I have the kids. They need me. They're my life now. "OK," he replies, then grunts—more of a brief hum. He only hums when he thinks I'm full of shit. Shockingly single. Amy Biancolli's life went off script more dramatically than most after her husband of twenty years jumped off the roof of a parking garage. Left with three children, a three-story house, and a pile of knotty psychological complications, Amy realizes the flooding dishwasher, dead car battery, rapidly growing lawn, basement sump pump, and broken doorknob aren't going to fix themselves. She also realizes that "figuring shit out" means accepting the horrors that came her way, rolling with them, slogging through them, helping others through theirs, and working her way through life with love and laughter. Amy Biancolli is an author and journalist whose column appears in the Albany Times Union. Before that, Amy served as film critic for the Houston Chronicle where her reviews, published around the country, won her the 2007 Comment and Criticism Award from the Texas Associated Press Managing Editors Association. Biancolli is the author of House of Holy Fools: A Family Portrait in Six Cracked Parts, which earned her Albany Author of the Year. Amy lives in Albany, New York, with her three children.
100% pure high octane Bogosian. Bogosian's latest and greatest monologue. "His wit is as venomous as ever, his material even more devastating and polished than before."—New York Daily News "Bogosian hasn't simply crossed the line of good taste, he has snorted it."—The Daily Texan Wake Up is Bogosian's meditation on making it to the top of the ladder, on falling off the ladder and on the exhilarating thrill of the ultimate crash and burn. Once again the author offers a blisteringly funny and dead-on take of the chaos and alienation of post-modern life in the U. S. of the year 2000. As Michael Feingold so ably offered in his Village Voice review—"Bogosian is there, watching out for the downtrodden, ridiculing the arrogant rich, defending battered wives and neo-hippie hitchhikers and never losing sight of his own capacity for being classed among the batters and bullies. But his 95 minutes is as fast and exciting a read as the theatre community offers. In our time, the stage has almost been what classical thinkers saw it as, a medium for criticizing life. How perfect that a solo performer should rediscover its roots, by choosing his own life as the object of his criticism." Eric Bogosian, born in Woburn, Massachusetts, has performed his plays and monologues at venues nationwide. Winner of Obie and Drama Desk Awards, he has made four films of his work, most notably Talk Radio and Suburbia. His novel Mall was recently published by Simon and Schuster.
The doctor said something in Russian and the translator translated." I am told you did not eat your breakfast. Are you feeling sick to your stomach?" "No. I feel fine. I feel great. I just don't like Kasha," The doctor came over to me and said "aw." I stuck out my tongue to show her how great my throat was now. She made a hmmm noise and wrote on her chart. The nurse produced a thermometer. "Roll over," the translator said." The doctor needs to take your temperature." They had me trapped. I hated them all. I rolled over. My frilly bloomers were pulled down. The thermometer was freezing. I lay there in full view with a thermometer sticking out of my bum. The Russian girl in the next bed was looking at me. I heard people in the hall. People came in and out of the room. How many people did this have to involve? How many people needed to look at my bare bum with a thermometer sticking out of it? I hated the girl staring at me. I put my face down in the pillow. Maybe I'd suffocate and die. Normally I did not want to die, right now though it would have been better that way, better to die. Several minutes went by. It was quiet now. When was the nurse going to come back and read my temperature, which was going to be normal after all of this? I was fine. I waited. I waited. They must have forgotten about me. Jeepers Creepers! They forgot they were taking my temperature.
A Hustler's journey is not your average thug tale or love story. It is an amalgamation of both. It is loosely based on the life of David, a Bronx born native, from adolescence to adulthood. In the mid 80’s at the start of the crack era, David’s family traveled south to visit his relatives, and brought his childhood friend Chris. While out there David was mesmerized in the difference of the drug game compared to New York. They decided to go back and capitalize off the price difference. Within their travels back and forth on the interstate, he became highly successful. He was able to obtain flashy cars and jewelry. David had altercations out of town that he dealt with conscientiously, that propelled his status even more. He was looked at as a ghetto celebrity. His notoriety made him irresistible to women. His success fed his ego. With that ego he developed a cavalier and cocky attitude. He was able to engage with women sexually at his leisure, escalating to freakish and dominating escapades. David finds out later as he's evolving into a man that, that lifestyle may have altered his love life. He has to reflect on his past relationships and focus on present relationships to help with his journey to finally making love.
This book is where past times cross time in this insane yet wonderful world we live in. As you read this book you may identify with some of the stories, remember some things long forgotten or learn somethings you did not know.
This book will be entertaining, which is what it was intended to be. To some, it may even be offensive, but it is the story of a man that actually existed; a man of great courage and few resources, a man who protected and loved his family in the midst of great human challenges. This book will let you become acquainted with an unusual man who possessed an uncanny sense of impending danger; a gift that allowed him to see the other man's character weaknesses in time to arm himself with the necessary armor needed for the moment. Excluding a few words in the beginning chapters of the book, to make the story interesting, ninety- five percent of this book is true, as told to the author by his father, his aunt, and his uncles. Many stories were also supplied by the author's mother and many other family members.
Strap yourself in as you blast off to cram variations of wacky lines and bizarre takes on life into your already overflowing head. Everything you ever needed is inside the book before your very eyes. Anything you could ever dream of is right here ready for you to take into your hands and sift through the magical pages. There's something for everyone and you never know how you'll come out the other side. So take a gander or better yet a cruise. As you're riddled to bits with an overwhelming force of puns and insane mind bending thoughts. There's no reason to look anywhere else. You found just what you've been looking for your entire life but you didn't realize it until now. So come on in and see what goofy bits wait for you.
The beloved, bestselling potty-training classic, now re-released for a new generation! An elephant makes a big poop. A mouse makes a tiny poop. Everyone eats, so of course: everyone poops! Taro Gomi's classic, go-to picture book for straight-talk on all things "number 2" is back, as fresh and funny as ever. • Both a matter-of-fact, educational guide and a hilarious romp through poop territory • Filled with timeless OMG moments for both kids and adults • Colorful and content-rich picture book The concept of going to the bathroom is made concrete through this illustrated narrative that is both verbally and visually engaging. Everyone Poops is just right for potty-training and everyday reading with smart, curious readers. • Perfect for children ages 0 to 3 years old • Equal parts educational and entertaining, this makes a great book for parents and grandparents who are potty-training their toddler. • You'll love this book if you love books like P is for Potty! (Sesame Street) by Naomi Kleinberg, Potty by Leslie Patricelli, The Potty Train by David Hochman and Ruth Kennison.